I Lost My Gift

[Fig]

During my latest bout of depression, which was very severe--psychotic, in fact, I had a series of ECT treatments--17. to be exact. That was 7 years ago, and while I am much better, I still have depression and anxiety. However, my creative gifts seem to be gone. Always I was able to write (poetry, stories.)paint, sketch, embroider---create!!! Now it's gone. It was such a comfort to me. It helped me to express my feelings and release the pain. but now, nothing. Has anyone else had similar troubles? what can I do? Marion

[Cry Tears]

Marion....doing art is a little like riding a bike. You can be away from it for a bit, then seem to have to start over, but you take off faster than if you'd never ridden.
I might suggest joining a paint group. I water color and have been taking lessons for several years.
Perhaps having someone teach you how and maybe your artistic talant will come back...I bet I'm right!
Keep trying....please don't give up.
Get a sketch book and scetch away. Dont feel embarrased that you aren't great at first....just keep practicing and drawing. Keep in mind....art is a matter of differing "eyes".
I promise you this....you'll find your way back somehow if you keep trying! Your brain will discover ways back to the section that holds your talant. Its still in there....you just have to find the road back!
Don't be discouraged.....color just basic pictures.....no subjects...just mix colors and washes....but keep going.
If you don't like the first few pictures....just toss them out if they displease you,,,,,but keep going!
I'll bet within a few months you'll be back to enjoying your creations!
You'll find a lot of happiness in creating just for your own enjoyment.
You don't have to share with anyone your work until you feel you're ready!
Try embroidering small items such as book marks....give them away to the seneior or care center....lots of people would enjoy your gifts no matter how simple
Blessings, cheryl
PS....keep us posted....I'd like to know if you did find paths to your talant once again and that you're finding some peace and happiness.

[Fig]

Thank you for the encouragement, Cheryl. A few nights ago I picked up my embroidery and am enjoying it! (I do my own designs as well as counted cross stitch). And I do find it relaxing. I did a small pencil sketch last month while I was visiting my sister--a tiny landscape, which is the kind of thing I used to do. So, as you said, it's still there--I just have to tap the source. Marion

[Cry Tears]

Dear Marion....see...you'll find a way to connect to your artistic talant.
I pray you keep trying....soon post what you've drawn. Probably make me embarrased of my measly paintings! I've found that talanted people have same personalities....deeply feeling, compasinate people.
I'd rather be this, than to be whole, mean spirited and nastey!
No ones ever accused me of being selfish and mean spirited...but I have been accused of being a nut case! At least this squirrel shares!
Blessings to you...keep it up! You'll find your way back. Cheryl

[Doodles]

Hey Fig,

I've got the same problem, Buddy. crytears is right. It will come back to you. It came back to me. While in the service I didn't do a whole lot. When I was diagnosed with Myoclonus (uncontrollable musle jerk) I didn't think it could ever happen again. But now with a little bit of practice I'm better as far ans my skill. I'm more confident in my ability. And I'm more creative - I've even started to write a short story.

Keep at it.

[marijo]

[quote=Fig;35007]During my latest bout of depression, which was very severe--psychotic, in fact, I had a series of ECT treatments--17. to be exact. That was 7 years ago, and while I am much better, I still have depression and anxiety. However, my creative gifts seem to be gone. Always I was able to write (poetry, stories.)paint, sketch, embroider---create!!! Now it's gone. It was such a comfort to me. It helped me to express my feelings and release the pain. but now, nothing. Has anyone else had similar troubles? what can I do? Marion[/QUOTE
Keep hoping and trusting and believing that your creativity will come back, because if you allow it to, it will. I had ECT around 30 years ago, quite a lot of it, and narcosis, (sleep treatment) also. I was in hospital for about 4 months. I am creative, and have been for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I go through a dry patch. if you find writing difficult, paint. Through painting you will be able to express yourself, and get the therapeutic effect also. Its very calming. Also, you can paint whatever you like, abstract, crazy, lifelike or not, whatever you feel like on the day. Watch this space, and I'll post a few of mine, and maybe a poem or two, to encourage you. Tell yourself you can do it, and then dont be too self critical. Think positive.
Good luck.
M.