WOW! Just had to share All of this!

[Pamster]

So you might remember me talking about us getting an aide to come out and help me with Jackie. Well I haven't posted much about that yet because I wanted to see how things went before getting my hopes up that it was really going to have a big impact on our lives. It's really been wonderful, she is great with him and he adores her.

I've just got to share this progress with you all. So we've been going to the park alot and he's lost over five pounds! That's not the only good news either, he's really talking more now and doing so well it's been awesome seeing the changes in him. So the other day we went to the park as we usually do and there were some kids playing.

Now this is not the good part, but still it's noteworthy because it's really the first time that something like this has happened to him and he ignored it. There was a pair of brothers and one had a toy sword, in my mind that toy had NO BUSINESS on the park grounds in a playground. SO this kid started stalking Jackie, I mean ********! He was all over my son and began swatting him with this sword.

So the aide saw this and got up and asked the kid to PLEASE STOP, so he put the sword in his pants belt loop and then after a few minutes he started hitting Jackie with his hand, STILL stalking him like no one's business. They both were laughing and being mean to him while he laughed with them and was oblivious to this negative aspect of the attention they were giving him.

The aide asked the kid where his mother was and he said he didn't know and ran off, meanwhile there was a lady who came over and the aide told her about what her son had been up to and she did not even have the good manners to thank her and apologize for crying out loud! I mean that is just wrong, if your kid is acting up and being mean to another child you take time and correct them and apologize at LEAST to the kid they were mean to you know? Honestly she was really rude!

So anyway, Jackie found another little boy to play with and these two brothers were just mean, they pushed the kid off a wooden tunnel and he started crying the poor kid, and the mom was no where to be seen. And then when my son's aide went over and told her that her son had just pushed another child down and he fell off the tunnel thing and COULD have broken his arm or leg and that it was really wrong to let him continue playing on the playground disturbing the other kids' like he was doing.

She again didn't say a word to the person who her son had wronged or to the aide! I was floored, but she was too far away from me for me to say anything. So anyway we went home a little later and Jackie knew we were going home, but didn't want to get out of the aide's car, so she told him she would be back to play with him again soon and that she would take him to the store and get him a toy car, (one of the matchbox ones he loves) and he finally got out of the car without any trouble.

It's just wonderful that he's becoming so flexible and able to interact with other kids in a positive way where I am not worrying about him hurting another child because he's acting appropriately. He was so cute playing with the one sweet boy who'd gotten pushed. And he plays nicely with younger kids too. He's not being so aggressive at home anymore either, I know it's because the aide takes him places and he gets to get out and see people! He likes to be around other people and actively seeks them out at the park so he can play with them.

I am so happy for him, that he's finally getting a chance to work his muscles out and to play at this great park we've got nearby. I just know that he's going to get in shape and have a better attitude because of having the aide out like this. And also we're looking at getting her for more hours, so we can go to the park almost every day instead of only three to four times a week. I am really glad we've gotten this help, it's making such a dramatic difference in Jackie's behavior, it's like night and day! I knew you'd all be glad to hear things have improved here and I just had to share.

There's more like he's saying he's sorry appropriately, like he did swat at me a week ago when she was here and she said, "No, no, you can't hit Mommy like that, no hitting Mommy." and he put his head down a bit and said "sorry." and it was just so wonderful to hear. He's saying it to me too when I correct him on the aggression. It's just such a relief to see this progress and changes in his behavior. It's so awesome that she cares about him as much as she does that she would stick up for him to another parent made me so happy!

[LIZARD]

These milestones mean so much, huh?? This is wonderful to hear. Make sure to praise him up and down for them!

I know what you mean about parents who refuse to recognize and deal with a bratty child's behavior. I have worked very hard at making sure I don't appear to be one of them, as Drew still occasionally acts impulsively and has to be corrected. It's especially difficult when it occurs with young kids. He snatched a toy out of a oddler's hand at Barnes and Noble some months ago, and I was partly turned away. I heard the commotion, and the mother--understandably upset--told me what happened. I made Drew apologize and told her we're working hard on teaching proper behavior so that his autism isn't used as an excuse, and she started to apologize to me, saying she didn't know. I assured her that she and her child did absolutely nothing wrong and thanked her for her understanding. I'm just glad it worked.

LIZARD

[Pamster]

Yes they do mean so much, after years of what seemed like just a plateau, now we're seeing such progress, it's so gratifying. A lot of it I think is from the RDI we did with him, even though we're not really working actively with it anymore, I think it helped him to open up to us and to realize that he's able to accept changes as long as he has some warning and that he knows what's coming up next. I am so proud of him.

It sounds like that was an understanding Mom and that she really understood. I agree that we shouldn't use autism as an excuse and should try to help them change their bad behaviors so they don't disrupt other kids like you know they are bound to when they are younger like 5-10. It's not easy but it's so gratifying to see your child using self-restraint they've recently acquired.

[Isabelle]

Knowing that someone comes just for them and has undivided attention makes a big difference in these kids, some take for granted the parents but to have a "friend" just for them. It is haven! My congratulations, Peglem! I hope she stays long enough to bond and continues his progress.

[peglem]

"My congratulations, Peglem!"

Er, Isabelle, I think you mean Pamster!

[Pamster]

LOL! Whoops! I am definitely Pamster, think hamster but with a "P"

[Isabelle]

Oooops! For some reason I keep mixing you up and so far I corrected myself on time but, obviously not this time.
Ok, don't make it an issue....well, ok, make it,.. have fun!
I don't mind

[Pamster]

Not even an issue for me Isabelle, so don't worry. I'm sitting here with a HUGE grin on my face after another awesome day with the aide. Jackie did so well, he like listened so well and asked her to push him on the swing! I mean FULL sentences! "Can you push me? Please?" I was so happy for him he's talking so much more, you're right Isabelle about our kids knowing that an adult is there just for them and how much that can really make a difference.

There was so much more to our outing like he knew that a man on a dock was fighing and he said, "He's fishing," to the aide and when asked if he wanted to go fishing sometime he said, "Go fishing." So that is just huge progress in my opinion. It's just awesome to see him opening up like this. I am so relieved we got a good aide, someone I like and that HE likes more importantly. She's so good with him too, it just warms my heart.

Anyway I have to get dinner going but I had to share the extra special stuff from today's outing that stood out in my mind as being really wonderful. there was much more but I don't have time to write it all, he's just doing so great now! I am so excited and happy for him!

[Pamster]

So I get Jackie on the bus this morning and the driver told me he said to her yesterday: "Sit down!" because she was training another driver and sitting next to him yesterday and she'd kinda half stood up and he was worried about her breaking the rules or getting hurt. He also said, "Are you all right?" when she'd coughed, she said it was the cutest thing. I am so impressed with all his talking these days, it's really awesome to see. Just had to share more good stuff!

[Isabelle]

Pamster, I am so happy for you and Jackie. You have no idea the impact of another person giving attention without judgment, ABA prompting, etc. Just to be a friend with no demands, spending time together, getting to know each other.... Wonderful!