When Should We Decide To

[BrokenBladder]

ask our doctor for a handicap sticker? I know this question may sound crazy but I have FMS, interstitial cystitis, IBS, pelvic floor dysfunction, and the list goes on and on. Today I really upset my DH because he took me to Busch Gardens for my birthday. He knew that I couldn't last long, but it frustrates him that I don't ask the doctor for a handicap tag so that we can park closer to things and not have to stand in line, when I can't do that. I know I'm being stubborn, but I hate to admit how bad I really am at the age of 41.
Can anyone here relate to me and share with me how they have handled things? Thanks in advance for helping to wake me up.

[Boopers]

Hi Lisa,

If you are having problems walking and such, then yes, I think it's time to talk to your doctor about a handicap placard. It doesn't matter the age, it's the disability. I have alot of spinal and heart problems and 5 years ago, when I was 47, I went to my doctor and told him I was having problems with walking alot, which he already knew, and when I ask if he would sign the paper that I got from the DMV, he said absolutely!!

I know it's difficult to think about that you don't want to admit it but it's better than being in alot of pain or having to take an extra pain pill.

Good Luck to You,
Linda

[Pharmacist.steve]

Having a handicap plate or placard does not necessarily mean that you will FIND a vacant handicap parking space. I have handicap plates on our vehicles and often have to drop my wife off at the door and go find someplace to park and catch up with her. the reverse is true as well... I go ahead and get the vehicle and come back to the entrance door and pick her back up... leaves her as much of her energy as possible to walk around in the store/mall

Pharmacist Steve
www.chronicpainresourcecenter.com

[erfan]

I have had a handicap sticker for about 3 years. I asked my PM Doc to sign off on one fairly early in our relationship, but with 4 levels of disc problems, 2 levels of spinal stenosis, scoliosis, spondylosis, and facet arthritis, I walk with a cane and it is quite painful to walk.

I would suggest that if you feel that you legitimately need the handicap sticker, ask for it!

[BrokenBladder]

Thanks for the replies. I know it sounded like a stupid question, but I've had a difficult time with acceptance when it comes to my illness. My DH is a wonderful person and I hate talking to him about these issues because I get angry and he dosen't deserve it.

[ErinENj]

Lisa,

I can understand not wanting to get a perminent handicap sticker (or placard..if I refer to it as a placard, it's just because here in NJ, that's what we get if we don't get the actual license plate). I had 3 temporary tags, hoping that by the time it expired in 6 months I would not need it any more. It never happened, but I went on using the expired temp tag for about a year because I couldn't admit to myself that I actually needed it. I finally got to the point where I hated feeling like I was doing something wrong because I didn't have an unexpired one. In NJ, you can only have 3 temp tags, so I was out of options. I just had a really hard time trying to get it through my head that at 24, I would need a perminent pass. It was a realization that this is going to be permanent and, if I got the pass, it would be down on paper as being permanent. That was really rough on me, but it's what I had to do. THere weren't any more choices for me, so I finally just did it. I sent in my information last May, but the state sent it back looking for a letter from my doc saying that it was in fact permanent and explaining why. It was completely demeaning. I was hoping to have it just done quick and painlessly, but I'm sure because of my age, they were suspicious of me actually needing it for the rest of my life. It took ages for my doctor to write the letter, but eventually I got it all together and sent it back in. One of the tricks I learned that if you send something to the state in one of those priority mail overnight things, it tends to get them moving. I have a family friend who at 19 got a rare form of brain cancer (I can't ever remember what it is actually called); she could barely move, let alone walk, but the state made her wait 10 weeks to get her pass. Not because of paperwork, just because of the state and their lousey way of doing things. The only reason I got mine quickly, I think, is because of the way I sent it back. I guess overnight priority really makes a point to them.

I know it is hard to admit that you need it, but it really can help. At the college I go to, parking is a HUGE issue (problem is the better word). If you don't get there at 7:15 am, you don't get a spot. Usually, it isn't an issue for me because I get there so early, but when I have 10am classes, I have no other option but to park in the handicap spots. Also, because my schedule has me walking across campus for one class (where there are no handi spots), I have to park close to where my last class is.

Besides school, when I go to the grocery store, or goodness forbid, actually go to the mall, by the time I get out of there, I have a hard time with a rational thought because of the pain, let alone walking. So I have to park close, and the only way to have that option, is to have the pass. Unfortunately, like Pharmicist Steve says, it's no promise of a spot. I can never, ever find one at the grocery store near my house. It's amazingly annoying!

The only other problem I have ever had with a handicap pass is the looks I get when I get out of my car. People look at me and I get these looks like "she can't be handicapped, why does she get to park there?? She looks fine. I can't believe she's taking that spot away from someone who really needs it." Those are the times where I kinda wish I had a limp or something just so that I had some sort of visible excuse. I hate to say it, but sometimes I fake a little limp just so that I don't have to deal with those looks.

But, overall, having a handicap pass is a good idea, if you need it. There's no doubt that it is really hard admitting that you need it, but you also have to do waht's best for you and your health. I hope all goes well with trying to get it! The paperwork is usually a pain, but as is all paperwork (sometimes I wish I could just get a stamp that has all of the important information that is always asked on it so I don't have to fill it out anymore! Let us know how you make out!!

[Cry Tears]

Yes...****n...don't walk to your local DMV and ask for the Handi Placard papers. Take them with you to your doc appointment.....tell, yes TELL your doctor you need his signature on the HC DMV papers.
You wont have to argue or beg...doctors know our limitations. Besides, when you have disc disease or any bone problem...no way should you be wearing them out!
They give out handicap placards for Diarreah alone! Picture this scenario. A crazed woman driving a huge SUV...tires squeeling..****nning over grandpa , jockeying into the only HC space as grandma gives you the middle finger, crazed woman pulls out her HC placard hanging it on the mirror and befor it stops swinging in its place she's out the door running...eyes wildly focused on the bathroom door praying its not occupuied!
On days like this....Get outa my way! Nothing can stop me! I'll take the last handicapped space in town if need be when I gotta go...I gotta to GO!
Most times....if Im going to shop....I will go back and repark into a regular spot...unless its a day I'm hurting and feeling the need for handicap parking. If so...then Im not really into shopping then anyway.
Life with Crohns....well....its been...clothes changing!
Blessings, cheryl

[Pamster]

My doctor had the forms in his office and I was able to call in and ask him for one all filled out. But then I am an amputee using a wheelchair all the time to get around so I really had to have one, doesn't mean that anyone else shouldn't get one though, I look at it this way, if you feel it's time to get one because walking is too stressful on your body and your doctor agrees it's time to get one so you can make your life easier then you owe it to yourself and your family to get one.

I know it's kind of embarrassing to use the spaces, but if you need to you shouldn't let that stop you. I know that I don't let it bother me anymore, but I don't have the license tag kind yet, I want the kind that I can take with me and use in other people's cars since I do go out a lot like with my mom and my son's aide. It really makes my life easier and if you're holding back because you kind of feel it's admitting your weak to get one of them, then maybe you can try to think about it as just another phase in your life, and NOT some kind of admission of weakness, because I don't think it means I'm weak because I use one.

I know it's hard to think about, I know it can make you angry, but try to look at it objectively, and think that you're doing it for your family. Try to take the emotional reaction to it out of the equation and see if you can come to accept that this is just another step in managing your pain. I know it isn't easy, but if you give it a chance I am sure you will appreciate the difference having the disabled placard makes in your quality of life. I hope I didn't offend anyone, I just wanted to speak out on this touchy topic and to let you know BrokenBladder, it's not a stupid question, its something you are having a hard time with and that's understandable.

I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do, I am sure you will do what's best for you and your family.