Strategies for dealing with non-compliance...

[Pamster]

I thought this would be a interesting subject to post about especially since today we took Jackie to the beach and he was somewhat stubborn about leaving. We had to tell him firmly that if he didnn't leave with us now he wouldn't get to come back and there would be no next time. That was what ultimately worked. The old "We're leaving without you" trick that might work with NT kids did not work with Jackie.

Just curious as to what kinds of things you end up having to do to get your autistic child to comply with your wishes, I hate to say wishes because really it's our needs, like we NEED them to listen to us and to DO what we need them to, you know? So anyway what kinds of thiings have you tried that did or did not work?

[MomOTwins]

One thing that we have done, as we had horrible meltdowns when it was time to end any activity, was to use a countdown method. When it was 10 minutes before leaving, we'd announce it; when it was 5 minutes before it was time to go, we'd announce it; when it was 1 minute before we had to transition, we'd announce it. The important thing here is that you have to be the tough guy and not allow extra minutes, have to enforce the deadline (even if it meant physically relocating the kiddo ), and really have to be consistent in your presentation (don't change the wording, just change the number of minutes).

Kim

[DoIhaveto?]

The countdown method seems to work well, especially if you have a visual timer. There are ones you can get that have red time allotment that disappears with no ticking or alarms, in case that bothers some. (I think $25 from OT sites like www.integrationscatalog.com )
We also use a picture of a stop sign as well as some sign language and words. (example: Stop, all done sad. Time to go bye-bye.) Sometimes it helps more if he's allowed to hold the stop sign or picture of the car etc.
Good luck.

[Keggy]

three things come to mind

wording.. when you ask a child to do something don't ask them too ... tell them too. If you were to say "could you set the table" you will not get the same response as "jack, come set the table" (also clarity helps... don't say clean your room, say make your bed and put your clothing in the hamper) and no more than two instructions at a time... or one if they can't handle two.

If you were to say "john we are leaving now, get your coat" in a low tone it will make a big difference. Don't use a mommy sing song voice when you make these requests. We tend to try to sound all mother like and sweet with our kids which is fine normally, but not when asking them to do something, that dosn't mean sound like a hag either.

warning times and fairness...be reasonable.. if you got to the ballorama and you said you would be there an hour or so... it only seemed like a few minutes to the kid. Tell them we will be leaving when the clock says 7:00 give them warnings before going in ten minutes, then again in 5. Don't make them mommy minutes. If you say 5 minutes mean 5 minutes. (whats good for the goose is good for the gander) this goes for when you are doing something as well and need a minute. Don't tell them to give you a minute or five, tell them we will leave as soon as I finish..... and stick too it. If you have to break a promise like that get down to their height, look them in the eye ... explain and apologize. give them the chance to respect you.

set a good example... when you say you are going to do something do it. don't say you will be off the phone, or you will get that in a second.... and do it.