I am in danger of myself (poem) I am ok

[Kashis]

I am in danger of myself I am feeling lost and not like myself who am I what have I done to become the abused one

I can not trust or let my guard down who knows who is out there to push me round

I feel a failure for things that have been done why did I stay why didn't I run
I will kill myself before I let anyone hurt me I have a heart and now I hold the key

I am in danger of myself I am worthless and not myself you have taken my life away but I am becoming a survivior starting today

the flashbacks are hurting me deep inside I need help I need a guide I will not ask I think I am crazy so I take control things so hazy

I am in danger of myself someone took away my mental health I will not let them ever succed I will take things in my own hands I will make me bleed you have no control I do now how does it feel are you proud

You call me crazy so I want to die I am in danger of myself wonder why

My children are victims cause I didn't stop it I am in danger of myself but it was you who lost it I feel I failed everyday but I didn't fail you made me feel this way

I am in danger of myself I can't get control so out of my body I try to stroll I lost my heart lost my mind but it wasn't me It was abuse so unkind

I am in danger of myself for trusting you living each day is a battle too
I am in danger of myself for trying to be happy I will stop this pain all by myself this time I don't need your help

I am in danger of having these thoughts see what youve done I am lost I bet your proud and know you won
You wanted it this way the control the upper hand me being your slave Ill slap you Bi**h you better behave

Its all over and your still there my head always saying I better beware

I am in danger of myself as no one can see the marks inside because of you they learned how to hide I buried them put them away flashbacks is what they will be and how they will stay

I am in danger of myself I am afraid to ask for help I have been judged enough and won't do this to myself

I am in danger of me don't you see I am in need of help so despretley I am in danger of myself if I don't get help soon I can't let you take my life I will do it myself I can do this all myself

I am in danger of me someone care take me away from the life I fear let me trust you let me hope I am in danger of myself please reach out to me and help me cope


I am in danger of myself hear my call I am not crazy I just put up a brick wall I am in danger of myself please stand by my side because locked in me are terrifing fears inside

I am in danger of myself its no lie please get me out please try
I am endanger of myself please be true be there for me and I will get better and return the favor to you

[blossom4th]

For anyone out there who is hurting;who is being abused or if you know of someone who is being abused.....GET HELP NOW!!!

[JAVISI]

Krissi,
I understand why you feel like you have no control over your life. When you are abused you are made and told that you are nothing, you are worthless and sometimes you are called creazy. I could go on about the mental abuse but you get the picture. When you are abused you are controlled by another, you ose your identity and self worth. This all happens over a period of time. You become brain washed, when you hear how worthless you are so many times, you begin to beleive it!

I am not in an abusive reletionship now. I am free but when I am down I hear those words of worthlessness again. I remember the beatings! I too feel such guilt for not leaving sooner. I thought by staying until thjey were grown was the best thing for them But I was wrong! I feel such guilt that my children had to see me being abused and then when they were teens he became rough with them! Never abuse physically but he has a way of hurting you to the core with his words!

I can't go back and change things, if I could I would but I can only move forward now and remind my kids how precious they are and if not for them I would not have been able to withstand the abuse, They gave me a areason to live! Now I know I must find that inner strength to love myself uncondtionally and not beat myself up over the past, after all it can not be changed. I must remember that we all make mistakes!

I also must let go of all of the abuse, forgive and be at peace with myself! I am on the long and winding road of recovery!

Dreaming Big and Reaching for the Stars, Javi