Do Not Cry In Front of The Pain Doc! Why?

[GJZH]

I started to read this board right before the crash and I think someone or some of you stated that you should never cry to the pain management doctor...Why?

[Diandra]

Hi,
There are many opinions that are generated on this board and that is all they are, opinions. There have been several times I have cried in front of my pain doctor....sometimes the pain and frustration get overwhelming and you can't help it. I don't know who said not to cry but, perhaps their doctor re-acted in a negative way to it or thought that person was being manipulative...I don't know. Personally, I think just being honest and up front with your doctor and developing a good relationship is what is best....if you should cry from time to time, so be it, that is how you were feeling at the time.

I am sorry for what you are going through. You have come to the right place for support and information.

Take care,
Diandra

[hummer]

I don't know why someone said that, either.....

Sometimes I look at my doctor and say....."I'm going to cry, hold my hand."...and he does....I have said that to many health care individuals....no one has ever refused to hold my hand.......

I had one doctor, that upon our first meeting, when he shook hands with me at introduction....I started crying....and he held my hand and talked with me for an hour and a half.......I was crying the whole time.....not my favorite visit.....might not have been his, either....but he is the best Doctor I have ever had......

Blessings to you.......
Hummer

[aggscott]

I have to say that I to have cried in front of my doctor. You are in so much pain and you get upset. Crying is an human emotion, it can not be held back when your in pain so why hold it back in front of the one person that should understand why your feeling this way?

So far I have not had any doctor react in a bad way, and I hope it would never happen. I do not know if I can see and trust a person that can not handle someone crying when things are bad and your in pain.

Aggie

[NevadaNan]

I have cried in front of my pain doctor and she, at one time, cried with me. She knows what severe pain is like and I think that it has made our relationship more open so I'm likely to tell her everything instead of being embarrassed.

I have also cried in front of my neurologist, a very cold person. When I asked for copies of my records from her, I was surprised when I found that she noted my crying in a negative way, making it sound like all my problems were psychological. One of the things I was upset about was my fibro and since she doesn't believe in fibro, it was a short meeting. So maybe crying in front of doctor(s) opens the door to negative statements on your medical records.

Comments from anyone else???

NevadaNan aka nancyh

[Mcdom57]

I had a horrible write up about my "crying" - as well as how I was standing. It happened in June and I am still to fumed to go back to this idiot.

I just suffer and get what I can to help with the pain.

Dom

[Boopers]

I have also cried in front of my pain doc. He was very sympathetic and it helped as he, too, knew first hand about my pain. I see him every three months and each time he listens to my complaints about the pain and has done a wonderful job in trying to prescribe meds to ease my pain. I think it is a very individual thing. Each doc will react differently.
Linda

[janie]

It depends on the doc.

Most will interpret it [crying] as a sign of depression, not a reaction to severe pain. The end. It will be written down in the notes from that visit, with perhaps a referral to a shrink or rx for prozac. It is especially damning for women, and even worse for men (remember, men are supposed to be stoic in their suffering).

Other docs will simply put up their wall (distancing); some will quickly end the visit, excusing themselves to go write the scripts or take an important call from the president.

The rare few will understand that a human being can only take so much, and that for some, just getting to the appt. is an endeavor (especially if they are alone and have physical problems worsened by sitting, turning one's head/neck, using their arms, etc).

Any patient should understand that any emotional display will more than likely be viewed as negative and if the doc is, for example, an examiner for the other side, this emotionalism can be used to substantiate any number of pyschosomatic foundations for whatever condition is at issue.

Is any of this fair? Don't think so. I personally have had more success being the "stoic patient" than the one who displays their pain/frustration openly. Think of it as "sucking it up" while at an athletic event; you get in, get your issues across as quickly as possible, and then, when the doc leaves the room, you can let down your guard.

Of course, this is only my experience, and it may differ from others. Just sharing.

[debtoo]

I will admit that I did break down and cry in front of my otho. dr./surgeon the last time I saw him. I have never cried in front of a dr. before ever. I really just booo-hoooed to the fullest. LOL

I had to wait three weeks for the appt. I was told prior to the visit that He could give me a cortisone shot in my hip joints, but he would decide if I would recieve the shots.

Well dr. did x-rays and came in the examination room to inform me that he could not give me the cortisone shots because there was not enough space between the joints to even fit the needle in.

I had been waiting three weeks for the relief I believed these shots would give me and now it wasn't an option.

I think I sorta caught him off guard. He did offer an alternative treatment, but that's going to be major surgery.

I feel that some drs. see crying and being emotional as a bad thing. Seem to try to think the patient has a pyschological problem which they try to say is the cause of the pain. some drs. really see crying as very negative which is so unfair.

Deborah

[cindybear]

Once I was my Neurologist and I was telling him about my increased dizziness, increased confusion, fogetfullness...Etccc..And he looked at what I was taking and said your taking to many narcotics.....Right then and there...I just started to cry....Tears flying...I couldn't control them.....I couldn't even speak...He looks at hubby and says, Whats wrong with her ! He tells the Doc, That I have a full plate etc....And the Doc says well, We will get a MRI but I really think we should re-evaluate her drugs,,,,The next week, we went back to him and he just kept looking at these papers then at us , then the papers....( I;m thinking --What is going on,,,) Then he just blurted out...You have a problem, You need a surgery consult, Your aneurysm has growed...Now, I didn't cry (not until I got into the car with hubby ) But I think he thought I was going to loose it..But he never ever mentioned my use of drugs ever again....But the fear of that doc taking away my only source of relief...I just lost it....I think that was about the only time I can remember..HUgs, Cindy