Between a Rock and a Rock and a Hard Place

[Salsa]

I posted this on the Bipolar Board, but it's just as much related to epilepsy because my 2 of my meds (that helped goof me up) are for epilepsy. Epilepsy is also a Rock in my situation (see the title of this post). Besides, with epilepsy often comes mood disorders. Mostly mania for me. Not so much depression. Perhaps (occasional) situational depression.

I'm going to break my thread into 3 actual posts so as to make it more readable. Also, if it's too much to read, you can read the last post and perhaps get the gyst of it.

~Sandy

[Salsa]

Where do I start? Hmmm. I guess I'll start where I am and then back up a bit.

Well, in the past 72 hours or so, I've had a husband taken away bwo ambulance and admitted into the hospital.....again. I've caught a bad cold. I'm just getting over having too much of a prescription med in my system. I've had 12 seizures (one of which was what is best known as a "grand mal").

Oh, and I forgot the big one: I almost lost my job today because I've missed so much work (will explain in a minute) and so I opted to take "Family Medical Leave" instead. I have that for up to 12 weeks off with my job held in that period of time. It's unpaid but I still have my medical insurance. I probably won't take that long though as I need to get back to work before summer vacation begins-- I'm guessing the beginning of April. If I go back then, that will give me time (before Summer Break/I work for a pre-school program) to prove that I'm ready to go back to work. I'm not wanting to go back in September only to find out that someone else has been hired for my position.

What led up to all this is that back in October, I was seeing double-- a lot. It was a side effect of one of my meds which was just not working well for me anymore. I had a seizure at work too, which only added to the matter. I'm seeing double from too many meds and yet I'm having seizures too.

So the doctor tries Lamictal (for seizures) in addition to the Tegretol. In November, the doctor raises the Lamictal a little higher. He lowers the Tegretol at the same time too-- but not enough.

I'm doing well. A little better than when I started. This is for about a month. About a week before Christmas, however, I had a case of acute mania. The first one I've had since 1964 or 65 when I was a little kid and had a reaction to phenobarbital (except that it didn't have a name back then then). Hallucinations/Delerium-- for hours The whole ball of wax.

I'm put in the hospital for 5 days. They find I have an overdose of Tegretol in my system. I found this interesting because Tegretol usually brings you down where it's Lamictal that normally brings you up. But Lamictal makes the Tegretol stronger (even though it had been lowered some).

They put me on Geodon and do well on it-- for about a month. I'm feeling on top of the world. Not in a manic way. In a "normal" way. It's really nice. The Geodon eventually got me depressed, though-- and pretty low. In January, local family doctor lowers my Geodon, but it's still too high and so in early March I lowered it myself. Probably not a bad idea, but I did it too quickly.

Well, in the process I got manic again. Pretty much a repeat of last time, though it probably didn't last for hours. I'm hospitalized for five MORE days and put on Seroquel-- as I posted last week on this board. I do well for about a week or so. Able to function at work well. The whole ball of wax.

(continued in next post)

[Salsa]

Until this weekend when the Seroquel catches up with me (built up in my system). I took a really long nap Sunday but decide to go to work Monday because I don't want to lose my job. I'm the only one working, (though my SO has SSDI), and even more importantly, my job brings with it medical insurance and without it, I have a whole new set of problems. My PTO is used up and, as I said, I'm concerned I'm going to get let go if take any more time off.

I struggle through work Monday, but Monday night, I fall asleep at 6:30pm am in bed for about 20 hours-- most of that time asleep. I'm up for 4 hours and sleep 10 more-- and then only so few because I give work another try Wednesday.

Well, here I am in the present. I did show up at work and stayed about an hour-- but shared how I was feeling and was talked into calling the main office who asked me not to continue working today. I was also told by one of my superiors that two of them were planning on coming tomorrow to sit down and talk to me. (Uh oh).

Well we spoke for a while and it was clear that my job was in serious danger. I suggested that I take a leave of absence (rather than lose my job). They asked if I wanted to take a Family Medical Leave. I indicated that I thought this was a good idea.

Whew. Well that says it all. I know that nobody has any answers, but I wanted to share it just the same.

[Roobarb]

I have no answers but I've been through the same in the past and had a really bad time in one job. I was limited to what I could do and felt so humiliated by it. Plus, everyone always looks at you suspisciously and keeps asking if you are okay...geez that frustrates me.

I'm currently off sick and work have been good. One of the managers even bought me dinner cause I couldn't cook.

However, my manager is on leave or maybe she is back now and I'm expecting that talk when I get back which is going to knock my socks off I think. She's really cool and it won't be because I can't work, just out of concern but I know that she will also keep an eye out and will send me home if i don't function well but won't lose my job. I dread it and I hate going back because the whole place will know why I was off and I feel really shy and stuff. I can't describe it but feel less confident which makes it worse because then people think you can't cope when you can.

[Porkette]

Hi Sandy,
I'm sorry to hear things haven't been going to good. How's Robin doing? It's great to see you on the forum it's been so long. I know each time I get sick with a cold I always have many more sz. do to meds I take for my cold. When I was on tegretol xr it would easily become toxic from over the counter meds. so be careful.
Just like you I've been sick with a stomach virus 4 times now, I'm exhausted even though I fall asleep at 8:30 pm if not before and I'm having grand mal sz. also even after the surgeries.
If you have a medical note from your Dr. your employer can't lay you off so you might want to consider that. I know how you feel about work and the health ins. because if I'm not working my husband and I have no health ins. Maybe you should have a complete check up done to see if anything else is going on besides the sz. that's causing all the problems. My prayers are with you and Robin. Take care and May God Bless You Both!

Sue

[Salsa]

Originally Posted by Porkette

Hi Sandy,
I'm sorry to hear things haven't been going to good. How's Robin doing? It's great to see you on the forum it's been so long. I know each time I get sick with a cold I always have many more sz. do to meds I take for my cold. When I was on tegretol xr it would easily become toxic from over the counter meds. so be careful.
Just like you I've been sick with a stomach virus 4 times now, I'm exhausted even though I fall asleep at 8:30 pm if not before and I'm having grand mal sz. also even after the surgeries.
If you have a medical note from your Dr. your employer can't lay you off so you might want to consider that. I know how you feel about work and the health ins. because if I'm not working my husband and I have no health ins. Maybe you should have a complete check up done to see if anything else is going on besides the sz. that's causing all the problems. My prayers are with you and Robin. Take care and May God Bless You Both!

Sue

Sue,
As I mentioned, Robin's in the hospital. He was "out of it" most of the day, but we were able to speak this evening. As I said, I'm not feeling the greatest and since he wasn't with it (and I don't drive to top all that off), I haven't visited him yet. I plan on seeing him tomorrow (Thursday) and getting groceries as well.

I promised Friday to my daughter A LONG TIME AGO. She has Spring Break and Friday was going to be a day off for me ANYWAY. Her birthday is in about a week and since I'm almost never able to get her to the store (remember nobody here drives, I normally work at a school 7 hours a day, she's in school, and we rarely have a day off at the same time because I work for the Federal Government which has nothing to do with her school) Because of this, I'm not normally able to take her to the store-- atleast not during the school year or over Christmas Break. All this said, this is why I'm trying to crunch things into tomorrow.

[howdydave]

Howdy Sandy!

I had problems due to absanteeism too. It was fine when
I was on salary, I could work my 40 (+) hours and not have
to worry about the clock.

Then my twirp of a new supervisor decided that he should
put me on the clock since everybody else was on wages.
I had a few incidents where I ended up sleeping 15 or 20 hours
at a stretch and not calling in.

That's ancient history but I just thought that you might like
to know that you're not the first person who's been there.