Any advice?

[jingle]

A dear friend (a man I rarely see but talk on the phone with several times a week) had three massive heart attacks in November. The atery blockage around his heart is so severe that no surgery could be done and his health depends on him STOPPING SMOKING, losing weight, changing his diet, exercising and medications. He immediately stopped smoking and followed all the other instructions.
He came to visit last week and he looks WONDERFUL.
A month or so ago we had been talking on the phone and I heard a distinctive "click" ... I said "Hey, that sounded like a lighter? Was it?" He said it wasn't and I believed him. During this visit I asked how he was doing with no smkong and he said he was smoking "one or two" when he was having a couple of drinks or beers. I said that usually one or two turned into three or four and then ten or twelve so maybe he shouldn't start having any now. He said he knew that and changed the subject. I went with the change ... I spent so many years listing to nagging and know it didn't help.

So -- WHAT WILL HELP? Is there anything I can do? Should do?

Thanks in advance for anything.

[ldudette]

Hi,
I stopped smoking 5 years ago and I can tell you this, it is just best to leave him alone. I have never met a smoker yet that wants to hear what any of us nonsmokers have to say. The addiction makes one super defensive at the least. He knows what he is doing is killing him and only he can deal with his addiction!
Good luck
Lynn

[Whisper]

I'm with Idudette! Stay out of it.

I remember when I quit several years ago and started with one here and one there. People were at me all the time. I hated it. It made me feel awful that I let so many people down (mostly family). Which in turn, made me smoke even more. :(

So, until he decides he wants to quit for 'good', then there really isn't much you can do. I would say to him something like, if he had a cigarette, no biggie, but that you'd like to see him be able to quit permanently. I would try to not make it a huge deal though so he doesn't feel 'put upon'.

Up to you of course. I have friends who smoke and wish they'd quit. I find it very hard to spend time with them now.

I have quit successfully now for nearly 5 years...this time, the quit was for ME, not because everyone wanted me to quit.

Best to you,
Lorraine:)