Vikee1
02-13-2007, 11:40 PM
I was very active on the Multiple Sclerosis BB years ago. Now I visit on occasion but there was a new sign in process, so I'm considered new. I am Dx and disabled with MS. I do have some Psychiatric issues as well. I was a Teacher till I became disabled with MS and was lucky to get early retirement. I'm almost 65 going on 8!
I have been friends with a Man who has had a Psychiatric disability for years. He went from riches and prestige to rags and disgrace. He had a distinguished career at Ohio State University was married with a child and went to a Psychiatric Mental Hospital for a year and stayed disabled (Psychiatric) on SSDI!
I have know this man, David, who is 59 now, for 5 years....we had a some what loving as well as turbulent relationships...as friends, then lovers, then care takers. We both see the same Psychiatrist who has been supportive of our relationship since all told we helped each other living apart but staying together for part of the week, then the time turned into to weeks. We planned to live together this March. Our Psychiatrist did not agree with our decision but respected it nonetheless.
My MS has gotten slowly worse over the years. I have been able to care for myself and David who is helpless as many men his age who have been cared for by Mom and then wives....in this case I came after David had 3 wives. He doesn't have the patience to do little things. I planned to make him independent but succeeded in being a wonderful enabler for his helplessness. I pray for forgiveness for this! I tried to end our relationship a few times feeling overwhelmed by his mental and physical problems (he is an insulin dependent diabetic with many problems from this). But he always got me to see him again.
I don't answer his phone calls, did write to him and will again.....I have cognition problems with MS and now that has taken a time distortion. I don't remember if it's weeks or months or years since I saw him. My friends say it's a few weeks. Sometimes I don't know the season or day or when what happened till I search for reality.
David is diagnosed with Bipolar disorder with anxiety and depression. I'm quite sure (I was a Psych major before I started teaching...long story) David has an "Borderline Personality Disorder" with some minor "Dependent Personality Disorder" as defined by the American Psychiatric Association. I have been reading about this on the Internet. It fits him perfectly and confirms that I can't handle a relationship with him any longer because of my declining health. I fear he will take me down with him unless i end the relationship.
I feel so badly for him.....I worry about him.....he needs someone to care for him and accept his mental problems....I wish I could find someone for him...I wish I wasn't getting so sick....so unable to care for both of us. When were together for a few weeks, I couldn't function and couldn't handle his ups and downs etc.
I have hurt him by staying with him for 5 years. I feel guilty and it's not my fault we are both sick. I am attempting to survive on my own which I think I can do but not with him in my life.
I can't talk to him or I would feel so bad (he would play on my emotions) and so helpless that we would be together again. He knows I love him and care for him and hurt for me missing him and his hurt for not having me etc. We always didn't want the same type of committment...he wanted more than I could give and now I can give nothing......
WHAT IS THE BEST THING I CAN DO TO END THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF PAIN FOR HIM? I KNOW HE CAN COMMIT SUICIDE OR BE HOMELESS OR HOSPITALIZED OR FIND A REPLACEMENT FOR ME! HOW SHOULD I TERMINATE EVER SEEING MY BABY AND I HAVE TO!
God be with David and if you have read all this and have energy to advise me......It would help David, and me too!
Forever, Vikee1
PS, am posting this on the MS BB and the Personalities Disorders BB! :(
I have been friends with a Man who has had a Psychiatric disability for years. He went from riches and prestige to rags and disgrace. He had a distinguished career at Ohio State University was married with a child and went to a Psychiatric Mental Hospital for a year and stayed disabled (Psychiatric) on SSDI!
I have know this man, David, who is 59 now, for 5 years....we had a some what loving as well as turbulent relationships...as friends, then lovers, then care takers. We both see the same Psychiatrist who has been supportive of our relationship since all told we helped each other living apart but staying together for part of the week, then the time turned into to weeks. We planned to live together this March. Our Psychiatrist did not agree with our decision but respected it nonetheless.
My MS has gotten slowly worse over the years. I have been able to care for myself and David who is helpless as many men his age who have been cared for by Mom and then wives....in this case I came after David had 3 wives. He doesn't have the patience to do little things. I planned to make him independent but succeeded in being a wonderful enabler for his helplessness. I pray for forgiveness for this! I tried to end our relationship a few times feeling overwhelmed by his mental and physical problems (he is an insulin dependent diabetic with many problems from this). But he always got me to see him again.
I don't answer his phone calls, did write to him and will again.....I have cognition problems with MS and now that has taken a time distortion. I don't remember if it's weeks or months or years since I saw him. My friends say it's a few weeks. Sometimes I don't know the season or day or when what happened till I search for reality.
David is diagnosed with Bipolar disorder with anxiety and depression. I'm quite sure (I was a Psych major before I started teaching...long story) David has an "Borderline Personality Disorder" with some minor "Dependent Personality Disorder" as defined by the American Psychiatric Association. I have been reading about this on the Internet. It fits him perfectly and confirms that I can't handle a relationship with him any longer because of my declining health. I fear he will take me down with him unless i end the relationship.
I feel so badly for him.....I worry about him.....he needs someone to care for him and accept his mental problems....I wish I could find someone for him...I wish I wasn't getting so sick....so unable to care for both of us. When were together for a few weeks, I couldn't function and couldn't handle his ups and downs etc.
I have hurt him by staying with him for 5 years. I feel guilty and it's not my fault we are both sick. I am attempting to survive on my own which I think I can do but not with him in my life.
I can't talk to him or I would feel so bad (he would play on my emotions) and so helpless that we would be together again. He knows I love him and care for him and hurt for me missing him and his hurt for not having me etc. We always didn't want the same type of committment...he wanted more than I could give and now I can give nothing......
WHAT IS THE BEST THING I CAN DO TO END THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF PAIN FOR HIM? I KNOW HE CAN COMMIT SUICIDE OR BE HOMELESS OR HOSPITALIZED OR FIND A REPLACEMENT FOR ME! HOW SHOULD I TERMINATE EVER SEEING MY BABY AND I HAVE TO!
God be with David and if you have read all this and have energy to advise me......It would help David, and me too!
Forever, Vikee1
PS, am posting this on the MS BB and the Personalities Disorders BB! :(