Prayers for my nephews...

[milivica]

It's like a page out of a horror story in a news paper. Ya know how I never keep in touch with family, and neither does dh...well some of you might remember a couple years back, two nephews (we don't know them though) were set on fire by their mother, they were only about 1 and 3. Their mom went to jail, the kids went into foster care after spending some time with family. 'Mom' is a mess herself, met 'Dad' at 15 while living in a garage used for a crack house, she left home due to her stepdad's abuses. 'Dad' takes no responsibility for the kids, has been a mess since a divorce of 10 years ago and just out of jail himself.

So, these kids really have no one at all.

Well, the state gave the kids back to the mother once out of jail. Time marched on, now the kids are back in the system. The mother was caught selling them to get her and her boyfriend drugs. The kids were also drugged I assume to comply.

Dh's mom called, I heard him telling her, "do you know we have a child with autism, how's Lis (that's me) supposed to do that". In addition, I know I'm not the type of person, to help these kids. I'd just misunderstand them, there are people special enough to help them, but I'm not (now, if they had autism/spergers, I well might be that special person). I feel awful I can't take them in and hug them and poof make everything ok, but I know it's not that easy, and I feel I just can't.

Just please think of them and send them your prayers, to finally find the loving and secure home they deserve, and to be able to repair their little spirits that have been so damaged.

[peglem]

Wow, this is so sad. I understand why you can't take them...Its not as easy as just loving them back to sanity. Okay, I'm praying that God will send them an angel to turn their suffereing into strength, compassion and joy. (It seems like those who have suffered greatly have a greater capacity to relieve suffering in others, if they can recover sufficiently.) Poor kids.

[LIZARD]

((((((((((((Mili))))))))))))))))). :(




LIZARD, praying and sending hugs :(

[Lara]

Dear Mili,
What a dreadful situation. I can understand your dilema. I hope that those children find themselves in the care of loving people and that they get the right type of support along the way. How come your husband's mum was suggesting you were the one who might care for them? Sorry if this is personal or something, but I take it she's not in the position to care for them herself? Don't feel badly, though I probably would feel that way myself in the circumstances, but it seems to me you've made the right decision for your family at this time. There's only so much world we can save. I used to erroneously think I could save/care for the whole world, but I can't, I can only really care for and change the little part around me that I touch.

sorry to waffle on, just waking up over here.
(((Mili)))

[Braindrain]

((((((((Mili)))))))):(

Sending hugs and prayers to your nephews.

[Isabelle]

that's tough! hard on anyone. i don't know how some people can take several children with special needs and lived through the experience, perhaps because they are not emotionally involved like we are with our children ? i don't understand

let's pray that they find the right family to care for them

[milivica]

Dh and I feel so awful for the kids, he met them once, I have never met them. I want to take them in just as I do every time I hear stories like this...just so happens I'm related by marriage to this 'story'.

I think his mum suggested we take the kids, cause she was raised that way. It's kind of like, the women in the family have all these kids, and when they feel like it drop them off at her house for hours/days/weeks and just expect her to watch them. She's in pretty bad health herself (my MIL) and one of her grandchildren has sickle cell, so you can imagine that responsibility at times, and she pretty much lives there, her daughter (the mother) pops in from time to time. I've had my SIL have her kid call (who I met once) to ask me to come pick him up so he could stay the summer. What! But, that's just dh's family. Honestly, if I dumped Vince off with any of his relatives, despite his extensive needs, they'd be cool with it. However, they'd also probably whoop the daylights out of him! So like no way would I ever do that, plus none of them even live in our state.

Believe it or not, I know of a woman, that has what it takes to raise these kids. I bump into her from time to time. She's amazing, on a promise, she adopted 4 kids (she was single, no kids) from a woman whooo, she was the social worker of, when the woman went to jail for life. I have no idea what her number is or anything, but do see her from time to time...if I do, I will take it as a 'sign' to tell her about my nephews and see what she says. I mean, she has taken these four rough kids and given them such a wonderful home, and has never complained about her live turning upside down cause of it. And these kids were pretty rough, let me tell you.

But dh and I, we just can't. I feel so guilty, then again I feel just as guilty when ever I'd like to help and can't. If our kids were older, if I knew Carmen would be ok with the boys here, maybe that'd be different. But that's not how it is now.

I hesitated to post their story, cause it's so grizzly, but I know without a doubt prayer does help, and knew they could get that here. Dh and I too, have been talking, hoping and praying they get the home they deserve. It's going to be awfully hard, the 'system' is so full of kids like them.

For a long time we considered taking in a different nephew (years back) cause we knew he was in a horrible circumstance, living with an alcoholic, beatings and craziness, etc... Well, I was afraid to because of Carmen, and low and behold, he just went back to his mother, now a teenager, and has been trying to overtake his own sister (you know, sexually). I'm almost certain he's on the spectrum, but maybe it's just the way he was raised and he's really not. Hard to tell as little as I've seen him. Anyhow, as bad as we felt not taking him in, look what might have happened to little Carmen if we had.

What a mess for those kids. What a way to start out your life. It's sickening. I don't even feel blame for the mom or dad, as much as I just feel sick for them. Thank you for your prayers to them, I'll post about them as I find things out. I just hope they find a loving, secure and stable home to be adopted into, not just fostered. That they find happiness and their broken spirits can be repaired and flourish. That's my prayer for them.

[AKF]

What an awful situation all the way around. I can totally understand you wanting to help them, and I totally understand your concerns for keeping Carmen safe. After all those kids have been through, it would be unusual for them NOT to act out in some way toward her. Vince could even be at risk.

Man, it just breaks my heart. I will pray for them!!

[Pamster]

Oh this is so terrible Mili! I definitely will keep them in my prayers and hope that God blesses them as they are so young to have suffered so much already. It's a good thing you didn't take in the one nephew and that you went with your gut on that because once that kind of abuse takes place there is no undoing it. It's a horrible thing to live with and thankfully it didn't happen to your baby girl. *hugs*

I am so sorry to hear about their pain though and will keep them in my nightly prayers. :(