I'm losing my mind, called 911...in my sleep

[lacyndarella]

How long can a person worry before they actually crack?

I watch Jimmie like a hawk, questioning every little move...Is that a seizure...since his seizures are only a few seconds long, it's really hard to tell...suppose they have changed in appearance! How do I know. My blood pressure is through the roof and last night while dreaming I called 911. I mean I really called. I woke up to hear the operator asking me my emergency. I apologized and explained I was dreaming, but they had to send the police anyway. I feel like a royal fool.

Lacy

[Tracy Sheppard]

{{{Lacy}}}}
I think we have all been at the point you are at. Mine was the beginning of December when Megs was sick we didn't know what was going on, ran all kinds of tests etc. She was puking (when she pukes it is horrible and scary). My hubby has been away at school, and those 3-4 weeks was one of those times where I thought I was going to crack at times. I don't have the answers as far as what to do? I guess you continue on, you pray even harder and hope and pray that God continues to give you the strength to get thru. It is plain exhausting at times, after 12 yrs of the rollercoaster, I guess I kind of hop on when it's time to ride and hope the ride is a short one and we will be back on the merry go round soon. {{{{Hugs to you deary}}}}

[lorilou]

We've all been there. I spent about a year getting very little sleep -- watching Noah sleep. It got to the point where his neurologist said she was more worried about me than him. Our solution was a pulse ox monitor -- it doesn't take away all my worries but it does help.

Hang in there....

[RathyKay]

Is it okay that I laughed?:o After one of my girls was born, I remember sleeping poorly because I thought she was in bed with me and I didn't want to roll over and squish her. She was safe in her crib and I was needlessly worrying.:rolleyes: Mr. Kay had the same dream.

Anyway, I'm not trying to say you are needlessly worrying, but I would like to remind you that this is a marathon and not sprint. Take care of yourself so you can make the long haul. Dr. Rathy prescribes a nap. Go back to the days of "nap when the baby is napping." If you need to move him into your bedroom for peace of mind, do it. And, maybe remove the phone from the bedroom or move it to the other side so that hopefully you don't call 911 unless you really mean to. (And prayers that you never need to.)

[lacyndarella]

Of course it is okay to laugh. I did.

The sad thing is that Jimmie is really doing great. I think I'm in worse shape than he is.

He is being weaned off the ACTH, which I think is really worrying me. I want him off the drug, but it is kind of a security blanket too, and I'm afraid of what happens next.

Lacy

[PaulaScott]

I think that we all have similar stories because we have all been so sleep deprived that we can't see straight. I had to laugh too, but I feel for you.

Here's mine:

I dropped Em off at school one day, pulled out of the parking lot and not 5 minutes later, looked back at her carseat and panicked that she wasn't there. I went back to school, terrified that she was sitting alone in front of the school. When she wasn't there, I went inside and when I didn't see her in the lobby, I panicked some more and ran to her classroom, hoping that she had been taken back to her teacher. There she was, fat and happy and doing ROM with her teacher, right where she was supposed to be.

It's funny now, but man, I bawled at the time from relief, embarrassment and stress. I honestly thought I was losing my mind.

[Jenelle's Mommy]

Lacy - HUGS!

I did that once but thankfully I called my Mom while dreaming instead of calling 911. She of course was shaken by the call as I did it at 3:30 a.m. We are all human, and believe me, I know the stress of worrying when the next "shoe" will drop.

Jenelle had Infantile Spasms, and has really short seizures too. I can count the number of long seizures and grand mals she has had on two hands (used to be one hand, but she is getting older.) I always felt like her seizures were only an emergency if they were a grand mal that couldn't be questioned that she was actually seizing - if that makes sense.

With the short, quick seizures it really helps to think of them as coming in clusters. Does he have a "cluster" of quick seizures that add up to 5 minutes in a 15 minute time span? Do the small seizures seem to go a little longer each time? In a period of 20 minutes, how long has he been seizing? These are things I think of when I worry about whether or not to use Diastat and/or call 911. With Jenelle, if untreated, her clusters can get bigger and longer and if we are really oblivious, she can go into status (which has happened more than once!) When I'm asked by an ER doctor how long her seizure was, I usually tell them that she "clusters" and is at risk for "clustering into status" and that her seizures have totaled 10 minutes in a 20 minute time frame. They usually understand what I'm saying.

It is so difficult to keep your eye on the small seizures, but other things to look at as well are things like his mood, his behavior. Is he sleepier than normal? Is he crankier than normal? Etc.

I too recall waking up in the middle of the night wondering if I was not watching Jenelle enough. I realized that while I cannot watch her every minute of every moment, I can stay "in tune" with her. This helps me to relax a bit and enjoy the seizure free moments. Its tough, but you'll get the hang of it!

I hope this helps!

[lacyndarella]

Kelly and everyone,

Thanks for the support. I looked at Jenelle's blog and it is nice to know that I'm really not completely insane in spite of dh's constant ribbing me over the call to 911. He finds it quite amuzing!

Lacy

[just laurie]

Sleep deprivation does totally bizarre things to brains I've found! Hope you are able to catch up a bit on that sleep deficit, and hope Jimmy does well with the wean.

Laurie

[Heather]

I recently had another one of those unpleasant, lucid dreaming nights myself. I kept dreaming that all kinds of disasters were happening in the room. My sleep was so light and troubled that I was actually able to analyze the absurdity of the situations and snap out of each scenario, without fully rousing! The half waking nightmares just kept coming though!
I do sometimes wonder if I need a sleep aid.
Aidan is 3 and I haven't had a really good nights sleep since he was born.
I don't know when I'll ever be able to sleep through the night again, since he's still in our bed and always needs turning, if nothing else.
Somehow, we go on.

[Dented Angel/Lisa]

I've never called 911, but I sure have had entire conversations on the phone when asleep and didn't recall a single word of them, and that's WITHOUT kidlets to blame it on! I talked to one of my coworkers and helped her compose a letter to get out of jury duty, for Pete's sake. Must have done well, she didn't have to serve!

Lisa