Hello again Sorry been gone for so long

[beach1_gal@yahoo.com]

Hello everyone,

I have been reading the postings but at this time I don't seem to have the time or patience to be online typing for more than 5 minutes. I am also suffering from severe depression right now and no one knows why????

I know I still am having problems with the screws popping out on my forehead and they are sending me to a pain clinic but I am so sick from the pain that I have cancelled twice now due to I can't drive while I am like this.

I hate these damn Annie's and wish and pray that none of us have ever had to go through all this pain and suffering. I do pray for everyone on here and ask g-d to help us all through the different stages we are going though.

So as soon as I am back on my feet I will start posting again and please forgive me for not being here as much, I just can't seem to do it. I go on facebook and I can only stay on there for 5 minutes before I just want to shut everything down and go stay up another night. Yes I still have the same problem of insomnia they promised it would get better when I am 6 months post-op so it's been 4 now, but how am I supposed to deal with two more months of staying awake or sleeping one or two nights and knowing I will pay for the next night for sleeping.

They have given me so many things to take to help and none work and it's just so frustrating.

I am sorry if I just came out and complained this whole time, but you are the only group I know of that understands all the stages we go through and how tough it can be.

Take care and my love and prayers are out there for all of us..I hope to be back on and typing away again soon.

LaDawn

[Ging]

LaDawn, don't worry about posting on here, you know what, this is a place for support and you have given plenty and will again. I leave on occasion (sp) but never log out because I can't remember my pass word and don't know where I stored it and don't know how to get a new one if I mess up.
Depression, ah yes, we do have some who get that stage and it lingers for awhile. I am one.I try to fine humor to deal with my fear(which is hard to do when your head feels like it is going to explode in your hands)
I only know that it helps me to make jokes about( MY ) head to lighten my worry.
I am so sorry you are still having the pain so bad and I know about the sleepless nights. I get so tired around ten AM and then again at three pm, it's like I have these little windows that I can live my life in. I refer to myself as MOSES on the all nighters, trying to find something quiet to do that won't wake the sleeping bear.You Just pop in and let us know how you are doing okay, you are one of my shining lights out there, so you be good to yourself, hugs and all the good stuff that goes with it, Ging

[Junebug]

LaDawn,

I was gone from the page for about a year. Mostly, because when I retired and moved, I didn't have high speed internet and the other reason was that I was suffering from deep deep depression most of the time. I couldn't concentrate and just thought about my problems all day. How unhappy I was. I certainly know what you are going through.

I found out that having myself on my mind all the time just made me more miserable, so I try every day to keep my mind on other things even if it is most difficult for me to do so.

One thing is for certain, this is the best place possible for us to come to when we are feeling scared, sad, and lonely.

I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you are feeling better each and every day.

*cg07

[shelscha]

Great to hear from you LaDawn. I sure hope you are feeling better soon. Just do your best, get through one day at a time. Take care and let me know if you need anything.
Shelly

[jacoco]

LaDawn, you have the greatest sense of humor! It won't stay gone much longer, I'm sure. I've been walking, trying to keep the black clouds at bay. It seems to help. Benadryl has been my close nighttime friend, allowing me to sleep when it seems like I can't. I hope your bright days return soon. You are in my prayers.
jacoco

[Whippet]

Hi LaDawn,

Sometimes we just have these long stretches where it takes more out of us to post than not to post. Whew, I understand that. Although, I've not been on here long I miss hearing from many of you and I wonder how you all are doing. I say that only to convey that you are cared for "right" where you are. I too, hope your bright days return soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Whippet

[Xtina M]

So glad to have you back again. I can so understand the depression; I'm just coming out of a bad one myself, and I know you just can't get motivated to do anything at all. But you have made a great step forward by posting on bt, and know that we do understand, even if we can't say why things happen as they do. Remember, your body has taken a huge assault with the surgery that you've had, and your emotions will have been all over the place both leading up to the surgery and following it, should we be surprised if you get depressed? We're here for you, and believe me, things will get better.

Hugs,
Christina

[Staci]

(((hugs))) LaDawn! I hear so many annie survivors talk about dealing with depression. I know Brian is, amongst other issues. I just wanted to offer my support. You need to do what is right for you and the board will always be here when you need it :)