It's Hump day!

[dizzy]

Hello to all of you who may be lurking around today! It's hump day and I have been worn out all day, unfortunately, my day is just starting!

I hope some will soon join us here and help us to make this an active forum again!

My oldest daughter isn't doing as well as I would like for her to be. Unfortunately, her cousin was recently busted for manufacturing a meth lab. This shocked her to no end. He was actually at a friends home that was busted, we had no idea he had gotten involved in this mess. She has always thought of him as her big brother, so here she is seeing "drugs are ruining the life of another person I love dearly."

I try to talk to her but sometimes I just don't have the right words to say! She's lost her dad, now her cousin. Her dad is still living but has very little to do with the kids, would rather have his drugs! So sad!

[Leeaelle]

Hi Dizzy ~ Gosh, I'm sorry your daughter has to deal with more hurt. It has to be hard to have "lost" her Dad to this disease. It probably won't be long until she will REALLY lose him to it ~ his body won't be able to take it for much longer. There are only 2 outcomes to addiction ~ getting clean or death.

I'm a recovering alcoholic, and i've just past 16 years clean/sober. Thank God that my Higher Power grabbed me and shook some sense into me before it was too late. My ex-husband died from emphysema and alcoholism. Now my oldest child ~ my son ~ is probably going to die of the same thing. He's been drinking since he was 18, and nothing we've tried can get him stop. So of course I went to Al-Anon and learned that I cannot do anything about it. But as you know it's hard watching someone kill themselves.

I hope your daughter goes to Al-Anon or Al-Ateen. It was a God-send to me. We need to learn that there's nothing we can do so that we don't carry around the guilt, thinking that we should have done more if something tragic happens.

[dizzy]

Thank you Leeaelle! I have checked into some groups in our local area, unfortunately, I may have to head down the road a bit to get her in an ala-teen program. For today, she is holding up good, and for today she is enjoying herself. I try to keep tabs on her moods on a daily basis.

If I could find a way for them to avoid "accidental" run ins with their dad I would be ok. It seems that is when things surface, and surface hard! The girls hear from him one day, and may not hear from him again for weeks. Then it seems he only calls to check for mail or some off the wall reason; it's not to say "hey kids, I love you! How are you?"... This makes me want to change their phone numbers and block his, only he calls randomly from different numbers so that would never work.

It's not that I don't want them to deal with these issues, because I very much do want them to. I know they need to! I just think that keeping his uncaring contact away from them only adds to their stress. Does this make sense?