Sept. 11 Roll Call

[houghchrst]

Sorry all, I know I haven't been exactly participating here. I am just stressed to the max and can't seem to find a way out from under it. I joined an online Al-Anon group and can't seem to keep up with them unless I sit at the puter 24/7. Not good for back and I am not the only one who uses it.

Steps 3 and 11 are my biggest problems so the above is not surprising.

I took my alcoholic brother to the doctor today. It was a post hospital check up. He spent a week there battling withdrawal after suffering from seizures when he went off of his vodka binge and back to just beer.

I didn't realize he was slightly buzzed until we got there and he started talking to another patient. I was not happy. Then he and the doc got into the whole you need to quit drinking and he played his little game with them about how he knows, it is going to kill him for sure, blah, blah, blah.

At one point his intern brought in two other higher ups to talk to him about his drinking. They offered him some medication to help him quit drinking and the intern said he had to ask his boss doc but I guess after talking to my brother the boss docs could see that he has no intention of quitting. He doesn't want to do AA because he thinks they are all faith based and he doesn't want God shoved down his throat. Just another excuse.

I wanted to punch him. I wanted to tell him to shut the hell up, he kept rambling about stupid stuff, while I just told the doc he has no intention of quitting just do what you are going to do so we can go.

I am not even going to bother to go in with him anymore. I will take him and sit in the waiting room. I saw enough the last two times so I am done.

I know that that all violates some Al-Anon rule. I got my book but have yet to read it. I just am so tired of listening to his crap, at least be honest about your sickness.

Alice I am so happy for you and especially for that baby. Your daughter should be very proud of herself. Baby has her mama, and as soon as she gets over her withdrawals, and her cravings she will be the mother she was meant to be.

Phil I am so glad you are here. I enjoy so much hearing from you.

I hope you all have a great evening and that more start chiming in.

[Leeaelle]

Bless your heart Christina. I KNOW how hard this is for you. i've been thru this whole scene with my son. It tears you up inside and you just want to strangle them because they just will NOT listen! They won't even TRY to see or hear what YOU have found thru AA.

Finally, after making myself half-crazed because of my son, I finally had enough and gave him to God. I had to. It was making me physically and emotionally/mentally sick. He still tries to lay the 'guilt trips' on me every chance he can, but I refuse to play his games anymore. When he calls and starts it again, I have to hang up. It makes me too ill.

You're going to have to put up a wall or set some boundaries, my dear friend. That's what I had to do. Otherwise, we continue to get walked on again and again, and hurt over and over. I know this is tearing you up, but it's time to let God handle your brother. It's a HARD thing to do ~ letting go is difficult, but once you do you can TRUST that God will do what's best.

I pray you find some peace in your life, sweetie. You sure do deserve it. Please start taking care of YOU, will ya? I do really worry about you!!! It's been way too long since you've felt really GOOD! Take care sweetie. Love, Lee

[Phil]

Hello Christine,

First, I want to remember the victims of 09/11 and IMHO, the on-going cover-up. We have criminals in our government!!


Christine, not a day goes by that I don't think about you. It's to bad we live so far apart. I am so sorry about your brother. I think the key word(s) are denial and rationalization. It's clear that he needs help and he's the one that has to make that decision. Perhaps though, just perhaps you can keep pushing him in a loving non-threatening way. The Doctor's are even willing to give him medication.

Baxk in 93 when I was taking as many as 18 pills a day I finally said enough and sought treatment. I don't think AA is necessarily religious. I never encountered any religion in AA though I only attended meetings for a short time.




I know you've been very stressed and have a lot on your plate. Again, I am so very sorry. You need to take it just one day at a time. You can only do so much in one day.

Please remember too that alcoholism is a disease. That might help you better deal with your brother. I'm sure I've told the story before....about my alcoholic room mate. He is now deceased. I've never seen anyone guzzle vodka out of a bottle before. The lies, stealing things, paying male prostitues, getting DUI's. He was also my boss at work. He was on salary and would put doen that he worked 60 hours for the week. In reality,
he was working 4 to 6 hours a day then hitting the bar...and pushing his work off on me.

I can't say that I miss in the least my old friends who were drug abusing alcoholics. Regarding what I said above, keep your sanity. Don't let him take you down the tubes with him.

- - - - -

Hello to Teddiebears, Lee, Alice and Patrick. It's good to see more of us posting here.


I don't always have a lot to say so a lot of the time I don't post. Whenever I see the "drug dealers" post here I immediately report it. I think it's a disgrace and immoral to post on an addiction forum advertising drugs for sale.


I'm glas to be here and enjoy reading everyone's posts.


Phil

[houghchrst]

Thanks Lee, if I didn't have to deal with him at all I could handle it. He and I were the closest siblings. Then I got sober and while we were still close he began to get worse.

Maybe he didn't get worse, maybe I just began to notice more even though he did drink more.

His rationale for drinking is what blows my mind. The things he tells himself and others for why he does not quit drinking is totally unrealistic. He refuses to acknowledge that he could be walking through the woods this winter to my mom's house and have a seizure and go into cardiac arrest or stroke and freeze to death. He would be out there for a couple of days before anyone really missed him.

He won't listen to anything about AA meetings, thinks they shove God down your throat and won't listen to otherwise. He had two experiences where it was court ordered and of course half of the people there were court ordered so all they could talk about was going out and getting a beer when the meeting was over. He never even got close to the heart of the meeting.

When I was doing outpatient we had people who weren't believers, people who were Native Americans people who came from all kinds of different faiths and we learned that you make your higher power whatever it takes that keeps you strong enough to get and stay clean, whether it be your family, God, Buddha or whatever your faith is in.

Phil I too wish we were closer. That stop by for coffee and a hug thing sounds good to me. I try so hard to remember that it is a disease. The thing I have a hard time dealing with is that it is self curing to a point and why when you have reached bottom do you not start reaching for help. For him he doesn't have any incentives. No wife and kids, no job, not ever really a home so maybe life is not incentive enough.

Alice I also wanted to apologize for taking your day. I know you said you were going to take Fridays to do Roll Call. I hope you can forgive me for stepping on your toes. I hope you are having a great weekend with your DD and GD.