i don't think so

[Cutter]

I just have to say that based on my years of online experience, and that experience is added to as the days pass, I've concluded that there's no way I'll ever feel comfortable opening up about my being "different" or "unique" and dealing with "The Healthcare Community" on a support board such as this one.

People are still fighting about whether or not it's even "sick" to be Gay or Lesbian, calling Bisexuals "fence sitters" and making Tranny jokes! How does that scream, "put your head on my shoulder!"?

[graymalkin]

Thank you, Cutter. Somebody needed to say it!

As for me, I'm bowing out of the LGBT forum altogether. There are too few of us posting, and too many straights giving opinions and asking questions.

It's too bad, because this could have been a good resource for us, if not a place where it was safe to be really personal, IMV.

My best to all of us,

gray

[Cutter]

It sucks, but I think that we have a long, long way to go to find what we truly need.

I just don't have the energy to keep fighting/arguing/educating anymore.

I'm tired of defending my existence.

It's best that I keep my bits of energy for those a little more... I dunno... evolved? They might be out there, somewhere, and if not, I have plenty of other problems to expend that energy on.

*sighs*

I'm just tired of fighting.

...and for that, I am ashamed. ...but I have to keep going, somehow, despite that. Just in case I happen to make a difference to someone.

It sucks... but in the end, it's worth it.

Been there.
Done that.
Know that.

I'll be lurking.

[AncientWolf]

I haven't seen those sorts of things here at Braintalk and I'm sorry you have. I hope I will still run into you in other places even though the forums we go to are different. I wish you well.

Namaste,

Daniel

[Cutter]

I'll be here lurking, but in so far as "opening up" is concerned, it probably won't happen.

I'm not really posting on other like-boards. Generally, I keep to my blog. I don't have a lot of energy to use on the more social aspects of the Internet, and message board communities take a lot of it.

If I see something here I can help out with, I'll try to, but there's just no way I'm going to toss out my own LGBT-related stuff. Not after my own experiences and not after reading much of what I have read. Life is just too short to help others to pour salt into your own wounds.

[graymalkin]

I understand why a curious straight person might post on this forum to ask a question, or even offer an opinion (although the latter is less justifiable IMO). As long as the post is respectful, I can handle a certain amount of that. But why a straight would keep coming back and posting multiple times is beyond me. This forum is clearly marked for LGBT folk's use. :confused:

Daniel, you probably haven't happened to see some of the nasty posts the mods deleted for us before BT went down.

I'll likely be lurking too, but I just don't have the heart for actively participating right now.

Janith

[AncientWolf]

I understand why a curious straight person might post on this forum to ask a question, or even offer an opinion (although the latter is less justifiable IMO). As long as the post is respectful, I can handle a certain amount of that. But why a straight would keep coming back and posting multiple times is beyond me. This forum is clearly marked for LGBT folk's use. :confused:

Daniel, you probably haven't happened to see some of the nasty posts the mods deleted for us before BT went down.

I'll likely be lurking too, but I just don't have the heart for actively participating right now.

Janith

I'm sorry to hear about that Janith (((((((((((((Janith))))))))))) Yeah, before the big crash I had gone a few months without Braintalk because the computer I was on would crash whenever I tried to come here. It is a shame that in this day and age we would be attacked in a forum that is intended for support. There is a time and a place for debate and political or religious ranting, but this is not the place and the time when one is at Braintalk is never the time. This is supposed to be only a place of healing and support. Disagreements, preaching, arguments, etc should be kept off the board. It's a real shame that some people feel the need to attack anyone here no matter how strongly they disagree with that person. Again, there is a time and a place for it and this is not it. I'm sorry it has driven you to just lurking gray because I have admired you for a long time and consider you one of my online friends. I hope you are well and hope that maybe we can reclaim this place as it was intended to be.

Namaste,

Daniel

[graymalkin]

Thank you, Daniel! I think of you as a friend too, and hope this forum can somehow become what we intended it to.

gray

[Coffeeholic]

I just have to say that based on my years of online experience, and that experience is added to as the days pass, I've concluded that there's no way I'll ever feel comfortable opening up about my being "different" or "unique" and dealing with "The Healthcare Community" on a support board such as this one.

People are still fighting about whether or not it's even "sick" to be Gay or Lesbian, calling Bisexuals "fence sitters" and making Tranny jokes! How does that scream, "put your head on my shoulder!"?


Two of my best friends are gay women.. i am married with children and have known them for nearly 15 years...
I am not ashamed of them and will gladly run and cuddle and kiss them on the cheek in the middle of the street..
You are not different in my eyes and i see my friends as women just like me but with a different lifestyle..
I hope that has come out right and if not my appologies:)

[AncientWolf]

Two of my best friends are gay women.. i am married with children and have known them for nearly 15 years...
I am not ashamed of them and will gladly run and cuddle and kiss them on the cheek in the middle of the street..
You are not different in my eyes and i see my friends as women just like me but with a different lifestyle..
I hope that has come out right and if not my appologies:)

It's nice to know there are decent folks out there still. Thanks for your words. Namaste, Daniel

[Cutter]

You are not different in my eyes and i see my friends as women just like me but with a different lifestyle..
I hope that has come out right and if not my appologies:)

Without writing a book, and hoping to not come across as rude, it is exactly this "attitude" which contributes to my not wanting to open up in places such as this one.

See... I'm not a "lifestyle", I'm a human being, and I am different. It is because of being different that I have been discriminated against by my society, and by the medical community, in ways which you will never be. It is my being different, something which I cannot change, which has served to open me up to abuse in the past, and which still makes me a target for the majority of those currently in the medical community.

I don't need to be viewed as "the same", I need to have my difference recognized and respected.

[AncientWolf]

Without writing a book, and hoping to not come across as rude, it is exactly this "attitude" which contributes to my not wanting to open up in places such as this one.

See... I'm not a "lifestyle", I'm a human being, and I am different. It is because of being different that I have been discriminated against by my society, and by the medical community, in ways which you will never be. It is my being different, something which I cannot change, which has served to open me up to abuse in the past, and which still makes me a target for the majority of those currently in the medical community.

I don't need to be viewed as "the same", I need to have my difference recognized and respected.

You have that right if you choose to be viewed as different. As a gay man who has been made to feel "different" all his life my choice is to accept her words in the spirit in which they were written. I don't want to be viewed as different because of my sexual orientation. Perhaps she chose the wrong word by saying "lifestyle" but semantics aren't that important to me when I can feel their intention was not negative in any way. My sexual orientation is only a very small part of who I am. I appreciate when people can see that as just a part of who I am and not the be all and end all of who I am and thus consider me on my own merits. That was the spirit in which I took her response. You have the right to see offense in it, but I doubt she intended any. I don't mean any disrespect to you Cutter and I can understand how a life of being discriminated against can make one feel "different" and see offense in a lot of places. I don't know what more I can say except that I hope you didn't take offense to anything I had to say. I never intend offense to anyone.

Namaste,

Daniel

[Cutter]

Daniel, when the average doctor examines you, the doctor does not immediately see you as a "Gay man", unless you chose to tell him beforehand that you are a Gay man.

When the average doctor examines me, I'm put in the position of having to answer the completely offensive and derogatory question, "What are you?"

This, I do not "choose". This is my reality.

A life full of dealing with discimination makes me different, and my body makes me different. Period.

[Lady Moonlight]

If you don't mind my imput...in the last 3 years, I have truly come to realize that I was bi. It wasn't the way I was "raised", but it is the way I am. But my "lifestyle" is straight. I'm married to a wonderful man who accepts my bisexuality and loves me no matter what. But I've made the choice to be monogamous with him, and will never again be with a woman (unless he dies, or we divorce). But that doesn't change who I am inside. It's unfair that sometimes straight people don't understand or that sometimes people persecute others for their differences. I don't think that's right at all. Every race, culture, religion, etc. has people that stand out and cause negative attention, but it's never right to generalize b/c of a handful of people. I'm "white" and "Christian" and "female" and "bisexual", but I would never want to be labeled and hated. No one has that right. No one is any better than anyone else. Anyways, I guess I'm just ranting. But even in other forums here where they don't know my sexuality, I still have a hard time opening up. Part of it is my own personal issues and some of it is...something else. I hope, cutter, that you will find the encouragement and support you need here at BT even if it's not in this forum. Anyways, take care. Sorry this rant is kind of long.

LM

[Leslie Joe]

Cutter...

in response to: Just in case I happen to make a difference to someone.

I have "shared" with you elsewhere that your words did make a difference, a very positive difference in a young man's life (my Godson)... continue on, please.

I continue to read your blog, (and several of his friends do as well) although I am "lurking", and will do so, as long as you continue to write it.

Respectfully, LJ

[KathyM]

I stumbled across this thread by accident. I don't belong here, but I used to check this forum when it first started. I had high hopes for this forum because I believe it's truly needed. However, it should NOT be used by straight people to gain insight/understanding into the gay world. Hope I don't offend anyone, but it should also not be used by straight people to get a pat on the back for knowing a gay person.

Cutter, I don't blame you for feeling discouraged. You shouldn't have to explain or defend yourself here. You also shouldn't have to pat anyone on the back for seeing you as a human being.

I hope you and the other members (Hi Gray and Daniel) will find the strength to stick around - or maybe play tag team if it's too much of a burden. It would be nice to know that newbies would find an understanding ear from someone who's been there, done that. If not, all they'll receive is silence - or a bunch of welcomes from straight people (not that it's bad, it's just weird).

[Cutter]

I stumbled across this thread by accident. I don't belong here, but I used to check this forum when it first started. I had high hopes for this forum because I believe it's truly needed. However, it should NOT be used by straight people to gain insight/understanding into the gay world. Hope I don't offend anyone, but it should also not be used by straight people to get a pat on the back for knowing a gay person.

Cutter, I don't blame you for feeling discouraged. You shouldn't have to explain or defend yourself here. You also shouldn't have to pat anyone on the back for seeing you as a human being.

I hope you and the other members (Hi Gray and Daniel) will find the strength to stick around - or maybe play tag team if it's too much of a burden. It would be nice to know that newbies would find an understanding ear from someone who's been there, done that. If not, all they'll receive is silence - or a bunch of welcomes from straight people (not that it's bad, it's just weird).

Thank you for you understanding, Kathy.

I've spent almost 8 years online "fighting this fight" and being there for others. I'm a little drained from all of it, at this point, and the MS monster is not allowing me to do very much either.

My blog address is listed here. I can just hope that maybe people will get something out of reading that. The "one on one" thing just isn't something I can offer anymore, as I'm "one on one"ing dozens of other people already.

There's only so much I can give.

[AncientWolf]

Thank you for you understanding, Kathy.

I've spent almost 8 years online "fighting this fight" and being there for others. I'm a little drained from all of it, at this point, and the MS monster is not allowing me to do very much either.

My blog address is listed here. I can just hope that maybe people will get something out of reading that. The "one on one" thing just isn't something I can offer anymore, as I'm "one on one"ing dozens of other people already.

There's only so much I can give.


I'm still around and will be here as often as I can. I love all my dear friends here and I hate to see the ignorance and misunderstanding getting my friends down. I can understand how it could be overwhelming. We will continue to be, but ignorant people will continue to be also. Unfortunately it's unavoidable. We'll just have to be each other's strength now and then. I'm here for you.

Namaste,

Daniel

[Brenda45]

I do not belong here either, stumbled in and was curious.
my 2 cents, God Bless you all and stay happy and proud of who you are!
God believes in us ALL!
Cutter, I can soooooo relate to your M.S. Keep on keeping...hopefully there's a cure around the corner.

[WanderingScholar]

I'm straight and married,and have no problem with anyone who chooses an alternate lifestyle, or is born that way, or whatever the latest trendy way of putting it across is now. I've got a cousin in Dallas who is a lesbian, is married to a lesbian and they adopted children as a couple..I'm cool with that.. I used to know a woman who was a TS..I call her a woman because that's how she wanted to be thought of..I was cool with it and accepted her as she was, and will do the same for others as well..Save the slaps on the back for some other yahoo that likes that sort of thing..

Insights into Gay/Lesbian lifestyles? Bugger that..Gives Oprah something to prattle on about.. I used to hang out in an all night coffeeshop/diner that had a revolving population of everybody:Straights,Gays,Lesbians,Crossdressers,Tr ansgenders,
Cowboys (This is in Texas after all),Old Hippies,Goth types,Hackers,College students,etc.,ad nauseum..After that, I pretty much accept a lot of different viewpoints, but have to disagree with some of you on one point..

Now before you get all belligerent and drag out the flamethrower, here goes -A forum is a public place( In the Greek sense of the word and one I adhere to..) where people of all types can come together and discuss whatever's on their mind..If you wanted this to be a "private" forum, you should discuss it with the mods or start your own exclusive website..I'm new here,but am a veteran of more Forums,Message Boards and Chatrooms than I care to think about, and always browse my way around inside of each and every one of them just to get a feel of the place,hence my being here and now, posting this..

(Also,Before anyone cries foul against me and decides to make use of the proverbial flamethrower, I'm here on these boards because I'm dealing with the after effects of a stroke, and decided to make a journey here to have a look-see at the suggestion of one of the members here, after having exchanged correspondence with them elsewhere, and to be honest, this is not the end-all be-all of forums, so if I disappear down a rabbit hole, it's because I've found something more interesting to do and if I get banned for saying what I think, so what?, same thought still applies..)..

I choose to wander where I will, and to learn what I will about all things..

Later on..Scholar.

[AncientWolf]

I'm straight and married,and have no problem with anyone who chooses an alternate lifestyle, or is born that way, or whatever the latest trendy way of putting it across is now. I've got a cousin in Dallas who is a lesbian, is married to a lesbian and they adopted children as a couple..I'm cool with that.. I used to know a woman who was a TS..I call her a woman because that's how she wanted to be thought of..I was cool with it and accepted her as she was, and will do the same for others as well..Save the slaps on the back for some other yahoo that likes that sort of thing..

First of all, coming into an lgbt forum and talking about people "choosing" an "alternate lifestyle" is just flat out wrong. Most people do not choose who they're attracted to or not attracted to.



Now before you get all belligerent and drag out the flamethrower, here goes -A forum is a public place( In the Greek sense of the word and one I adhere to..) where people of all types can come together and discuss whatever's on their mind..If you wanted this to be a "private" forum, you should discuss it with the mods or start your own exclusive website..I'm new here,but am a veteran of more Forums,Message Boards and Chatrooms than I care to think about, and always browse my way around inside of each and every one of them just to get a feel of the place,hence my being here and now, posting this..

A forum is a public place, agreed. However, many forums are specialty forums for people with certain interests or issues. I wouldn't go into a public religious forum and start telling everyone they're wrong or bad and similarly we don't want people coming into this forum and telling folks they're sinners and going to hell or diseased or things of that nature. While you did not say any of that (despite your poor choice of wording in "choice" and "lifestyle") these things are mainly what people were originally referring to. Braintalk forums are for folks with neurological problems to recieve support and the lgbt forum is for lgbt person with neurological conditions to recieve support for the unique issues we all face in the medical community and beyond. Personally, I don't mind heterosexuals coming into the forum and being supportive or even asking respectful questions. However, many people in this forum are uncomfortable with all the questions as they are solely here to seek support. I respect that feeling as we all come to these forums to get what we need. Ultimately it's up to the moderators. Unfortunately this forum has fallen into disuse because of many of these issues. I don't understand why anyone would feel a need to go to a place of support and cause problems.



(Also,Before anyone cries foul against me and decides to make use of the proverbial flamethrower, I'm here on these boards because I'm dealing with the after effects of a stroke, and decided to make a journey here to have a look-see at the suggestion of one of the members here, after having exchanged correspondence with them elsewhere, and to be honest, this is not the end-all be-all of forums, so if I disappear down a rabbit hole, it's because I've found something more interesting to do and if I get banned for saying what I think, so what?, same thought still applies..)..

I choose to wander where I will, and to learn what I will about all things..

Later on..Scholar.

I doubt anyone questioned your right to be at Braintalk. It's not anyone's right to know the ins and outs of your medical conditions unless you choose to tell them so I always operate under the assumption that folks in these forums have some issue they're dealing with and hopefully are getting the help they need. This is not the be all and end all of forums, but many of us really appreciate this place, and some of us for years. Braintalk has been a neverending wealth of support to me and to many people in dealing with issues we have. For me, I've mainly gotten help with issues surrounding my Epilepsy and my mom's Parkinson's. I was excited to see the lgbt forum when it finally appeared (and I thank grey again for trying to get this going) but unfortunately because of posts like I described it has faltered and I'm left without a community that understands both the issues I deal with as a gay man and the neurological conditions and how those things interplay. Shame on those (not specifically the poster to whom I'm replying) who decided to take it upon themselves to come in here and make this an unfriendly place for those of us who could really make use of this forum.

The forum is still here and hopefully it will pick up again and become what we originally intended it to be.

Namaste,

Daniel

[annabel]

I just started coming around here again after a long absence and I happened upon this thread.

I am so sorry you don't have anywhere you feel safe or comfortable posting. It's really sad that people have not developed a "live and let live" attitude. I'm trying to instill that attitude into my two young daughters. When my oldest came to me because her friends dad said two gay people marrying is wrong, I sat her down to explain that love is love and it doesn't matter if a girl loves a boy, or a boy loves a boy, or a girl loves a girl. We should just grab onto love and hold it tight because it seems it's hard to find everywhere.

As far a straight people asking questions, I can only speak for myself. I probably wouldn't ask here; I'd as a personal friend any questions I didn't understand about being gay/bi, etc., but I can only hope that some people asking are merely trying to understand other peoples orientation or views, not because of a sick curiousity.

I sure hope I didn't step on any toes. My biggest attitude in life is to live and love happily.

[fastlane]

I can't believe i finally found a place where the things i usually focus on everyday (being a lesbian & living with M.S) even if i desire not to, and already there's talk of everyone leaving. What is it me? I just found ya'll. at one time i had to speak to the people in the M.S. forum (which was great) but a couple of no replys, long enough resulted in my turning off my computer.But then I moved and thought maybe I would see what was happening. WOW what a major change. i had to hunt everywhere and finally found BT was no more. Plus we had our own site (so i opened more champagne) and then i read more and as always with me. Everybod'ys leaving. Please tell me I am wrong. fastlane

[fastlane]

hello Scholar,
sorry to say that this all has worn me, except to say "Welcome" and "HOWDY FELLOW TEXAN.

[Cutter]

I've been telling "my story" online for a very long time now. I suppose that's one of the reasons why I don't feel so much like writing too much about any of it anymore these days.

Anyone is welcome to read it. There's a lot there to read, and I add to it daily. (It's a rather large project that I've been working on.)

I've been told that much of it is well worth the time and energy to read. (I'm flattered by comments like those, of course.)

Anyway, here's a link (http://followsravens.blogspot.com/), in case the one in my signature doesn't work at some point in the future.