what do you do to make your life worthwhile?

[Mark N]

I ask this question because I have a positive outlook but as I find myself becoming more limited I am wondering what I can do to be more than a doorstop. Before I was active enough that even without work I could interact with people enough to know I was a part of their life. Now I find that I am less a part of even my family's life as they can't count on me for things.

I still do some jobs around the house times that I am doing good enough. I know that my wife and kids still count on me to be a rock for them knowing I will support them and buck them up when needed. I just can't be aware enough any more to do that more than now and then.

So I am wondering when you find yourself much more limited than the past, what do you do to stay relevant? I know that each of us are at different levels so this isn't a post to say what I or anyone else should be doing but one to get each of us to think of ways that our lives still count.

[Smithc]

Tough question.

I have a headset which allows me to talk on the phone for long times easily. Sometimes when I feel like I need to 'do' more - I call my family and friends, I have been avoiding.

I will think on this and post again.

[suede]

Mark,

This is problem I deal with on a daily basis and truthfully I just have not found an answer to it.

Since I was old enough to remember my life has always been about survival, emotionally and financially. I was at long last at a place in my life where I believe it was all about to change and BAM what I thought was a simple slip and fall change my life forever.

After a lifetime of severe abuse who would have thought a little fall would do this.

So as I was saying I had at last thought life was going to be about living and loving and enjoying, I had plans to go to school and at long last had finally taken a couple of vacations and was enjoying life. I was doing some volunteering at the local domestic violence shelter and life was looking good.

Now I am back to just trying to survive once again emotionally and financially and this time I can not even work to help with either problem.

In answer to your question, I have no answer but I am struggling to find one.

Linda

[Ponygirl]

:DComing to B./T. to hang-out with all of my friends is what does it
for *me*!:D:D

Phyllis:D

[Mark N]

Phyllis coming to BT is a big part of making my life worthwhile. Without people to help and to be helped by then it would be hard to justify living.

Linda, it is a shame you had such bad luck with having your fall occur when it did. It is hard to get through life when each day is about survival and we need to find some worthwhile thing. It is why I am so thankful for my family because I can always look at them and know I have a purpose in life.

Smith, it is good to hear you can contact people and keep up with their life and let them keep up with your life. I hope you do come back with more because I think it is important for me to hear of different ideas. I don't really use the phone any more because I have trouble hearing over the phone any more and there is no real treatment for tinnitus.

I hope others come to give us ways to make our lives worthwhile when we are limited in our lives.

[A.K.]

Oh Mark, I understand exactly where you are in your thinking patterns when this question comes up. I am now at a little over five years of intractable pain, however my life has been one thing after the other since birth and I just turned 48. I have had short gaps of life where I was truly healthy, fully on go and really able to enjoy my life to the fullest.

Sometimes I am thankful for those periods but to be 100% honest with you at other times they seem like a cruel memory that is not going to obtainable again, I am told.

I know, and have always know that we have one day at a time to live this life. No guarantees of anything, especially time here. This my friend is the very essence of what makes my life worthwhile. It is my faith.

I have faith to believe that I and everyone will live for all eternity and I believe because I have chosen to believe in Jesus as the Son of God and the One who died in my place for my sins that I will live each moment of the longest part of my life in a perfect and pain free body. *boogie

I know that death will probably not come soon for me as ALL women on both sides of my family live to be 85 or over and 95-97 seems to be the prime going home age:rolleyes: However, the knowledge of what I have waiting on me and the daily conversations I have with the Lord about it and my prayers to Him to help me get through this all with some grace and dignity until then...well they are priceless!

I do still get to go to church once or twice a month and I very much miss the regularity of my three times a week that I used to go. Most of all I miss teaching God's Word to the women in my class. That was so rewarding.

I do get bonus days ever once in a while when one of them even after all this time will call and ask a question about something we studied or some reference I used in class. At least I know I left some lasting impression somewhere.

You may not remember but I never had any children of my own so that makes talking about leaving here easier than for parents I know. My husband gets sad when we talk about it but he understands completely as I have always told him the only way our relationship would work is if we were both #2 in each others life. God has always been #1 and it works great for us.

Having a greater love to look forward to can make any pain level easier to deal with. THanks for asking!
Blessings, A.K.

[Ponygirl]

:)Glad, we're in agreement!!!

Phyllis:)

[Mark N]

AK, faith is what gets me through the times when life piles on and I am feeling particularly unable to do much. I understand what you mean about the days you feel good being cruel reminders. I have been fortunate enough to accomplish great things in my professional and personal life before my spinal issues became too much. I can understand how you with only a day now and then or several days would feel that they are just reminders of what you can't do. Thanks for your response as I know for many of us, our belief in Christ helps make the bad days better.

One thing that helps me is to take advantage of a good day and get outside to enjoy the weather, even if it is to only sit in the porch swing. One advantage of the swing is I see and talk to people that walk by which is an advantage of our small town.

I had someone ask exactly which direction I was going with this. I am talking about what makes life relevant to you. As many of the normal things we do that connect us with a life that is worthwhile, what do you do to replace those things you can't do any longer.

[Smithc]

One thing that helps me is to take advantage of a good day and get outside to enjoy the weather, even if it is to only sit in the porch swing. One advantage of the swing is I see and talk to people that walk by which is an advantage of our small town.

That sounds like it should be on your agenda as much as possible. So many folks and kids are lonely and maybe a hi from you will turn into a visit, and b4 you know it - you have really touched someone's life. I'd sit out there at some set time, like when the kids go to school or the housewives go to run errands. After a while, it might seem like a real life soap opera where you can step in and help.

I am a bit limited in what I can do and so I often feel like what I can offer others is my empathy, my appreciation, my willingness to listen, and on a good day, my wisdom.

Thanks Mark, this could be a very inspirational thread.

[Mark N]

Smith, you are right about a conversation turning into helping someone. I can only sit out for about 15 minutes but I try to say hi and enjoy the sky, trees, and wonderful atmosphere. Thanks for the input as keeping contact with people is important especially when our pain isolates us.

Another thing I do is to write letters to the paper for the opinion page. I have received several calls for a couple of the letters I have had printed. It keeps me in touch with the community and sending it by email I can do it at my own pace.

[Karenica]

When I have my good moments it's easy I just enjoy everything, but when my bad days hit me, it's staying in contact with friends, and coming on here, and just talking to my husband. I will always wish I had my old life back the way it was 15 years ago I think of those days often when I was healthy and I could do anything, now I'm limited and life has taken on a new meaning, I appreciate more of the little things in life now then I think I would have if I was healthy, I don't take things for granted anymore.
Karenica

[Mark N]

Karen, I used to think about back to the time I was healthy but that has gone by the wayside. You are so right about enjoying the little things in our lives. Those things are a lifeline any more and in some ways has been a good change for me. I just wish I didn't have to suffer so much with CP as I was willing to enjoy the little things before:D.

Any others out there with things that make your life seem worthwhile?