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teddiebears
09-04-2009, 03:14 AM
Hello everyone.

I would like to share something that I did last night because I'm feeling very good about it. I went to a bar to help my neighbor celebrate her birthday and I drank nothing but water the whole time I was there. :) Nearly everyone around me was drinking some kind of alcohol and it didn't bother me one bit!!! Absolutely no desire to have a drink whatsoever. And I definitely wasn't feeling ANY urges to smoke either! YUCK! lol Although the cigarette smoke wasn't TOO bad, after awhile it started to negatively affect my breathing, so I decided it was time to come home! :)

Forgive me for tooting my own horn a little bit here, but I was very pleased to discover how completely unaffected I was by being around people drinking alcohol like that. :D

As far as the car accident, I'm feeling much better and I would say I've fully recovered. I am feeling just a little stiffness in my back and one hip, but I felt that prior to the accident so I'm not terribly concerned about that. ;) ;)

Here's a reading for today from Affirmations for the Inner Child by Rokelle Lerner -

Today I will follow the rules of natural order.

The world is an orderly place. Day follows night, season follows season. Every living thing exists within the rules of a natural order.

Nature provides signals that help all living things follow the rules of survival. In spring, leaves "read" a light signal that tells the plant to flower. Sometimes nature gives more than one signal so that a plant does not sprout on a warm autumn day before the winter frost.

As a child, I did not learn to read the signals of my physical needs. I learned not to feel hunger or tiredness, so I did not eat or rest at the proper times.

In recovery, I'm learning to read the signals of my body. Now I respond early rather than waiting for a growling stomach or extreme fatigue. Today I will structure my day around the needs of my body. I will follow the rules of the natural order.

**********
In recent months (years?) I've found myself 'slipping' in and out of some old patterns in this area. Trying to follow the "natural order" seems to have been pushed aside by me 'turning a blind eye' to any personal "signals". I am not sleeping at the right times. I am not eating at the proper times (nor in a very healthy way). As a matter of fact, I often feel very incapable of taking care of myself in all the ways that I truly should.

I know that when I'm feeling depressed I tend to lose sight of the "natural order" simply because my thoughts and feelings in general are very disconnected and jumbled. I have a hard time doing anything at all, and certainly not following some sort of logical progression. :rolleyes:

Sort of like right now. I'm having a really hard time collecting my thoughts and getting them down on the page in a way that seems logical or clear to me, so I can only imagine how disjointed and unclear it will be to anyione who reads this. :(


What does this mean to you??



Have a peaceful and addiction free day! :)

batsinwonderland
09-04-2009, 10:10 PM
Following natural order is something I try to incorporate into my life today. Before I lived recovery, I was rebellious and disorganized. My mom always pushed order and I pushed back! Today, I thrive on routine. My mom was right about that. Boundries for myself and those around me actually make me feel content. Who'd a thunk it! Rebellious me likes rules! Miracles never cease!
The first healthy routine I had was going to work. That was good. $ helps. That was not enough, however. Social acceptance does not equil recovery. I really got somewhere when I got into the habit of going to meetings daily and getting a routine with my sponsor to work the steps. Then I got into service, and followed the 12 traditions and 12 concepts of service. Now, when I go to the Women's Prison to bring in a meeting of NA, I am not offended by the rules. I understand those rules keep the women safe. Anyone who knows me knows what a miracle it is that I live within healthy boundries today.
I do NA now, but I did AA too, in the beginning. I remember in the big book it says something about all us actors trying to be directors. It doesn't work to be a self will run riot. Thank GOD for the 12 steps teaching me a NEW WAY TO LIVE!:)

houghchrst
09-06-2009, 03:34 PM
Chaos is the word that describes our household. Especially during summer when school is out and there are no regular bedtimes or schedules. School will start in two days and I look forward to having a bit of a routine again.

Depression for me is a major hindrance also. I am struggling right now and I seem to not be able to get out of it. I am hoping it is very much med related.

Phil
09-06-2009, 08:22 PM
Hello Everyone,

I am not in the best of moods. In many ways I am trapped and no of no way to escape. I was going to post something recovery oriented but I difn't bother to look it up.

I broke my glasses and went to CVS and purchased another pair which ended up not being strong enough....so if I make some typo's it's because I can't see the key's and screen very well.

I'll post when I'm feeling better.

Cheers, Phil