Joke (includes swearing) You were warned

[Jolene]

Subject: Damn
>
>
>A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the window, "I
>want to open a damn checking account."
>The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have
>misunderstood you. What did you say?"
>"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account now!"
>"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this
>bank."
>The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform
>him of her situation.
> The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul
>language They both return to the window and the manager asks the old
>geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
>"There is no damn problem," the man says. I just won $200 million bucks in
>the damn lottery and I want to put my damn money in this damn bank."
>"I see," says the manager, "and is this bi--h giving you a hard time?"
>
>

[bewolf]

And I bet they were not the original swear words used in this joke :D

[Jolene]

Wellllll..... I plead the 5th... Here's another one...

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy
farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little
compensation. When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores
in approximately the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for
the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk
is best of all...." She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy
farms ... I can do this! She sent in her entry, and about a week later, a
black limo drove up in front of her house ... a man got out and said,
"Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $2,000, even though we will not be able to use it..." Here is her entry:


"Carnation milk is best of all, not **** to pull, no hay to haul, no buckets
to wash, no **** to pitch, just poke a hole in the son-of-a-b--ch."

[The Dude]

Hehehe,very good!!

[Jennybean]

Those were great! Here's one for ya. I thought it'd be safe to post here since it contains mild swearing. Enjoy!

A little boy told his school teacher that he had found a cat over the weekend, but it was dead. "How did you know it was dead," the teacher asked. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," the little boy replied innocently. "You did what," the teacher asked in an shocked voice. Then boy replied, "You know, I went 'psssst' in his ear and he didn't move."

[Jolene]

That's cute. :D