Roll call August 19th

[houghchrst]

I see what ya'll did. Nobody posted just so I would have to. Now ya'll know I am not very good at this.

Not feeling so good lately. kind of depressed and out of sorts.

A lot of stinkin' thinkin' this last week. Just so much going on and I am so tired. I just can't seem to get a break. It is always something.

Sometimes I just get so tired of life. Then I have to try to find some gratitude, lol, well I do have my health but that is all shot to hell. I do have a roof over my head, two doors down from crackhead prostitutes. I have family that loves me. My mother is an alkie so I rarely see her anymore, my bf and I are mad at each other, gee me and my two boys get along. At least until one of them is told no.

Wait!!! The weather is beautiful today!!! Sun, not too hot!! My ferret Sweetpea is still alive today and is taking to the force feeding better despite being half dead on saturday and sunday. My bipolar teen is doing better than he has in months despite that he is not taking any medication. I think I can get through the day with that.

Where is everybody? See now you all wanted to keep this forum alive and then ya'll bailed.

Come on folks!!!

[Leeaelle]

Hi Dear Christina ~ Bless your heart, you have your hands full, don't ya! I do know what ya mean tho about sometimes getting tired of 'life.'

With all that you have going on, I imagine it DOES get hard to remember to be thankful. Tearing the hair out would be more of an activity I'd be doing! :D We've gotta get you out of that stinkin thinkin! Thank the good Lord, I haven't had any of that in years! And it's NOTHING that i've been doing. It must be the good Lord working FOR me. And I can't figure out WHY I don't think like that cause my daughter lives with me, and she always thinks she's right; my teenage granddaughter of course lives here and she has the mouth on her that I'd like to smack from here to California; I'm housing their stupid dog that sheds 365 days a year, and it's BLACK thick hair all over everything; and my daughter is a SLOB!! So all in all, my house should be condemned!!! LOL. I think I'll run away.

It's HOT here. Last winter I said I wasn't going to gripe about the heat this summer, but I lied. It's too HOT. I hate turning on the A/C cause I feel all 'closed -in' and prefer the windows open, but not today!!!

Well, nothin new. Same old, same old. Hope all are ok. And Christina ~ put that pretty smile back on your face and maybe go to a meeting??? That always does me good. Take care everyone. Hugs, Lee

[outlaw2]

*ackRolled out of bed into roll call.
Hi Christina, gratitude is a good start to any day. Thanks for reminding me.
Hi Lee. You are the 12 step poster child and if that sounds sarcastic its not.
You always have good advice.
The hit a meeting and forget about yourself for awhile is a terriffic start.
I'm kinda messsed up from the pain drugs I'm on. I don't like going to the meetings like this but it definatly keeps my thinking on the right page.
It's been 2 weeks since my neck surgury and the afterwear is beating me down quite well.
Still searching for Gratitude. Maybe I should write a list on post its.
No sleep last night and I can really tell.
anyhow catch up with you all later.

[batsinwonderland]

Hi! I am grateful for my recovery. I am almost 10! I got clean when my daughter was 10, so my recovery time almost equils my using in her life. Maybe soon she will start imitating my recovery! I went to the Prison bring in a NA meeting Sunday. That makes me grateful I am not visiting a family member, or living there myself. Sometimes life seems to suck, but it is nothing a relapse wouldn't make worse. I think if I keep breathing in and out, tomorrow will be different. Ya, just hang on and HP will get me through.:D

[teddiebears]

Christina - it's nice seeing you post a roll call. You did a great job! Thanks! :)

Very sorry to hear you've been going through a rough patch. :( I can certainly relate to that - at least on some level.

As Lee said, I think from time to time most of us have periods when we feel "tired of life" as we know it. :( And, unfortunately, I think recovering addicts of any kind are more susceptible to those episodes of stinking thinking simply because it's often those feelings that had a hand in us seeking out our 'addiction of choice' - if you know what I mean?

I really appreciated you sharing your process while looking for gratitude. It was a lot like the proverbial 'looking for a silver lining in every dark cloud'. lol Thank you so much for the nice reminder. ;)

You wrote -
"Where is everybody? See now you all wanted to keep this forum alive and then ya'll bailed.

Come on folks!!!"

I agree 100% with that. This is, and has been, the problem on this forum for a long time. People seem to pop in for a "minute" and post how sad or disappointed they are that the forum isn't busy like it used to be, but then each person slips away and doesn't bother to make the effort to post again right away or to start a roll call so that there will be activity here. :rolleyes: :(

As we all know, it takes a certain amount of commitment on each and everyone's part to breathe life into these forums, and it will take a bit more with this one because it seems to have all but died ever since that first "crash". :eek:

I know that I've been very negligent with posting here recently and I'd like to apologize for that. Sadly, I must admit to myself (and to everyone here) that I haven't really been working hard enough to push myself "through" my depressive feelings and to post here regularly. In all honesty I have allowed myself to give in (give up?) and just wallow in my depressed state. I haven't even been attempting to remind myself how much it truly does help my overall mood, not to mention my ability to cope/deal with my depression, when I actually MAKE the effort to post roll calls or responses like this one. :(

It's simply too easy for me to 'let it slide' when it comes to posting or, to put it more accurately, not posting on this forum and from what I've been reading from others, I guess I'm not alone in that respect. :( There's a string of "excuses" for not trying harder to post, but I don't really have a very good 'reason'. :(

So, with that in mind, I would like to propose making a pact with any and/or all of the 'regulars' from years ago who have posted here recently expressing a desire to see more activity here. How about if we all make an agreement to post here at least 3 days a week? And how about agreeing that we each take the initiative to post a roll call at least once a week, so no one person feels "responsible" for doing it every day?

I'm suggesting this because it just seems like if we all make a commitment to each other (not the forum), it's possible we would be more likely to work a little harder at bringing this forum back to life. It might not ever be as lively as some of us remember it, but it definitely could be more alive than it's been for a VERY long time. ;) Does anyone agree with my thinking? Do any of you think this is a good idea on any level at all? Or does it just sound like an outlandishly crazy notion? :confused: :confused:

Also - I'm not trying to exclude any newcomers or lurkers in this "pact" - you folks are welcome to 'commit' as well. ;) I just wanted to reach out to the people I know and who have been feeling the same disappointment about the lack of activity here.

Wow - I never intended to ramble on like this and I certainly didn't start out with the idea that I'd end up going in this direction but I guess I've been thinking about it for awhile and reading Christina's comments just gave me the push I needed. :rolleyes:

By the way, speaking only for myself, I personally will make a commitment to everyone to work on posting readings at least 2 days each week. :)

Since I've rambled on so long, I just want to make a quick shout out to Lee, outlaw and bats - I agree with what you all said about "gratitude". I guess I've been "slipping" in this area and I am grateful for the reminders from each of you. ;)


I look forward to hearing what any of you think about my suggestion. :) Thanks.

Have a peaceful night!!!

[batsinwonderland]

Okay, 3 days a week and I will take Friday's roll call. I will start today. (It is still Friday here)

[batsinwonderland]

BumptedeeBump :D

[teddiebears]

BumptedeeBump :D

Thanks Very Much!!

Sorry I haven't followed through on my own suggestion about making the commitment here, but I'm so glad you guys have picked up on it and kept it going. :D :D That's great!!

In my roll call for Monday, I'll explain what's been happening with me that kept me away.

Thanks again guys!! It really put a big smile on my face :) to see the roll calls and posts when I was finally able to get back here.