Aspigander
08-05-2009, 10:34 PM
I normally hang out on the autism forum, but I do have plenty of anxiety, so figured I'd poke my head in here, hoping folks who deal with anxiety might have some bright ideas. Here's something I posted on the autism forum a few hours ago:
I just paid my rent. The same thing I do every month and have done for the last 5 years. It's nothing new. Logically, and from experience, I know this is a very safe thing to do. No tragedy will befall me (well at least it's unlikely lol). I've had 5 years to get this down to an art. 5 years to figure out that nothing bad is going to happen.
Same with going out to meet my mom in her van, really. Or my dad in his SUV. I know those are 'safe' trips, and sometimes make those trips and have for the 5 years I've lived here.
And yet, every time I have to step out of the apartment, I get so darn anxious. I literally sat around with my rent check in my hand for almost an hour before I could bring myself to go deliver it. I got it done, but am still slightly anxious that I'd just been out of my apartment. I took a few deep breaths before heading out, which is probably what kept the anxiety at bay enough that I was able to make myself do it. But you know, I'd love to be able to do basic things like that without anxiety making it a drag. I know to some extent, anxiety is a good thing, it's what keeps you alive in an emergency. But there was no emergency here that warranted the anxiety. I'd love to not get so anxious every time I do something I've done for 5 years.
As I was getting back into my building, it dawned on me that this is a nice day out, and I didn't even take that trip to the office as a chance to stand, look around for a moment, and enjoy the fresh air and surroundings. It was all about diving back into my little cave, as my mom calls it.
I'm kind of thinking: "Geez, Lauren, can't you do the most basic task without all that anxiety, and take a moment to enjoy the surroundings while you're about it?" But it's just all about dragging myself and making myself do that basic task, and getting it done as darn fast as humanly possible so I can get back inside where it is 'safe' (even if logically I know I'm safe anyway).
Why does the anxiety make the simplest things so difficult?
Anyone have similar issues?
I just paid my rent. The same thing I do every month and have done for the last 5 years. It's nothing new. Logically, and from experience, I know this is a very safe thing to do. No tragedy will befall me (well at least it's unlikely lol). I've had 5 years to get this down to an art. 5 years to figure out that nothing bad is going to happen.
Same with going out to meet my mom in her van, really. Or my dad in his SUV. I know those are 'safe' trips, and sometimes make those trips and have for the 5 years I've lived here.
And yet, every time I have to step out of the apartment, I get so darn anxious. I literally sat around with my rent check in my hand for almost an hour before I could bring myself to go deliver it. I got it done, but am still slightly anxious that I'd just been out of my apartment. I took a few deep breaths before heading out, which is probably what kept the anxiety at bay enough that I was able to make myself do it. But you know, I'd love to be able to do basic things like that without anxiety making it a drag. I know to some extent, anxiety is a good thing, it's what keeps you alive in an emergency. But there was no emergency here that warranted the anxiety. I'd love to not get so anxious every time I do something I've done for 5 years.
As I was getting back into my building, it dawned on me that this is a nice day out, and I didn't even take that trip to the office as a chance to stand, look around for a moment, and enjoy the fresh air and surroundings. It was all about diving back into my little cave, as my mom calls it.
I'm kind of thinking: "Geez, Lauren, can't you do the most basic task without all that anxiety, and take a moment to enjoy the surroundings while you're about it?" But it's just all about dragging myself and making myself do that basic task, and getting it done as darn fast as humanly possible so I can get back inside where it is 'safe' (even if logically I know I'm safe anyway).
Why does the anxiety make the simplest things so difficult?
Anyone have similar issues?