missing my guy [Archive] - BrainTalk Communities

alizesmom

08-01-2009, 01:20 AM

It's been a little over 3 weeks since Alize died and I just plain miss him. Like all of our kids, he is in a better place, happy and healthy but that doesn't do much for the hole in my heart. I still find myself being caught by surprize when I realize he's not here. Since March I cried and agonized as I watched him slip away little by little. I was proud of the fight he put up and horrified at the toll it took on him. I admit that I prayed that it be done so he would no longer hurt and then, it was done and he was free. My stress and agonizing left only to be replaced by a sadness and an anger that I can't describe. I can't and won't wish him back but I so miss his smell, his lovely brown eyes and that smile which would light the world. Karen

moose53

08-01-2009, 10:55 AM

I know, ((((((Karen)))))),

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/moose53/MINIS/HUGS/diddl-maus-044.gif

All of us in Child Neuro miss him, too. Not in the same way, of course; but, still ... your wonderful little boy brought a light to all our lives.

It's so hard to give up someone who was so special in your life. I know: my brother committed suicide almost 43 years ago. The ache is not here anymore for me. But, the knowledge that my life would have been very different if I still had my brother in it is always there.

The first year is always so hard. First Christmas without... First Spring without... First 4th of July without... It aches unbelievably.

One day, though, you'll remember something that you shared with Alize and you'll smile ... that smile will be the start of the healing.

It's hard to believe now that the only thing that you have to give up is the pain. But, it's true. The memories and the dreams become an unbelievably comforting presence in your life. I still dream about my brother. And smile.

You might want to read this (when you're ready): http://butterflywebsite.com/discover/bfliesandrainbows.cfm. Everyone that I've shared this with has had a similar experience, once they've learned what to watch out for.

Be good to yourself, Karen. You will be blessed for being such a wonderful Mother to such a beautiful, special little boy.

I truly believe that the ones who get to leave this realm early have accomplished all that they needed to here. I think of all the special, angelic people that will be there to welcome Alize and to support him and to guide him until you and he can be reunited.

Talk to people about Alize. Tell them what a special little boy he was. Maybe, get yourself a blank book and right down all the wonderful memories that you have. There are gonna be people in your life later on who will benefit by knowing Alize through your words.

Stay strong, Karen. There is a lot of love and strength and caring in the world that surrounds you and the rest of your family and a lot of people who remember Alize. He was a pretty powerful little boy to have such a strong influence on the world :D

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb