I must be the worst son

[roadracer]

Why do people do this? People wonder why I have a problem with getting angery and losing my temper, this is a example why,
We had it planed out, I was going to go on vacation with my parents (this usually dosent happen, I never go on vacation with them), we were supposed to leave next week, and I was really looking forward to it. I was going to drive and everything, driving them in MY car and everything. It is a 12 hour trip, and I had the route all planed out and everything. We were going to visit relatives, go to the beach, stop at a national park... I was really looking forward
Then they decide to tell me this morning that they decided to change things and that my dad is driving them in his truck, and pretty much I am not invited now.
I BLEW UP, I was mad to say the least, then my mom says "thanks, now you are trying to make us feel bad, and we wont be able to enjoy ourselfs on our vacation"
I pretty much said screw you, I will go on my own trip then since you dont want me to go along. I think I might pack up the car and go on a one way trip to California while they are gone, and just leave them a note for when they get back saying I wont be back, have a great life, with a $20 bill for a case of beer so they can start there party to celebrate. (okay, I would really like to do that, but I wont) :(

[Aspigander]

Oh my. What a way to cause your 'blueprint' to collapse!

Any idea why they changed things like that on you? I take it they were perfectly fine with you going with them and driving, originally?

ETA: I see in your thread title that you are being self-critical again. Do you think that because of their decision to exclude you all of a sudden, or because of how you reacted?

(Either way, I cannot imagine you being the 'worst son', and I hope that is now how your parents think of you.)

[peglem]

Well, I think that was really mean of them, unless they had a really, really good reason (and then they should have told you and given you the opportunity to work something out.

Too bad for them- with you doing all the driving they would have been able to drink nonstop. Okay, that was mean of me. I just feel bad for you.

[roadracer]

Oh my. What a way to cause your 'blueprint' to collapse!

Any idea why they changed things like that on you? I take it they were perfectly fine with you going with them and driving, originally?


because they only care about themselfs and decided at the last minute they didnt want me along on 'there' trip. They probably decided it would be more enjoyable if they just went by themselfs.

It reminds me of growing up, every summer the family would get together, cousins, aunts, etc, and they would go to Disney world. Now, usualy not all the same people would be albe to go each year, some got to go some years, others other years. But, I was NEVER alowed to go along, I was never invited, I have never been to Disney world. I would spend all year thinking I would get to go that year, only to be told I was not alowed to go.
This sort of reminds me of that, they dont want me along because they are afraid I am going to ruin there trip or make them misrable the whole time.

It would not have botherd me if they were going and didnt say anything to me, but they ask me if I wanted to go, like we were going to make this a family trip and everything and that is how we planed it out, then at the last minute they decide they didnt want me along on there trip

It is okay, I will go on my own trip by myself and enjoy myself. I havent picked a place yet, but I am sure I will be able to think of some place nice to go. I think I might go to DC and spend a couple days exploring the Smithsonians, it is one of my favorite places to go

[Aspigander]

I think I might go to DC and spend a couple days exploring the Smithsonians,

What is the Smithsonians?

[peglem]

What is the Smithsonians?

http://www.si.edu/

[roadracer]

What is the Smithsonians?

the worlds largest museum, you have never been there?
http://www.si.edu/

[peglem]

the worlds largest museum, you have never been there?
http://www.si.edu/

Haha! Beat ya to it!

[Aspigander]

the worlds largest museum, you have never been there?
http://www.si.edu/

LOL, I've never even been outside of Michigan but a few times, and not that far out of it. So nope, never been there.

[lisa6wks]

RoadRacer,
You are definitely NOT the world's worst son, and they are in the running for the world's worst parents. That was just rude and mean and I would never do that to anyone, let alone a child (adult or otherwise) of my own.
Do treat yourself to a nice trip. I don't know how close by you live, but it's not too bad in DC this summer (watch I'll say that and it will go to 100!). I don't know if you can afford it, but my husband went on a segway tour with his brother (from England) there this Fall and really enjoyed it.
I love the Smithsonians too, have been going there since I was a child.

Lisa

[milivica]

Awwww, what a rotten thing for them to do. I don't understand. If they wanted a trip themselves that's fine, but you plan it like that from the start, you don't invite someone, let them plan the whole thing out, then pull the plug.

If they feel bad the whole trip, it because they know what they did was lousy, very hurtful.

Gosh I'm real sorry you're feeling so upset, I don't blame you a bit.

RR, when my husband was a little boy (back when you could put a dime in the jukebox, lol) his dad somehow managed to be able to get into a Globe Trotters game. That was big big big big stuff for a young black boy like my husband was. When the day came, his dad told everyone to get into the car...neighbor kids begged to go, my husband's dad said sure pile in and told my husband to help the littler ones, which, he did. The car was full, my husband asked his dad how he was going to fit, and his dad said, "I guess you not" and they all drove off and left him standing there, with his brothers and sisters and neighbor kids pointing out the back window laughing at him.

My husband was starving, his dad would gamble and drink his pay away, my husband would be fainting at school from hunger, and other neighbor kids waving money in his face that his dad gave to them, "Ha ha, you ain't got no money, yo daddy gave it to meeee".

My husband has more scars and whip marks on his back than Kunta Kinte. He won't go shirtless anywhere, not even at home. I mean, I could go on forever. When I picture his dad, I picture Joe Jackson (father of Michael Jackson). I never met him, know he was the son of share croppers, suffered severe abuse and certainly wasn't loved or valued or cherished by his parents. I still struggle to get my husband to stop feeling like a bad son, the things his dad did had nothing to do with him, it's the type of person he was long before he was born. It honestly never dawned on him, to be a different type of father than he was. But that had nothing to do with my husband being a good or bad son.

You are not alone in having parents that seem utterly disconnected from their heart to your heart. I'm just so very sorry to feel all the hurt in your post.

[roadracer]

my parents got back from the trip the other day, and all my mother wanted to do was show me the photos of the trip and tell me how much of a good time they had, and she is totaly clueless as to why I keep walking away that I dont want to see how much fun they had and what I missed out on. Then to make things worse I actualy believed them a second time, again, I should have known I can never trust them, I never really could my whole life but for some reason I still do. When they got back the other day they said we were going to go camping for the rest of there vacation, well guess what, we were supposed to leave thursday, well I get up ready to get ready and they decide they have to much of hangovers to go camping, as they have been drinking non stop for about a week now
I just want to get out of here, I cant take being with them 24/7 when they are drinking non stop :(
They get me feeling bad, then I spend the day in my room thinking how crapy my life is, and that things are never going to get good enough to be happy, makes me feel I dont want to live. I will get up in the morning and I might be happy all day, or I might just repeat this process, I never know what the next day is going to be like, if it is going to be a good day or I am going to go threw a bunch of crap and how much I can handle. So far I have not reached my breaking point, but there have been times I have come real close, and I never know if I will get like that again.

[Aspigander]

Wow, RR, I am very sorry to hear that. Not sure what else I can say other than that.

I really wish you were able to get some help so you could get out on your own. It really sounds as if the environment is pretty emotionally toxic. I would hate to see you never being able to get out of that environment.

One thing that seems clear to me -- it really seems as if your parents have their own issues, and I hope you realize that their behavior towards you has nothing to do with you.

Have you taken your own trip yet? Be great if you could get out of that environment for a little while at least.

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

I'm sorry RR!

On one hand I think you should tell them exactly what you've told us. That you were looking forward to it, and then they pulled the rug out from under you, popped your bubble, just like when you were little...

But on the other, it doens't sound like it'd do much good.

Can you talk to your brother about this at all?

[roadracer]

I really dont talk to my brother much, I see him, but he dosnt talk that much. I dont think it would help anyway, he is always telling me how I need to get a job, or when I had a job to get a better job and everything and how I need to grow up and move out and stop living with mom and dad... He dosnt say this stuff all the time, just every now and then he says something like this, and I think he wont like it if I am complaining

[Aspigander]

I'm pretty sure, from your posts, that if you could do those things you would be. Does your brother not realize that? Didn't you say he has disabilities as well?