My childs loss, and ours...

[smokingun35]

In May 08 our son was a passenger in a pickup with another kid who pulled out in front of an 18-wheeler on my sons side. He was airlifted and stayed in a coma for weeks, having suffered a traumatic brain injury.

He is still with us but will never, ever be the same. He can't get a job - nobody hires those who have a history of seizures as a result of brain trauma. He has a prosthetic plate in half of his skull - can't even talk to girls now because he thinks he's too ugly. Can't keep a drivers license - went 11 months without a seizure and then had another. Sleeps 14-16 hours a day due to the seizure meds - stays angry and depressed much of the time - the driver had almost no insurance and no money either so we are stuck with the part of the 700,000.00+ dollars worth of med bills which means we cannot afford to pay for counseling - trucking company wont help with the medical at all since the kd pulled out in front of their truck - we have a younger son as well who has and will suffer greatly as a result of this - my wife and I basically hate each other now as the intensity of the anxiety from all this continues to grow....

In a way, we lost our son, and our son lost himself...

I have started drinking after work just to bring my anxiety down to a level that I can cope with the constant turmoil...

Wehave been going to church and trying really hard to change our lives through faith and it only seems to get worse..

At this point, in a sense, we have lost our son and our lives as well.. It's all we can do to keep our jobs with all the stress and time off for Dr. appointments.. We have been trying to decide whether or not to try to get our son on disability but don't want him to just give up but financially we are going to have to try as we can't go on like it is now especially considering he will no longer be eligible to be on my insurance after 8 more months..

Sorry to go on so much but I can't take much more...................

How does everyone else cope with similiar situations?

[Nana4&cntn]

Smokingun, since your son became disabled prior to turning 18, it is very possible he will be able to stay on your insurance. Check with your employer. Look at you policy, you will have to fight but I have seen it happen many times.

Please do apply for disability and payeeship, meaning his checks will come to you. He doesn't need to know at this point he is receiving benefits. He is also eligible for medicaid and they will back pay some bills. They used to go back 6 months, but I think now it is only 3 months.

Please don't use alcohol as a coping mechanism, it comes with it's own set of problems!

Have you considered suing the kids parents to help with the medical bills? It would have to be a civil suit and may affect your son's friendsip and possibly your own. Just a thought.

I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

[smokingun35]

Smokingun, since your son became disabled prior to turning 18, it is very possible he will be able to stay on your insurance. Check with your employer. Look at you policy, you will have to fight but I have seen it happen many times.

Please do apply for disability and payeeship, meaning his checks will come to you. He doesn't need to know at this point he is receiving benefits. He is also eligible for medicaid and they will back pay some bills. They used to go back 6 months, but I think now it is only 3 months.

Please don't use alcohol as a coping mechanism, it comes with it's own set of problems!

Have you considered suing the kids parents to help with the medical bills? It would have to be a civil suit and may affect your son's friendsip and possibly your own. Just a thought.

I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!


Well, as far as the insurance is concerned the company policy for ALL is 19 and off the policy so that one is likely a no win situation.

We are suppose to meet with a SSDI rep next week - have been collecting all of our documentation prior to going.

As far as alcohol, and I'm sure nobody ever says this who's an alcoholic, but I have it under control, right now. I have 2 to 5 in the evening while mowing, working in the yard or even relaxing watching TV. It's either that or a med to tame my thought process on all this and I am scared of the meds - have just seen some really, really good folks fall apart taking valium or xanax.

The kid driving had almost no insurance - 25,000.00 max payout and our med bills totalled over 700,000.00. He had already turned 18 so his family was not liable and he farms for someone so we would be trying to get blood from a turnip, so to speak, in pursuing money from him.

I just hope we can get something going for my son. He wants to be working really, really bad but with everything considered I just don't see how he can right now.

[Nana4&cntn]

I am so sorry I am so late in responding, I rarely look here and this is where I met you originally, I think.

Please FIGHT your insurance company regarding your sons medical needs! It may take awhile to get a for sure answer from the higher ups, but please do file an appeal from them! I know for a fact there are several companies out there that DO cover kids who became disabled under the age of 21 for life or the life of the policy.

None of this is going to be easy or pleasant.

Please see a psychiatrist about depression, I can almost guarantee in your situation I would be. The meds used properly are much better than alcohol any day!

I am sure the anxiety is tremendous and counseling can help that and is covered by most insurance companies. There are many counseling agencies that will only ask you to pay what you can afford. I know this as I had to use this for my post tramatic stress disorder (ptsd). It took weekly appointments for several years to deal with my childhood issues.

I am sure it would take awhile to come to terms with what has happened. Being mad at the situation just makes things worse, better to put your energy into healing your son and family.

I send a healing hug to you and your family,
Kathy