i cant be the only one in the world. . .

[tabbycat89]

(i dont know if this is in the right forum)

when i was 11 i had a terrible accident, and i've yet to find somebody who's been through it too. i've met people who've expeirenced worse, and those who've expeirenced some, but i still feel alone. i'm almost 20 now, and still recovering, still trying to get through this.

I fell out of a tree, and landed on my head. my ribs tore my lungs open, which caused multiple air embolisms in my brain, causing at least 5 strokes that we know of. most people dont survive one air embolism, let alone the 20+ that i had. the strokes were in all parts of my brain.

i am still discovering things that i do differently (or cant do at all). my depth perception and visual spacial and hand eye coordination are really messed up. i trip all the time. i have trouble with stairs and ALOT of trouble with escalators. i cant drive. i reach for something and grab the thing next to it.

often when i talk (especially when i'm nervous) i cant remember the word i want to say. i can describe it, but i cant think of what it is. this has messed up quite a few job interviews because i come across so spacey.

i have short term memory problems. if i am shown how to do something i have to be shown many times. this has also affected me being able to work. i have to be given time to learn new things, but most people dont give me that time and just assume i am not smart enough to do it. i have only had 2 jobs both fast food and one was 2 months the other 2 weeks.

i've had pstd, as well as ocd, self mutilation, panic attacks and emetophobia which stem from severe anxiety and severe depression.

oh yeah, and alot of anger. sometimes violent. and severe moodswings. i could be super happy one moment and then for no reason go into a complete rage.

i just want to find somebody, who's been through this, who understands. i mean i guess i live a basically normal life, how much i go through isnt really noticable from the outside looking in. i guess i just want someone to relate to, and talk to. like, how do you deal?

[Kevin Jackson]

Let Go ! yOU MAY FEEL ALL ALONE. bUT UNDERSTAND. sITUATIONS OF EVENTS MY BE DIFFERANT. But the pain whether psycological or physical is still pain. You may be looking for a white whale.

[smokingun35]

(i dont know if this is in the right forum)

when i was 11 i had a terrible accident, and i've yet to find somebody who's been through it too. i've met people who've expeirenced worse, and those who've expeirenced some, but i still feel alone. i'm almost 20 now, and still recovering, still trying to get through this.

I fell out of a tree, and landed on my head. my ribs tore my lungs open, which caused multiple air embolisms in my brain, causing at least 5 strokes that we know of. most people dont survive one air embolism, let alone the 20+ that i had. the strokes were in all parts of my brain.

i am still discovering things that i do differently (or cant do at all). my depth perception and visual spacial and hand eye coordination are really messed up. i trip all the time. i have trouble with stairs and ALOT of trouble with escalators. i cant drive. i reach for something and grab the thing next to it.

often when i talk (especially when i'm nervous) i cant remember the word i want to say. i can describe it, but i cant think of what it is. this has messed up quite a few job interviews because i come across so spacey.

i have short term memory problems. if i am shown how to do something i have to be shown many times. this has also affected me being able to work. i have to be given time to learn new things, but most people dont give me that time and just assume i am not smart enough to do it. i have only had 2 jobs both fast food and one was 2 months the other 2 weeks.

i've had pstd, as well as ocd, self mutilation, panic attacks and emetophobia which stem from severe anxiety and severe depression.

oh yeah, and alot of anger. sometimes violent. and severe moodswings. i could be super happy one moment and then for no reason go into a complete rage.

i just want to find somebody, who's been through this, who understands. i mean i guess i live a basically normal life, how much i go through isnt really noticable from the outside looking in. i guess i just want someone to relate to, and talk to. like, how do you deal?

I am so sorry for what you have been through.. I wish I could get my 18 yr old son to talk with you as he feels alone in his issues as well. He was a passenger in a car accident with another kid driving who pulled out in front of an 18 wheeler on my sons side - he had a traumatic brain injury. He now has intermittent seizures, likely due to not taking his meds right, he also has SEVERE ocd - his brain injury was on the part of his brain that controls emotion. He is angry, depressed. He has started getting out with friends and drinking beer to mask his worry, fear, pain, anger and has nobody to relate to. You can PM me your email address and I'll give it a shot to see if I can get him to talk with you some.

[tabbycat89]

Let Go ! yOU MAY FEEL ALL ALONE. bUT UNDERSTAND. sITUATIONS OF EVENTS MY BE DIFFERANT. But the pain whether psycological or physical is still pain. You may be looking for a white whale.

Yeah I guess you're right. I mean all of our expierences have to vary a bit dont they. Cant be all exactly the same.

[tommyp]

All our experiences from brain injury are different yes, but that that doesn't mean you shouldn't seek out support and this is exactly the right forum to make your post.

Not being able to recall words is termed anomia and is very common after a brain injury. Anger and frustration is also very common, often for psychological reasons such as anger directed at yourself or those around you or at the situation that you have been forced to deal with.

Of course, we are all different, and as with any problem with the brain it is impossible that you will find someone who has exactly the same thing that you have. But many people in this forum, myself included, have been through similar things.

I knew what you mean when you say that how much you go through isn't noticeable from the outside looking in. TBI for me has become kind of an 'invisible disability' and it is very difficult sometimes, I understand when you say that people assume that you are not smart enough to do a particular task when all it takes is a little accommodation and understanding and you could perform the task just as well as anybody else.

(reposted this cos I forgot to click subscribe)

[tabbycat89]

I cant drive bc of it, and I guess thats really getting to me this summer while I'm stuck at home watching my little brother and everybody else is out having fun with their friends. My mom is just telling me to DEAL WITH IT and to ACCEPT IT and I will just fall asleep crying bc how am I supposed to live in this world if I cant hold down a job or even get there if I had one? I was just thrown out of the hospital to try to figure everything out on my own after my accident. I hear a lot of brain injured people are treated this way as well.

I invite anyone to tell their story, so we would feel less alone.

[tommyp]

Yes, brain injury is a very difficult thing to live with, and I think a lot of the problem is because people generally don't understand it much. I remember being in hospital just after I came out of a coma and my family and friends were really emotional and optimistic about how bright the future was now that they knew I was going to be ok.

That contrasts with what really happens. Before we have even recovered fully we are cast back into society and are expected to perform at an acceptable level and be self-sufficient, particularly in the workplace but also in other areas such as social settings. Friends, especially new friends who aren't fully aware of the brain injury, will laugh and joke at you if you tell them you're going home early from a night out because you're tired (this might not be as bad for girls). I find it particularly hurtful, it makes me feel very inferior, and if I point out that it's because of my brain injury just makes me feel worse.

At the end of the day, sometimes we just have to accept that that's how life works. We have been dealt a hand in life and now our only option is to play that hand. From what you said and how you worded it your mum doesn't sound like she was being very supportive, but maybe that's what she's trying to get across to you.

But yes, a lot of people are treated this way after brain injury. And it is easy to feel that you are alone, but you're not alone; I have been through some of the things you mention and I'm certain there's people in this forum that have been through others. Anyone who has had a TBI has suffered in some way.

[LarryJameson]

Our story is posted on another site. Please feel free to read it.
Brain Injury Guide (http://www.*******.com/braininjuryguide)

[tommyp]

Looks like external links are blocked on this site for some reason. Would you mind sending it to me as a PM or posting the bits between www. and .com which appear to have been censored.