And I still haven't figured it out

[Aspigander]

Okay, I am 25 years old and I still don't know what I want to do/be when I grow up.

I thought I knew for a very long time. Ever since at least 4th grade, maybe sooner, I've wanted to be a vet. But with a combination of math, science, and social skills all being pretty deficient, I've come to realize that's a non-starter. Heck, I'm not even sure any form of college (let alone graduate college like vet school is) is feasible for me at least at this point in my life, since when I was put in a college assessment at the training center I went to two years ago, I had an anxiety attack/meltdown and was just generally not coping well with it and had to drop it four days into the assessment.

At one point I thought of compromising and just being a vet tech, but that still requires good math and science, even if not quite as much as a vet, as well as good social skills.

Heck, I'd still like to be a vet or vet tech. But...

Anyone got any ideas as to how I might go about figuring out what I want to do (that is feasible) when I grow up? Because at my age I should have figured that one out. lol

[roadracer]

You knew/know what you want to be, you said it yourself, you always wanted to be a vet. The only thing in your way is that you are using the skills that your bad with to tell yourself you are not good enough to be a vet. If you start to believe you can be a vet, start to think that you have the skills and are good enough to do the job, you will find ways around the things your are bad at.
Nobody here can tell you what to do, but you said you have always wanted to be a vet, if you want it bad enough nothing will stop you.
Sort of like what has been talked about lately on the board, if you focus on the positives and really want to be a vet, you will get there and naturaly find ways around your weakness. If you only focus on your weakness and how it will cause problems you will never get started. One thing that was taught to me in cycling was that if you show up to a race thinking you are going to do bad, you will never win, but if you show up to a race knowing you have the stregnth to win, you have a chance at it. If you focus on your weakness you will never win, you will get some crap job you dont like, but if you look at your stregnths and your love for helping animals, and all the positives, you have a chance of winning.

[Aspigander]

Okay, are you suggesting that I ignore the weaknesses and/or pretend they're not there?

It's great that I love animals. I'm sure it helps that I find medical stuff fascinating. But those strengths alone, realistically, are not going to put DVM behind someone's name. Vet schools, from what I have heard, tend to accept only those with excellent or at least darn good math and science skills as vet students. I'm actually okay with biology if I recall from HS, but totally bombed chemistry. And the fact I have about a 6th grade math level using a calculator? I'm pretty sure any vet school would look at that and laugh.

So the positives/strengths I have are great. But hard to ignore the negatives/weaknesses, when any vet school is going to look at those areas as well when considering whether or not to accept an applicant as a veterinary student.

And vet schools have very good reasons for being strict about who they accept into a program. How would you feel if I was a vet, and you brought your animal to me, and because of my poor math skills, I miscalculated a dose and killed your animal? You probably wouldn't be thinking: "ah well, she does love animals, so no biggie."

[Prot]

This is from a UK site re requisite skills for being a vet .

Skills

* Technical Skills – a detailed scientific background and knowledge of veterinary medicine/ science is a pre-requisite.

* Communication – strong inter-personal and communication skills are a must. There will be many difficult situations involved within the job and it will be necessary to liaise with a range of different people from high-brow pharmacologists and pathologists to those with learning difficulties. Tact is a must.

* Business skills – in order to run a successful practice vets will need a good appreciation of business and in some areas agronomics. Vets will also need a good grasp of many of the commercial elements that might adversely affect a working farm.

* Practicality – Vets are not just people who ‘love animals’. Being able to do the 'right' thing is imperative even if that does mean putting down an animal.


http://www.myjobsearch.com/careers/veterinary-surgeon.html


From another UK site :

Individuals who are interested in veterinary medicine should have an enquiring mind and keen powers of observation. An aptitude for, and interest in the sciences are important.

As well as a fondness for animals, vets need a life-long interest in scientific learning. Vets should also be able to meet, talk and work with a wide variety of people.

Vets may have to euthanase (humanely kill) an animal that is very sick or severely injured and cannot get well. When an animal dies, the vet must deal with the owner's grief and loss and so must have excellent communication skills.



The veterinary degree lasts five years (six years at Cambridge) and is extremely demanding. Subjects covered include basic sciences for the first couple of years e.g. physiology, biochemistry and then becomes more practical in the clinical years.
In the holidays students are expected to complete extra mural studies (EMS). This consists of 12 weeks on farms. Students are expected to complete 26 weeks of EMS in different veterinary practices, including one week at an abattoir and one week at a veterinary laboratory agency.


http://www.bva.co.uk/public/documents/Become_a_vet_2007.ppt


I guess that the academic standards required to become a vet would be equally as high as in the US.

If you can not meet the requirements to become a vet(hopefully you can as there's no doubting your intelligence) would becoming a veterinary nurse be something you would ever consider?

[tgrimes]

You knew/know what you want to be, you said it yourself, you always wanted to be a vet. The only thing in your way is that you are using the skills that your bad with to tell yourself you are not good enough to be a vet. If you start to believe you can be a vet, start to think that you have the skills and are good enough to do the job, you will find ways around the things your are bad at.
Nobody here can tell you what to do, but you said you have always wanted to be a vet, if you want it bad enough nothing will stop you.
.

Holy Crap, OMG.. WTG... what else do i have to say... that is the most positive post I have seen yet. What you been doing there?
:)

[roadracer]

AspiG, if you are always going to limit yourself then just get a job as a janitor, or maybe McDonalds, but make sure it is in the back so social skills wont pop up :p

Do you really think that becoming a vet is easy for anyone? If you limit yourself and take the easy rode your choices are slim and you wont be happy, your only other choice is to take the hard road and stugle for the things you want, and with every step forward you will be happy with yourself, but it is never easy to do the things that are worth doing. Becoming a vet is hard for everyone, you get tutors and work extra hard to learn the things you are behind with, and if your disabilities get in the way to much certain things can be made acesable for you. If somewhere along the line of looking up the different colleges and there corse requirments and meeting with them and different people and asking a hundred questions, asking what can be done to acomidate for you during college. Contact VR, they can help you in the search, do what you have to do if you really want to be a vet.
Like I said it is not easy for anyone so you should stop limiting yourself. If you never take the first steps to do what you really want to do you will never really know if you can and spend the rest of your life "thinking what if" and regreating never trying.
It is time to stop taking the easy road and take the hard road to get what you want out of your life.
It wont be easy, but few things worth doing are.
I know I have told you this quote before, but I will post it again

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer too much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat"

Holy Crap, OMG.. WTG... what else do i have to say... that is the most positive post I have seen yet. What you been doing there?
:)
LOL :D

[roadracer]

If it helps I can list everything that I have acomplished and my weakneses that should have stoped me from acomplishing them? I think you would be suprised what a person can do with enough determination!

[milivica]

AspieG, I'm 45 and still don't know what I want to be other than a good mom. While trying to figure this out, I asked the RDI consultant why I still haven't figured this out. She said the way to find the job that's right for you, is not to say 'I want to be this', she said to pursue the things you are interested in and enjoy. I'm under the impression that by pursuing what you most love, your career will find you. She reminded me, that all the years she worked with people with autism, there was no such thing as an RDI consultant, the job did not yet even exist!

There are people who help you map out your interests, and help steer you in the right general direction. I'm not one of those people! Do you want to be a vet specifically? Or do you want to help animals and that's the only career you know of, that you can so profoundly help animals? If being a vet is exactly what you want to be, then like RR said you will be able to overcome what ever you need to, to become that. When you have a hunger and desire and need to do something, you will find a way to do it. You may wind up specializing in something in particular, that doesn't even exist yet.

If healing animals is your deepest ambition, then start taking steps toward that. It's great to have goals, but life isn't a destination, it's a journey. Right? I can enjoy things I would usually hate, if it means I can be a good mom (my goal).

[Aspigander]

If you can not meet the requirements to become a vet(hopefully you can as there's no doubting your intelligence) would becoming a veterinary nurse be something you would ever consider?

I have thought of that, actually. That might be a bit more within reach. The main problem I have with being a nurse (or vet technician as it's called here in the US) is that I may have to assist in things that I don't think animals should have to go through. I'm not sure if you've heard of these procedures, as I don't think they're widely done in the UK (may be illegal there?), but here in the US there's a lot of owner-convenience and/or cosmetic procedures like debarking, declawing, ear cropping, and tail docking that really don't serve any benefit to the animal and have the potential to actually be detrimental. If I'm a vet, I can refuse to do them. If I'm a tech, and having to assist in surgery, I'm pretty sure I'd be having to assist in whatever surgery is scheduled.

[Aspigander]

If it helps I can list everything that I have acomplished and my weakneses that should have stoped me from acomplishing them? I think you would be suprised what a person can do with enough determination!

Okay, sure.

[Aspigander]

Do you want to be a vet specifically? Or do you want to help animals and that's the only career you know of, that you can so profoundly help animals?

Well, granted, when I first wanted to become a vet, when I was a kid, that was the only one I knew of. The vet we used at the time was semi-retired, and it was a one-man operation. He was the vet, the tech, and the receptionist all in one. So at that time that's the only thing I knew of.

About a year and a half ago, I followed my vet around for a day. It was really neat. I got to talk to her as well as other vets and techs (though had an aspie moment/ social blunder when we went out for lunch, if you'd like to hear about that). Got to see some appointments and a few surgeries. I'm fascinated with medical stuff, so think I'd like to do something medical with animals, which I think means vet or vet tech.

I think I'd be content settling for technician, but as I said in my reply to Prot, that might force me to help with things that I find objectionable, that as a vet I could simply decline to do. One of the surgeries I got to watch was a declaw, which is like my least favorite of the procedures I listed in my reply to Prot. There was a tech there, holding the cat's paws out for the vet. I don't think my conscience would allow me to hold out the paw. Not sure if I could be a vet tech without having to assist in those kinds of procedures.

[milivica]

Do you think it'd be possible to find a vet to work for that won't do those procedures? I don't think it's common, but there must be vets that won't do that.

I can understand how you feel about some of those procedures. I've even heard of ppl declawing their dogs cause they don't like the sound of the claws on the hard flooring.

[Aspigander]

Do you think it'd be possible to find a vet to work for that won't do those procedures? I don't think it's common, but there must be vets that won't do that.

Not sure about debarking, ear cropping, and tail docking, but there is a list of US vets who won't declaw on the internet, I just checked it a few minutes ago and while there were three in Michigan, none are in my area.

I can understand how you feel about some of those procedures. I've even heard of ppl declawing their dogs cause they don't like the sound of the claws on the hard flooring.

Yikes. And they have dogs because?

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Lauren, I didn't read every word here, so sorry if I duplicate any ideas above.

First, I agree 100% with RR. If you want something badly enough, then you won't let things get in your way. So my question is: DO you REALLY want to be a vet? I saw that Mili asked this question too...I have a twist...would you be just as interested in working with animals in any other way? Like on a farm or at a zoo or something? Or is it just domestic type animals or whatever?

Secondly, I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I think it's pretty common at your age to not know for sure...and at a bare minimum have a lot of doubts even as your moving toward something. And then to even change your mind mid-steam, or after some time at it. I wouldn't get too hung up on it. I would just try to set a goal and move forward. One way or another things will get clearer...keeping in mind though, that even at my age, my aspirations are still as clear as mud, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that. I think it's a factor of things changing priority as you grow older.

Lastly, I used to work for the MSPCA...all those horrible procedures that you mentioned were NOT done there because of their cruelty. You could work for an organization like them or you could have your own practice that does NOT include those procedures.

Ok, I know most of that has already been said, so the thing I really noticed missing here and wanted to ask about was your writing. Have you considered something that would incorporate that since you enjoy it so much AND are very good at it?

Maybe you could write books about animals?

I agree with RR that no one here can really tell you what to do, I'm not sure if that's really what you want, or just a little support in your struggle...so here's my $0.02:

Sit down and think about all the things that you are really good at. Generally people are good at things that they enjoy, so considered that too. Like you might be good at dishes, but who really likes doing that...make sure both things are present. Don't get hung up on the list...just jot stuff down that you like:

being outside,
gardening,
writing
caring for_____... I'm still wondering if it's animals or just the caring...like would you enjoy working with spec-ed kids, or elderly, or babies?
etc.

The list could be long, it could be short, it could take you an hour or 3 weeks (a few minutes here & there to jot down a quick thought)...you'll know when it's done.

Then consider all the things possible from that list...WITHOUT limitations. Remember if you want it bad enough!

There are also programs that help with this sort of thing. Seniors in high school take them. I can't remember the names but I'm sure you could google it up, maybe even find an on-line version. The tests just ask you all sorts of questions about likes & dislikes, strengths & weaknesses, etc. Then proposes fields and occupations. This might be helpful for you too.

I'll see if I can google something to give you an idea.

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Here's one to give you an idea. Don't know if this is a good site or not...but there are others.

http://www.livecareer.com/default.asp?lp=st03&cobrand=CLEAR

[Aspigander]

Kristen, I did the livecareer thing a little while ago. It did indicate that I'd be good with writing and education. Actually, I've thought before of working in special education (maybe I should become a special ed teacher and start working at Allie's school so at least ONE person on staff would use their head for something other than keeping their ears apart LOL). You know, I wonder if I could incorporate animals in a spec. ed setting...

Okay, I was going to let this issue go, but since multiple people have brought it up, I feel I need to address the whole concept of "if you want something badly enough nothing will get in your way". I am NOT offended by any of the posts, so please don't take this the wrong way, but I do feel I need to bring a little realism to the subject.

Let's say, hypothetically, I wanted to be able to drive a car. Let's say I really really reeeeaaaalllllllly wanted to be able to drive a car. Well with my visual impairment, this just isn't possible no matter how much I might want it. Even if I figured out some adaptations, I would never be allowed a license. It would not be legal for me to do so even if I got around every other obstacle. Plus, I'd really like to get along better with my mom, and am trying to work through my issues, but so far I don't see myself any closer to that goal. So I think making a blanket statement that "if you want it bad enough you'll figure out how to get it" is a little bit idealistic. I hope I haven't offended anyone, and I hope you don't take what I said the wrong way, I just felt the need to address that.

[peglem]

I agree with you about the driving the car, but, you can find ways to compensate for not being able to drive...alternative ways to achieve the same result (ie..getting where you want to go independently). I do get your point and you do face greater obstacles than your average Jane, but that doesn't mean you can't achieve your goals, only that you're going to have to find creative ways to reach them.

[Aspigander]

I agree with you about the driving the car, but, you can find ways to compensate for not being able to drive...alternative ways to achieve the same result (ie..getting where you want to go independently). I do get your point and you do face greater obstacles than your average Jane, but that doesn't mean you can't achieve your goals, only that you're going to have to find creative ways to reach them.

I put the driving as the actual goal to illustrate that sometimes there are limitations that won't allow certain things.

Okay, let's say my ultimate career goal would be to be a school bus driver (or any other occupation with driving in the job title). And let's say I can figure out creative ways for things. Still, would that be a realistic goal?

[peglem]

Of course that's not realistic, but that's not what you want to do anyway. The point is... You have just as much right to a fulfilling life as anybody else and if part of what you need to live a fulfilling life is a rewarding career, GO FOR IT.

It may be easier to set smaller goals in working towards the big kahuna, and you may even change your goals as you go through life's grand journey (for most people, circumstances or opportunities come up that change our intended paths)...But what is the alternative to following your dreams?

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Lauren, there are loads of spec-ed type therapies that involve animals...like hippotherapy. I'm sure there is a way for you to incorporate animals and spec-needs kids. AND I bet you'd be AWESOME at it!!!

http://www.americanequestrian.com/hippotherapy.htm

Crap, I'm having a brain fart...what are those dogs called that are trained for special needs...not seeing eye dogs, but ones that help with anxiety and things for people with ASDs..crud, I know so little about them, just that they exsist...hopefully someone will know what the heck I'm talking about if you don't. That could be fun for you...training them and then acclamating them to a new owner.

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Ahhh...here's what I meant: http://autismservicedogsofamerica.com/

[Nikabee]

All really good ideas here. :) I just had a thought to add... since you love animals and are very knowledgable about them and you have a interest in working with kids... how about teaching children about animals? They have a program at my son's school where the class takes several field trips to the nature center where they bring in TONS of animals. Each time they go, there are a couple people that teach the kids about a certain type of animal. For instance, last week the class learned how to groom a horse, how much to feed it and what types of food it should eat. They had a lot of fun and learned a lot too.

That could progress into something more involved in time too... as you're working your way toward your ultimate goal. Just a thought.

By the way, as many have said, most people don't know what they 'want to be when they grow up.' ;) Don't worry about it too much.