Off Topic Chit Chat

[joy]

I edited this because I had explained to Mr. Bogangles
where Braintalk 2 was.

But
not wanting to miss a chance

in case anyone hasn't heard, I like to hear funny jokes,
or happenings in life.

If anyone has anything to share, please do so.

pssst.....that includes you Melody if you still read here!

[MelodyL]

Joy, just noticed this off topic thing. Here's the latest thing that happened to Alan yesterday. By the way, he's doing fine, on lyrica, is at the gym, doing his Rocky Balboa thing.

I posted this story over on the other forum too!!!

Here's what happened yesterday. We just came home from shopping and on the way home (right around the corner from my house is a little chinese furniture store. They opened up about 7 months ago. I would never have gone in but I spotted this chair thing in there about two weeks ago, I went in, took one look at the chair and said to myself: "Alan would die for this chair". So today was the day.

We are walking past the store and I drag Alan inside. Now he has been in massage chairs. He has been to The Sharper Image in NYC and Brookstone in NYC and he has sat in $4000 massage chairs where you lean back and put your feet in the bottom part and something in the chair goes up and down your back and Alan always goes nuts in these chairs because, as he puts it "it's like Dr. Theirl using the G5 machine on my back.

BUT NOTHING PREPARED ALAN FOR THE CHAIR HE SAT IN TODAY.

The name of the chair is CYBER-RELAX MassageChair SKS 1850.

I won't tell you the price until the end of my story.

the lady says to Alan. Take off your coat and your shoes. He did and then sat down. She advised him to sit all the way in and rest his head back and then she programmed the thing. By the way it's programmed to do 514 functions and it comes with heat and vibrators.

Well, as soon as she turns it on, some pillow thing on each side of Alan starts to inflate and the look on his face was priceless. He murmurs "oh my god". and then he made this OOHH sound with his mouth. I never laughed so hard in all my life. The pillow expander things on each of his side cushioned him and started to rock him back and forth (I kid you not). Then under his neck, something starts to expand and deflate and he went "oh, oh".

Then, (you know how at night, I massage him and thump his back up and down), well this chair starts to thump his back and the lady goes, "how hard do you want it, I don't want to hurt you". I shouted "THUMP HIM, THUMP HIM". He couldn't talk because I think he was in ecstasy!!!

He was just sitting there and dropping dead. He was in such heaven, well, you can't imagine. Oh, when you sit in this thing, you place your wrists inside it and if you have carpal tunnel, well it treats your carpal tunnel.

So now, Alan is getting his neck, his back, his waist, his calves and his feet, (all these pillow things are expanding and deflating and his back is going thump thump thump. He is just sitting there in ecstasy.

Then the chair starts to rock back and forth and I go "Alan, the chair is rocking back and forth". He never heard me because he never opened his eyes, he was smiling so hard. She let him sit in this thing for 20 minutes. I couldn't believe it.

Here's the link to this chair. They have all models but this one was the top of the line, the Model 1850.

How much does it cost???? $7800.00

Here's the link so you can see what it looks like.

http://www.massagechair.tv/index.asp...on=Custom&ID=7

Alan came home a very very happy camper.

He now wants to go on Deal or no Deal to get this chair.

Melody

[MelodyL]

Hi all:

I just learned how to do these smiley things.

Here's my Alan at the gym!!!

http://bestsmileys.com/exercising/6.gif
http://bestsmileys.com/exercising/2.gif

Melody

[joy]

Wow sunshine! You are so smart! I seem to have misplaced my brain. Hubby got us a new camers and it is so slow that I usually am impatient and look to soon and get the top of grandchild's head, lol.

But I was a darn near genbious yep that's right for five years so can't complain. I have things that I did on the old computer that I had to run through copier and hold my mouth just right while holding my breath to get a hundred or more little dots on the right square. Yep, I'd run it through portrait then landscape and all the writing and little squares would be in right place plus I had to figure out how big to make the font to get all that the professor wanted on the page.

Now I can't hook up a computer or fix the printer when it gets messed up so all my brightness just flew out the window, lol.

Tell Rocky that he is probably looking to good to be walking around by himself. So it is a good thing he is getting all those muscles. He is going to need them when he has to run from women that notice his physiceeekk and try and capture him!!

[MelodyL]

The other day when Alan put his biceps in my face and said "feel this", I gave him a withering look and said "I know what you are doing, there is some bimbo making eyes at you at that stupid gym of yours, right?"

You should have seen the look on Alan's face!!!. He said "you think women look at me, me??? why I'm almost 60!!! And I retorted 'BUT YOU DON'T HAVE THE BODY OF A GUY WHO IS ALMOST 60", "YOU HAVE MUSCLES".

I said "anybody comes near you and I'll scratch her eyes out".

Alan now has a new spring in his step. He thinks I'm nuts of course but it keeps him on his toes.

mel
http://bestsmileys.com/lol/22.gif

http://bestsmileys.com/butterfly/3.gif

Gee, I love these things.

[joy]

Well Rocky may very well keep that spring in his step the rest of his life. I say this because I have had two relatives in a nursing home. Now the aunt was not much to talk about except grim stuff but the uncle's story, well.. I'll put on my thinking cap.

I do know that it sure was funny all the goings on that went on in the homes he was in. Little men and women fighting over each other. I must say it was more the little ole women fighting over the men in most cases, lol. My aunt by marriage had divorced my uncle just before he went into the home. He must have been some catch. He always was a mischevious person and always laughing. He caught him a sweetie that finally won out. They were married and spent the rest of her life in the same room. Sadly she died but it was kinda sweet to see the two of them together.

May Rocky always feel this way. I have to say my darned spring has left my body, lol. Even when I lost the weight I didn't like the wrinkles on my butt myself, lol. Now I know if I would have given it time they might have rearranged themselves but I don't think those in my face ever would have. My face has a permanent upside down frown that's such a chore to make look happy. Maybe that's one reason I'm always looking for something to make me chuckle, lol. I do know even if I had all the money in the world I'd never have a face lift. With my luck with infections, including staph resistant, I'd probably die a good looking woman from the surgery or worse yet, it would not heal and I'd look worse!

Oh how vain but I try to just live with my looks and hope everyone else can too. It did make me mad when my last eye doctor refused to give me contacts. They don't prescribe them for anyone BTY. I had worked with the doctor when we were younger at a Safeway store too, lol. I knew him when he was a lowly stock boy and carried out groceries. But no dice on the contacts. It's because I have dry macular degeneration along with a few other eye problems but gosh darn it, I want contacts sometimes! I'll go to a different doctor next time. Expect for horror stories to follow on eyes when I do.

As you say
Be well

[MelodyL]

Hi.

my mom, when she was in her 50's, became a licensed practical nurse. She always wanted to be a nurse but her dad never let her. So when she got older, and my parents moved to Florida, she took the opportunity and became a LPN. She worked in a place called Ritchie Manor Rehabilitation nursing home (as a matter of face, she went there when she and my dad were 80 and lived there until they both died in 1995).

So lets' get back to when she was 56 and got her nursing degree. When she worked at Ritchie Manor, boy did she tell me stories about what she would fine when she walked into someone's room.

She would fine 80 year old people having sex. She would then say out loud "now now, we can't have any of this, Mr. Brown, get off or Mrs. Smith. I never laughed so hard in all my life.

Then she told me about the time when one old person had to go to the bathroom so much theyhad to call the plumber because the guy clogged up the pipes (HE ACTUALLY WENT THAT MUCH).

She would tell me story after story. She never knew that 80 year old people were still interested in THAT PART OF THEIR LIFE!!!.

Very funny when I think back on it.

Melody
http://bestsmileys.com/flowers/1.gif

[joy]

Oh the ironey of needing a plumer, lol. I don't even have to imagine that. I know what can happen to a person that takes iron pills and pain medication.

I got a giggle out of the older people (sometimes) when I visited my uncle. One sweet little ole man thought he could play the piano and would serenade the ladies!

We sang Christmas carols at the nursing home just up the road from us last Saturday night. There was an 101 year old woman there. Wish I'd took the camera because she looked pretty good too. Just like your little 100yo almost!

[joy]

I took some good advice Melody! I really had to do some detective work but finally found the yellow brick road. hee hhe.



http://bestsmileys.com/toliot/14.gif

[joy]

I want to take this opportunity to apologize to some people who have had the misfortune to hear my griping here lately. I am fortunate that several people from BT do exchange private messages with me and I count myself very lucky to have each one in my life.

December is always a bad month for hubby and I as it is the month that several loved ones has died. All happens in 2 or 3 weeks if not days just before Christmas. It has happened again this year, it happened last year also. I’m hoping since one has already died this month that this will be it for this year. And as far as things go I am thankful as daughter, SIL and precious granddaughter was in a wreck just lately. The vehicle is not drivable so that will be a problems but it could have been so much worse. I’m praying that the bump on daughter’s head will not make her seizures worse. It certainly is not helping her pancreatitis.

I did enjoy shopping for a little 3-year-old boy named Michael for the Salvation Army. I think he will have a better Christmas because of the Salvation Army and it was a joy buying for him. Now let’s hope I can keep in the spirit. I may have to put this TENS machine on my head before this month is over, lol. Right now it’s cranked up about as high as it will go on my back and yes, it does help some for anyone who is interested. It helps more with muscular type pain for me.

I know what's wrong maybe, I just need to hear Grandma got run over by a Reindeer and to watch The Grinch. I love the music in the Grinch!


http://bestsmileys.com/christmas1/9.gif

[Cry Tears]

Hi Joy....no need to apologize as you are one of the most upbeat people I hear from.
It wouldn't be normal to always have everything 100% perfect in our lives, so we expect a few things that get us CP'rs down and share it with us.
So whenever you are wanting and needing our support...please feel free to share your concerns. I may not have any answers...but I can send a cyber HUG!
Blessings to you! Cheryl

[joy]

I believe cyber friends are the best!! And they sure don't get their feelings hurt if you can't go shopping like neighbors or relatives do, lol.

http://bestsmileys.com/friendly/1.gif

[MelodyL]

Merry Christmas everybody!!!

http://bestsmileys.com/lights/4.gif

http://bestsmileys.com/lights/3.gif

http://bestsmileys.com/lights/5.gif
http://bestsmileys.com/christmas1/11.gif

[joy]

Beautiful light show. Now I will have to try and find it. Some of the things have little smiley faces with a question mark. That's ok as some night or nights when I can't sleep - I'll just print it off to see what it is! It will be a surprise that way. A present.

Since I like to watch snowflakes here is one that I love-

http://bestsmileys.com/christmas4/4.gif

Taa - Daah !!

[joy]

Hey Melody And anyone reading this

Hi Everyone

and Melody in case you stop by here I wanted to tell you something - guess what came in the mail today - the movie!! Yep I told hubby about that movie and he took someone's suggestion about finding it on ebay. He knew how I am about anything that involves money so he ordered it. It cost more to mail than the movie, lol. If you have to pay that much shipping I have a question - how does anyone make any money, lol! Cheap movie, mailing cost greater but it did not break the bank. Thank goodnesss. Too many doctors' visits for this family here lately. Hubby is still out ahead and daughter is resisting going back because of the tremendous cost she has because of being in hospital. My visit was today. Heard the same thing. Pn is going too, blah blah. No wonder I hate going, lol. Hubby goes again tommorrow.

No need to reply if you don't wish. I just wanted you to know what you started, lol. Now I'll have a good movie to watch. Yeah! Thanks for the suggestion. If you care to recommend any more, I'm all ears.

Merry Christmas everyone! I'm trying real hard to be like Grinch only AFTER his heart grew!



http://bestsmileys.com/christmas4/11.gif

I posted this because my son gave his girfriend so MANY Snoopy things the year before they MARRIED! Said she loved Snoopy. But here is a secret, guess who PAID for most of it, yep me!

[Cry Tears]

OK Joy....wanna share the name of the movie with me?
Now you got me in deep suspense....I'm easily ammused these days...LOL!
I'm bummed they never found the other 2 hikers in our clear weather.
The first climber they found had been dead 2 days. They'd left him behind because of injured arm....guess the moral of this story is Never leave your friends alone or behind! Just so sad....but they made this choice, to hike in dead of winter....Oregons weather is very fical. They hiked the north side:eek: ....very dangerous with cliffs 2,500 foot drop:eek: and get this, they chose NOT to take a $5 locator beacon with them....weighs less than a pager!
Too bad we don't get to make a choice about our health issues....I'd get a locator beacon for sure!
I'm sooooo stressed! Baaahumbug!
But what more could I ask for....my grand monkey here right beside me!
The bed hog! I'm gonna kick her out soon! Grandpa went to bed early, downstairs in the guest bedroom.
Hey....good movie I'll bet no one has ever seen....Mr Kruegers Christmas with Jimmy Stewart. Great Christmas movie....must order from LDS book store.
Its really a great movie...only 20 mins long. Everyone who see's it loves it. All comes down to one thing....the babe in the manger!
Blessings, cheryl

[joy]

Hi Chery. Will make this short. If you check my post for tonight you will see why, lol. I have to try and get some sleep. That is the only thing that really keeps me from driving. I WON'T drive if I have not had enough sleep!

Pack of lies. I can't wait to find the time to watch it. Now to look for the movie you mentioned.

[joy]

As I have been saying, my hubby and my family always lose loved ones right before Christmas. This time it was my cousin. My aunt and uncle had six boys and one girl. The girl is still alive but in her life has had to take care of just about everyone of her brothers including her mother and daddy. This time it is my cousin that is the closest to my age. Already the oldest, the youngest boy and now another. I don't see how Brenda holds up asashe is so small but when it comes to family, boy does she ever have the determination that it takes to care for an invalid. Her owm mother died just a week from the time mine was buried. I can't feel anything right now myself but wonder how is she gong to make it today during the funeral. Everyone already had family down but they were fortunate to get the details worked out so they can bury him at least before Christmas. If an autopsy is required you can'tt bury until it is completed. At least there is something to be thankful for! The thoughts of having a loved one in funeral home is just as bad as having to bury one this close. It just reminds me, only God knows our time. Can't say as I'm ready to die, but I sure am preparing for it someday. ;)