I'm 500 pounds?

[milivica]

Vince and I were watching a show on Animal Planet, about this species of catfish in the Amazon that grows so large, it can eat people.

They showed a fisherman's legs sticking out of the body of a catfish who was trying to finish eating him. The man was already dead. They said the catfish was about 500 pounds.

Vince seemed unimpressed with the weight, so I said, "Ya know Vince, that's more than TWO of me". He said nothing, and purposely avoided my glance. So I said, "What? You think I weigh 500 pounds?" He looked out the window at the huge thunderstorm we're having and said, "Nice weather we're having, huh."

Baawawawaawa!

We shared that smile people do, when one person is full of crap and they both know it. It was great. We're both new at sharing more than words together. What a little stinker.

Then he tries to backpedal, by complimenting me. As most of you remember, his compliments are, well, not complimentary. He says, "I love you mom", I say I love him too, then he says, "Even though sometimes you are freakish and scary". Freakish and scary! WTF. Wow thank you Vincent, this is better than when you said my breath was interesting like toxic venomous fumes. He is really going to have to work on this before he thinks about dating!

[peglem]

Vince seemed unimpressed with the weight, so I said, "Ya know Vince, that's more than TWO of me". He said nothing, and purposely avoided my glance. So I said, "What? You think I weigh 500 pounds?" He looked out the window at the huge thunderstorm we're having and said, "Nice weather we're having, huh."

Spoken like a true desert dweller!
Vince is such a cool kid! And all these little strategies he's experimenting with to not insult people....very normal!

[milivica]

It was his smoothest attempt to date, at changing the subject. Yeah, he'll have to practice this kind of thing. I'm obviously not offended, practice makes perfect after all.

Spoken like a true 500 pound freakish and scary venomous breathed woman :D

[Aspigander]

Ewwww! They showed part of a dead guy on Animal Planet? I watch AP fairly often. Thanks for the warning!

[roadracer]

this is better than when you said my breath was interesting like toxic venomous fumes.
Is this when you decided that your breath stunk and made the 'stinky breath thread' :D from your description of your breath he was telling the truth then? :D
500 pounds, lol, so you weigh 250 then?(you said two of yourself) (just joking) :D

[MichaelsMom]

Haha, I'm laughing at what he said your breath smells like. That totally sounds like something Michael would say. He's not the best at giving compliments either and he also better work on it before he ever dates. Hey at least he said he loved you, which is more than I get from Michael.

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

That's awesome! LOL! :D

Coley doesn't complement me, well sometimes he does, but they are just nice, like he says "Mommy, you're the best." and stuff like that...but OMG! his questions...

Mommy, are my teeth gonna get golden yellow like yours?
note to self, pick up some white strips & cut down on the coffee.

Mommy, how come your chest is getting smaller?
note to self, get new (push up) bras...BFing has taken it's toll!

Mommy, why do you have those lines on your forehead?
Why do you think Coley? (I'm thinking, because you stress me out with these questions)
A: Because you are getting old?
note to self: pick up some moisturizer & use it often!

I have a question for you Coley...how come you don't ask Daddy questions like this? :rolleyes:

[tgrimes]

Hee Heeeee!
Interesting but toxic... I love Vincisms.

[milivica]

AspieG, I'm sure it was a simulation of the dead guy sticking out of a catfishes mouth. Probably a guy covered in ketchup with a giant rubber catfish over his upper body.

RR...nope not 250, but not light enough to say 500 lbs is three of me yet. I'm 5'9"ish, finally in a size 18 after losing 20 pounds this winter somehow (not sure how exactly). I'm not so into the number on the scale, but would love to be a size 14, that'd be great.

Kristen >>>Mommy, how come your chest is getting smaller?<<< yeah, I remember when Carmen was little and looking at my boobs, she said, "I can't wait until I'm a big girl, so I can have nice long boobies like yours".

Grimes, yeah I gotta admit, I totally love Vincisms. His compliments really are awesome. I mean being as I have a sense of humor and all.

[peglem]

Mommy, how come your chest is getting smaller?
note to self, get new (push up) bras...BFing has taken it's toll!

First of all, oh-oh, Coley is already studying women's chests!

This reminds me of an incident when I was teaching kindergarten. One day I was a bit behind in laundry (hey, you try staying current when the washing machine makes your child psychotic) so i wore this push up bra that was bought only to go with this one dress for a special occasion. After the Pledge, a little girl says to me, "Teacher, are you growing up?"