Intolerance to people

[Prot]

Is it possible to have an intolerance to people like one can have an intolerance to certain foods i wonder.
With food intolerances it's the foods you crave that tend to be the culprits.
Sometimes i am quite happy with my own company and yet at other times whilst longing for interaction with others i find it hard to achieve due to long term difficulties when it comes to knowing how to socially interact with others and deep rooted tendencies to anxiety/fear driven avoidance and paranoia.
All too often even when i do manage to interact to some degree i eventually end up getting baffled and distressed by the process as i can often find it hard to to get my head around how other people are to me and how i am expected to be to them.

Have you ever felt like you were an alien whose landed on earth and shapeshifted into human form and yet you can't quite get to grips with how to be human as opposed to just outwardly looking human?

Well that is a little like how it feels.

[tgrimes]

Is it possible to have an intolerance to people like one can have an intolerance to certain foods i wonder.
.

Prot,
What does that mean, like intolerance to all people or certain people?
Are you able to just avoid people when you are feeling intolerant, or not, because it is an obsession, even when it makes you angry?
Are you able to 'just not do' things you don't feel like doing, it sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself.
Jimmy Stewart used to go on 'no talking' vacations. For like a week or more sometimes. Smart guy.
I am looking forward to it someday myself. :D

[peglem]

I understood him to be making an analogy between food intolerance and the way he feels about social interaction- he craves it, but if he indulges it upsets him.

[roadracer]

Jimmy Stewart used to go on 'no talking' vacations. For like a week or more sometimes. Smart guy.
I am on a 'no talking' vacation, it has been about a 25 year long vacation, so I must be a really extra smart guy? lol

[Prot]

I understood him to be making an analogy between food intolerance and the way he feels about social interaction- he craves it, but if he indulges it upsets him.


Crave might be putting it too strongly but you are on the right track.Sometimes i an quite content with my own company and at other times the sense of isolation and loneliness can be very strong.
Most of my interaction with others comes via forums such as these and very little via face to face interactions which is one of the reasons i have been allocated a befriender by a local mental health charity.
I am sure though that if i had face to face interaction with others comparable to my online interactions the same thing would happen.

I am not someone who deliberately seeks to annoy or upset others but sooner or later whatever forum i go on i end up p**ing someone off.
Although i can see the other person is annoyed or upset it's very hard for me to get my head round why they are as i'll be thinking " well i wouldn't be upset by that" . At times i get thrown by people's reactions and responses to me and it can be hard to put myself in the other person's shoes as to why from their perspective those responses and reactions might be occurring.
On one level i can see that people can have a different take on things to me
but on another level am left thinking why should they(ie that's the only way X can be seen) and feel uncomfortable or threatened by a differing opinion.
I am not sure whether that comes into the category of theory of mind difficulties but feel that it might do.

Finally although at times i need to socially engage with others i sense that i am not very adept or skilled at doing so ie i have a tendency to verbally step on people's toes with my size 8 shoes without consciously meaning to; or put to things across in a way that i am told is inappropriate.

Although i need interaction with others i am basically not very good at interacting with others and then end up seeing my anxiety and paranoia levels jump and get agitated and defensive because of situations arising out of those interaction problems.
In my psychiatric outcome scores i score at the worst level for interpersonal orientation(4) and social support network(4)

[tgrimes]

Well, this would continue to be a self-fulfilling prophecy until you stop worrying about it. You are setting yourself up just by mentioning it so much. So, let's say you had developed yourself a simple rule that would prevent you from being flamed, like, (if I had to suggest one it would be no name-calling, I can supply examples through pm if you like)
but just one that is easy to stick to.
Then don't worry about anything else. If you don't focus too much on 'expectations' of yourself, you will begin to totally relax expectations on others. You really can't expect anyone here to respond exactly the way you expected.... because it wouldn't really be interaction then, would it?
It would be something else, and you probably have a better word than me (because I had to look up like three words you used in another thread.)
So, yeah, been meaning to say, thanks for the vocabulary lesson.

[milivica]

Have you ever felt like you were an alien whose landed on earth and shapeshifted into human form and yet you can't quite get to grips with how to be human as opposed to just outwardly looking human?

That should be part of the DSMIV, good description.

I never had an intolerance to people, but, despite my longing to be in the midst of humans, like I saw other humans doing, I found there was a feeling of 'interference' in my intended fun with them, they were also wanting to add their own feelings and ideas to what ever I wanted to do with them. Very aversive to me, considering I had already 'blueprinted' our activity. Humans were more of a prop for me back then I think. I did not consider myself part of the human species. But some parallel being. Very isolated. Sometimes more content to be isolated than have to suppress my irritation and aversion to their unquenchable desire for joint activity, sharing ideas and thoughts, and change to my 'blueprint'.

Now, I gotta say, I have no doubt I'm a human. I enjoy when my thoughts and feelings, merge with others. The activity, or how the activity changes, never matters. It's like in a way, our brains merge. Not physically (ew) but emotionally. People now feel like they enhance everything I do, instead of interfere.