How does a packrat declutter?

[Aspigander]

So a day or two ago my mom mentioned coming over here sometime this evening to help me declutter my bedroom. I mentioned yesterday that I am finally conceding that I am incompetent enough to need a professional cleaning service to help maintain cleanliness in here, but they can do nothing in the bedroom with all the STUFF that is in it. My bedroom kind of doubles as a storage room. To give you an idea, there is a floor path to my bed and that's about it. Other than that, you really wonder just where the floor is.

So I just talked to my mom a little while ago to see about a time. She commented that it might not be done all in one shot, and then came the dreaded words. "You'd have to be willing to throw some things away."

I gasped, winced, and nearly began hyperventilating. By some miracle, I managed to get ahold of the situation and just said "I am not going to hyperventilate. I am not going to hyperventilate. I am not going to hyperventilate. I am not going to hyperventilate." I am SO glad the phone conversation did not end in meltdown.

Thing is, I don't know what to throw away. I can't think of anything that might not come in handy some day. I don't know if I CAN bring myself to throw stuff away. Not to mention, often, my mom's idea and my idea of what to throw out differ. This should be interesting. Hopefully I'll be able avoid meltdown.

Anyone, ASD or NT, have any advice on this one? I don't think I'll have that room totally decluttered, but I'll be happy if we can manage to find a bit more of the floor. Just don't know about throwing stuff away though.

(Just a side note, Roadracer, if you see this, decluttering the bedroom means I'll eventually manage to rescue that stationary bike from it's cluttery tomb. :D)

[peglem]

Make a simple rule for yourself: If you don't have an immediate use for it and haven't used it in the last year-get rid of it. Much of it could be donated to a charity thrift store. That way you don't have to worry about stuff going to waste. And really, its not doing you any good hanging on to it- you can't even get to it if you do need it for something. I used to be a packrat and I still live with 2 packrats...

[Aspigander]

If you don't have an immediate use for it and haven't used it in the last year-get rid of it.

See, intellectually that makes sense. But that feeling of "well I might need it some day" creeps in and rears its ugly head pretty much without fail and I get anxious when it comes to getting rid of something.

Take, for example, my cardboard boxes. I don't have an immediate need for a cardboard box, but you never know when those things might become useful. Heck, I could probably eliminate a lot of the clutter just by ousting all those cardboard boxes, but that old feeling of you never know when I might need them may well stop me.

[peglem]

They're a fire hazard!:D Just trying to show the advantages of shedding them. How hard was it to come by those boxes? If you need boxes any grocery store will give you some, or I see them for free all the time on Craig's list. I read part of an article in OPRAH magazine about hording/unburdening. (only part, because then I was called back into the office) Anyway, try to think about it objectively. How much of that stuff do you really need...and you'll find some stuff that you forgot you had and with all the extra space you'll be able to find and use the stuff you do keep. Really, you'll feel so good when you're done!

[Aspigander]

Well, I can't say the boxes are that hard to come by. lol

One thing that does concern me about fire hazard -- if I'm in the bedroom, and there's a fire in the apartment preventing me from getting out of the bedroom to evacuate the conventional way, I'm really not sure I could manage to get to the window in the bedroom. So that is something to consider.

[roadracer]

Send all the stuff you want to throw out, send it all over to my house, I will take it :D
I am the king of packrats, I actually go threw other peoples garbage when they let me, you wouldnt believe some of the stuff I have found people throwing out, and I love going to garage sales and flea markets to pay for other peoples junk.
It drives my parents crazy when I walk into the house with a arm full of stuff they think is just trash, I always get the "what could you possibly do with that". I could never get ride of my treasures, each one of them tells a story, and I love sitting there looking at them and thinking of the story they tell.
Here is a pic of my room, where I sit at my computer, the only walking space in my room, I actually took the pic from standing on my bed. :o

http://toddmann.smugmug.com/photos/490725326_yua8J-L.jpg

Now my two computers are on the wall there, and all my computer stuff is on the desk, definantly not junk. But look at everything else, the big camera at the top (polaroid land camera from 1940's in mint condition) I got out of the trash :eek: the other camera beside it I got out of the trash, the 1965 beatles album, woodstock 3 record set, collection of expensive very old bottles, digital camera (that works fine) first ever model 'flip' cell phone, the table my lower computer sits on, ALL of that stuff was stuff that people were throwing away. :eek: One mans trash is my down payment on college :D
I have a collection of fine SLR film cameras I have picked up at different yard sales for like $2-3, some of them that sell on ebay for several hundreds of dollars. :p to all the people that think I just have a bunch of usless junk

[MomOTwins]

I can relate to the problem, as I'm married to a packrat and I'm a reformed packrat!

I'm brutal with clothes, so that is where I'd start. If you haven't worn something at least once over the past 2 years, give it away. I know, this will include stuff that you really loved when you were younger or smaller (We all grow up, and some of us grow out, too!). If you find this really difficult, due to attachment to a specific item, limit yourself to keeping one box for the ONE special item and don't toss that thing out. [Notice that I say "one special item". This rule needs to be followed!]

With other things, box up all of the "maybe I'll use it sometime" items, label the box, and then store the boxes in the basement/attic/storage locker. If it hasn't been opened up in *** years (you get to decide how many years, but I'd go for 2 years), then you have to agree to toss out the contents when that time comes. Caution - You need to REALLY pay attention to how you sort things and label the boxes. Example - Put all the books in boxes of their own, don't mix them with art projects, photos, or other stuff, as you may actually want those books sometime in the future and you'll have a hard time tracking them down if they are just tossed in with other things.

Our kids (12-year-old twin boys) have inherited Dad's packrat gene, so I have to do a big sweep through the house every 6 months and collect toys that have been sitting around, pack them into big Rubbermaid boxes, stash them in the basement, and wait to see if anyone asks for them. If they don't ask for them over the next 6 months, they get donated to relatives or charity. The only things that I've had to pull back are things like Legos and Brio trains and a few old favorite videos, so I think I've done pretty well with weaning them from their outgrown stuff.

Good luck! If you want your mom to help you with this, you may want to put together a checklist or detail sheet on how you want to go about doing the job. Once she is clear on your approach, it may make the process easier for both of you!

Kim

[Aspigander]

Roadracer,
Wow! That's a lot of stuff. lol I take it you like to collect gadgets.

MomOTwins,
Yeah, a checklist might be a good idea, or collaborate over what we're doing before we do it. Otherwise she'll wind up throwing something out that I may or may not agree to, and then that really messes things up.

[Keggy]

Peter Walsh is great at teaching how to declutter as well as inspiring it. You can google him, probably find tips on Oprahs website, and he probably has a book as well.
I have tivo and when he is on I save the show for awhile. All I need to do is click play and he gets me going in a jiff.

[Aspigander]

Thanks, Keggy. :)

Fortunately, I have a reprieve. It's pretty late in the evening, my mom's running out of energy, and probably a good thing too, because I had a headache earlier and I think trying to decide what I can let go of coming off of a headache, this late in the day, is probably begging for an anxiety meltdown. So nothing happens tonight.

[milivica]

RR, wow you are very tidy! No piles of stuff even. I have the same Woodstock album you have too.

AspieG, I was going to say the same thing Peglem did about if you have not used it in a year, get rid of it. Especially if it is something you can borrow from your parents.

As for any fire hazard...think about how you'd feel if your animals were hurt! Think of all the extra space they'll enjoy too. I bet for 'them' you might find it easier to declutter, than just for the sake of decluttering.

Get rid of all 'duplicates'...for instance I had like 6 hammers and 10 wrenches, so got rid of all but 1 of each.

Clothes...if you have too many (not my problem thank goodness) then for everything you keep, get rid of 2 things, or 3 if you have massive clothes.

Though I'm somewhat a packrat, I feel like my head is clogged when I have too much stuff, I think about how great it will feel to CLEAR my head by clearing my clutter, that helps me. I most definitely had the 'what if I need it later' panic, but knowing the great feeling of mental clarity helps me get over that. I feel 'lighter', I feel less anxiety cause I have less crap to own so I feel less overwhelmed.

Ya know how some people get a 'high' from exercise? I get a 'high' from being in a clutter free room. So, I guess I'm saying I can focus on the 'high' I know I'll have and the feeling of clarity I know I'll have, and that gets me through the getting rid of stuff.

A show you might love, with people/packrats that feel like you do, is Clean House. Maybe you can google and find some episodes. I'm telling ya, these are some serious packrats. But wait till you see their home after they force themselves to give up the clutter.

I do hear you about feeling you'll need something in the future, my weakness is lumber and tools. Just last Saturday, I donated all kinds of lovely plywood that's been sitting around here since...2001???...I mean, the gardens we are volunteering at needed plywood, so I was able to do it. Sometimes it's easier to give things up if you know they'll be used and not trashed.

We have a truck from a Good Will type place around here that will come and pick up your junk, Easter Seals will too. They can make money to help others with your stuff, and if you record every single thing you donate you'll be shocked how it adds up on what you get back for taxes.

[Isabelle]

oohhh! i am so totally your opposite......sorry but the idea of having a little piece of litter on the floors gets my sense of cleanliness up in arms....i can't stand crowding, no clutter for me, i am queen of spring cleaning, everything out....OUT!!! i love the dump where i take garbage....spring is here.....open windows, doors, get the vinegar out.....i need open spaces....

http://www.mahalo.com/Compulsive_Hoarding

are you her?

[roadracer]

RR, wow you are very tidy! No piles of stuff even. I have the same Woodstock album you have too.

I tend to keep all my stuff neatly organized, but I have so so much of it, you should see the spare room in our house, it is packed floor to celling solid with my stuff, but everything has some sort of value to it, it is not like you see on tv with the people hording garbage. One of these days when it become to much stuff or I really need the money I will start putting stuff on ebay.

[milivica]

I tend to keep all my stuff neatly organized, but I have so so much of it, you should see the spare room in our house, it is packed floor to celling solid with my stuff, but everything has some sort of value to it, it is not like you see on tv with the people hording garbage. One of these days when it become to much stuff or I really need the money I will start putting stuff on ebay.

I'm jealous! I don't have lots of stuff, but I always have 'piles' of things either I didn't put back, or paperwork especially, or clothes that need mending, on the coffee table which I finally put behind the couch (cause it always has crap on it) or on the dining table, or counter - though I do manage to tidy up the kitchen counter daily, actually the kitchen is the one place I can keep clean, even clean and sort the inside if the fridge and the cabinets regularly. But clothes, paperwork, that just seems to be my downfall big time.