amputee1995
04-27-2009, 08:36 PM
Hello my dear friends. I hope you all have had a wonderful day today. I have tried to keep myself rather busy today just so I wouldn't sit around thinking about things I don't neeed to be thinking about.
One thing I sort of dread though, is the marraige counselor wants me to come see him one more time this coming Wednesday. I emailed him and told him I didn't see any reason at all to continue, because Kathy has proclaimed our marraige is over if I don't do all the things I mentioned to you all.
I am NOT going to stop seeing Dr's I have been going to for years. Iam NOT going to become a member of Hallaluja Acres just because she happens to be one. If I take a notion to eat a twinkie, then Iam going to eat a twinkie. Her reasons to end our marraige are about as riduculas as I have EVER heard in my life.
I DO love Kathy, and I guess I always will. But she has allowed herself to be overtaken and brainwashed by this group of people, and I will not be able to change her mind. I know Iam a good man. I know if she had the ability to see it she would see she is letting a good man slip between her fingers. Iam by no means perfect. But I would have treated her like a man ought to treat his wife.
I would have stuck by her through anything. Iam not the one leaving, she is. I know she will never find anyone who loves her as much as I do, because I know how much I love her. I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. But I also cannot live life some other way than I was meant to live it. What tears me up though, is WHY could I not find someone who would just let me love them and be good to them? I see folks all over living with spouses that treat them like dirt, and they love them right on. Some ladies even get beat up by the husbands, and they stay with them. What I just cannot understand for the life of me is, I have so much love and comnpassion in my heart to be the husband I need to be, and want to have a wife I can treat like queen. But it seems there is no one for me. I just cannot make that work in my mind somehow.
I don't have a lot of money nor a lot of possesions. But I do have a huge heart. Now that this marraige is going to fail, and it looks like it has, I think it is a very very remote chance that I will ever come across any other woman at this stage of the game. The two things I have always wanted and desired my entire life was number one, to have some blood kids of my own. Here Iam 57 years old and I have never produced any children of my own. I have raised two kids of someone elses, and got them grown and both of them turned out pretty good the way I brought them up.
I went to all their school functions and littleleague games and such. Now none of them even come to see me. What hurt me more than anything was, the grandbaby Ashton. Ashton has always thought I was her blood Paw Paw. That little girl adored me. I was there the day she was born. I had already had my leg amputated before she was born so she didn't know any different.
She would come up to me and say "Paw Paw" take your leg off and get down in the floor and play with me. I uesd to spend hours playing with her, and blowing bubbles and board games with her. When the first marrige ended, my adopted daughter brought her to see me on the week ends. They would never stay but about 30 minutes, and when my daughter would say its time to go, Ashton would just cry her little eyes out. I can still here her saying, "I want to stay with Paw Paw" Well, it didn't take very long and the every weekend 30 minute visits changed to every other week end. Then every two or three weeks visit. Then after only about 6 months, they just never came back again. I guess it just got too inconvienient to bring her. I don't know what they told Ashton.
They don't have enough sense to know that not only was my heart torn up, but Ashton's was too. Iam going to show up at that appointment with the counselor Wednesday, because I think I need to go see him one last time out of respect for him seeing us as long as he did. But thats it. I have to start getting over Kathy and NOW is the time to start. She is never going to be a wife to me unless she can control every thing Iam or do. That is NOT a marraige.
Don't worry, I will get cheered up here in a few days. But right now everything is so RAW and the reason this marraige is ending is simply stupid. It hurts and I can't help it right now. At least I still have my little Miss Angel. I have to go to Greenville South Carolina Friday to have some adjustments made to my new prosthesis. I will have to take a picture of it and post it for you to see. When I went to start on this new leg, I was in the waiting room, and they had some magazines that are just for amputees. Well I was flipping through one, and I saw a prosthesis that someone had made that had a design on it. It was a patriotic design. It was reallt bueatiful. I didn't know they could do that.
So I asked my Prosthetist if she could do something like that for me, and she said yes. So I have a patriotic leg now. On the front it has the Statue of Liberty, on the side it has the Washington Monument, and also the capital building, and also Mount Rushmore with all the presidents heads in the rock. I think it also has a US flag, and I believe the Golden Gate Bridge. It is nice if you ask me. Now that it is summer time, I can wear shorts and show it off. I have already had a lot of folks stop me and ask me about it.It is my 7th prosthesis since my amputation, and the first with a design like this.
Well, I better go check on my little girl. I appreciate each and every one of you. You have been so nice and kind to me. I will get it together here before too long. The wounds are just fresh right now and Iam going to have to get the healing started. I hate to admit this and me being a man, but I have cried until I just cannot cry anymore. I really loved this woman. So many men don't even try to treat their wives in a respectable manner. I have always wanted to be a special husband to a wife that loved me for me. I just have such a hard time wondering why it isn't going to happen.
Well, like I said in a post very shortly when I first started to post here, Iam going to go get me a piece of Chocolate pie. I have one piece left in the fridge. I bet that will put a smile on my face. I think its a BIG piece too. Ha Ha. Sweet dreams everyone and know that Ole Don and his wonder dog, appreciate you all.
Your friends Don & "Miss Angel"
One thing I sort of dread though, is the marraige counselor wants me to come see him one more time this coming Wednesday. I emailed him and told him I didn't see any reason at all to continue, because Kathy has proclaimed our marraige is over if I don't do all the things I mentioned to you all.
I am NOT going to stop seeing Dr's I have been going to for years. Iam NOT going to become a member of Hallaluja Acres just because she happens to be one. If I take a notion to eat a twinkie, then Iam going to eat a twinkie. Her reasons to end our marraige are about as riduculas as I have EVER heard in my life.
I DO love Kathy, and I guess I always will. But she has allowed herself to be overtaken and brainwashed by this group of people, and I will not be able to change her mind. I know Iam a good man. I know if she had the ability to see it she would see she is letting a good man slip between her fingers. Iam by no means perfect. But I would have treated her like a man ought to treat his wife.
I would have stuck by her through anything. Iam not the one leaving, she is. I know she will never find anyone who loves her as much as I do, because I know how much I love her. I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. But I also cannot live life some other way than I was meant to live it. What tears me up though, is WHY could I not find someone who would just let me love them and be good to them? I see folks all over living with spouses that treat them like dirt, and they love them right on. Some ladies even get beat up by the husbands, and they stay with them. What I just cannot understand for the life of me is, I have so much love and comnpassion in my heart to be the husband I need to be, and want to have a wife I can treat like queen. But it seems there is no one for me. I just cannot make that work in my mind somehow.
I don't have a lot of money nor a lot of possesions. But I do have a huge heart. Now that this marraige is going to fail, and it looks like it has, I think it is a very very remote chance that I will ever come across any other woman at this stage of the game. The two things I have always wanted and desired my entire life was number one, to have some blood kids of my own. Here Iam 57 years old and I have never produced any children of my own. I have raised two kids of someone elses, and got them grown and both of them turned out pretty good the way I brought them up.
I went to all their school functions and littleleague games and such. Now none of them even come to see me. What hurt me more than anything was, the grandbaby Ashton. Ashton has always thought I was her blood Paw Paw. That little girl adored me. I was there the day she was born. I had already had my leg amputated before she was born so she didn't know any different.
She would come up to me and say "Paw Paw" take your leg off and get down in the floor and play with me. I uesd to spend hours playing with her, and blowing bubbles and board games with her. When the first marrige ended, my adopted daughter brought her to see me on the week ends. They would never stay but about 30 minutes, and when my daughter would say its time to go, Ashton would just cry her little eyes out. I can still here her saying, "I want to stay with Paw Paw" Well, it didn't take very long and the every weekend 30 minute visits changed to every other week end. Then every two or three weeks visit. Then after only about 6 months, they just never came back again. I guess it just got too inconvienient to bring her. I don't know what they told Ashton.
They don't have enough sense to know that not only was my heart torn up, but Ashton's was too. Iam going to show up at that appointment with the counselor Wednesday, because I think I need to go see him one last time out of respect for him seeing us as long as he did. But thats it. I have to start getting over Kathy and NOW is the time to start. She is never going to be a wife to me unless she can control every thing Iam or do. That is NOT a marraige.
Don't worry, I will get cheered up here in a few days. But right now everything is so RAW and the reason this marraige is ending is simply stupid. It hurts and I can't help it right now. At least I still have my little Miss Angel. I have to go to Greenville South Carolina Friday to have some adjustments made to my new prosthesis. I will have to take a picture of it and post it for you to see. When I went to start on this new leg, I was in the waiting room, and they had some magazines that are just for amputees. Well I was flipping through one, and I saw a prosthesis that someone had made that had a design on it. It was a patriotic design. It was reallt bueatiful. I didn't know they could do that.
So I asked my Prosthetist if she could do something like that for me, and she said yes. So I have a patriotic leg now. On the front it has the Statue of Liberty, on the side it has the Washington Monument, and also the capital building, and also Mount Rushmore with all the presidents heads in the rock. I think it also has a US flag, and I believe the Golden Gate Bridge. It is nice if you ask me. Now that it is summer time, I can wear shorts and show it off. I have already had a lot of folks stop me and ask me about it.It is my 7th prosthesis since my amputation, and the first with a design like this.
Well, I better go check on my little girl. I appreciate each and every one of you. You have been so nice and kind to me. I will get it together here before too long. The wounds are just fresh right now and Iam going to have to get the healing started. I hate to admit this and me being a man, but I have cried until I just cannot cry anymore. I really loved this woman. So many men don't even try to treat their wives in a respectable manner. I have always wanted to be a special husband to a wife that loved me for me. I just have such a hard time wondering why it isn't going to happen.
Well, like I said in a post very shortly when I first started to post here, Iam going to go get me a piece of Chocolate pie. I have one piece left in the fridge. I bet that will put a smile on my face. I think its a BIG piece too. Ha Ha. Sweet dreams everyone and know that Ole Don and his wonder dog, appreciate you all.
Your friends Don & "Miss Angel"