opinions,please?

[vette]

Hi folks,
I hope this is ok, my posting here, but this is a question that i've had for a loooooooooooong time now. Just HOW does one "categorise" onesself? OK, that doesn't make a lot of sense... what i mean is... how do you "decide" whether you're straight or bi?

OK, so, let's lay this out more simply... i've considered myself hetero all my life, except for having had a same**** on/off/on relationship for a period of a couple of years, (and would continue it again tomorrow given the chance!) but then i find that the more i look around & think about it, the more folks of my own gender - & the fewer of the opposite - i find hot, so do i now need to reassess myself!?! MAN, is this a REALLY dim post, or what?!?!?!

Right, i'll go,'cos i'm hardly making sense to ME, never mind anyone else! Sorry for the rambling! :o

Be well,

Y'Vette

[AncientWolf]

y'vette, I don't see your post or question as either stupid or rambling. It is very much a valid question for someone in your situation. Today's society makes it just that much more difficult for someone to apply the labels gay or bisexual on themselves.

No one can know you better than you can know yourself. Therefore I am not qualified to say absolutely you are straight, gay or bisexual. However, your descriptions of your feelings and attractions suggest that you are bisexual. I have known at least a few people who reject the labels altogether and just call themselves "sexual."

I suppose the simple answer to your question would be, "if you're attracted to both genders you're bisexual and that's when and how you know." I knew by 6th grade. I actually sat and had a talk with myself because I was increasingly finding myself interested in the other boys and couldn't even make myself attracted to girls in that manner. I decided I was probably bisexual and would start being attracted to girls as I got older. It never happened and by late high school I accepted that I'm gay. Not everyone has it anywhere close to as easy as that.

The fact is, whether you are gay, straight or bisexual, you are still the same person you've always been. Accepting a part of yourself you didn't accept totally before is a growing experience and even a liberating experience, but it doesn't change who you are inside....except maybe less burdened.

I wish you the best in figuring out who you are, not just in this part of your journey but in total.

Namaste,

Daniel

[Cutter]

Sometimes I think that it's easiest just to say, "I'm sexual. Everything above and beyond that is mood dependant."

That said, many will argue that being "Gay" (etc.) is more than just about whom you sleep with. It's an "identity".

I'd think that, in choosing your label, it's not so much about your preferences or actions, but more about how you want others to categorize you. Your label "announces" you. It tells people things about you before you even open your mouth.

[mariah]

Sometimes I think that it's easiest just to say, "I'm sexual. Everything above and beyond that is mood dependant."

That said, many will argue that being "Gay" (etc.) is more than just about whom you sleep with. It's an "identity".

I'd think that, in choosing your label, it's not so much about your preferences or actions, but more about how you want others to categorize you. Your label "announces" you. It tells people things about you before you even open your mouth.


I read some of your blog, started to think at first, maybe I don't want to, but I kept reading."It is a want as well, but needs are more important than wants." Good quote, I understand it. Sometimes I think I don't understand anything, other times I don't care. I looked at some of your pics, it's late and I'm tired and in pain, I'll visit again.
Been a member here a long time, got demoted? back to new member when the board crashed.

[AncientWolf]

I read some of your blog, started to think at first, maybe I don't want to, but I kept reading."It is a want as well, but needs are more important than wants." Good quote, I understand it. Sometimes I think I don't understand anything, other times I don't care. I looked at some of your pics, it's late and I'm tired and in pain, I'll visit again.
Been a member here a long time, got demoted? back to new member when the board crashed.


You weren't demoted. We all had to restart as new members.


Namaste