Reasons to Choose Life

[bizi]

Reasons To Choose Life

Because you are worth it and worthy of a better life.
bizi

[waves]

My replies are inline, in this color.

I found rivers of hatred, swamps of ridicule and abuse. I found brambles and snares of denial and hopelessness.

After many years, I escaped to a clearing. The gentle breeze pushed away the old things and cleansed me. I drank in the fragrance of hope and saw with new eyes the beauty around me. I held the distant rainbow in the palm of my hand, and strength soared through me. The evolutive contrast in the eye of the beholder reminds me of a short story: one of the Invisible Cities described in a book of the same name, by Italo Calvino. It also reminds me of the Alfred Lord Tennyson's Tale of The Ancient Mariner.

I look back and see a signpost .... Pointing to the way I've come, it says, "No longer an option." Pointing to the path I now take, it says, "Your life." yeepppp heck darn it, stuck with it. no reason, just status quo, and so:[/SIZE]

I hoist my knapsack and grip my walking stick. And I begin my journey once again, thinking to myself, chicken, chicken. too chicken to dive off the path, the status quo, the pain. :(

__________________
Happiness is an inside job.
__________________
The inside isn't always up to it.

http://www.suicidehotline.com/
i will check international service availability.

[Mari]

Oh Dear, Waves,
Yes, check the international hotline services.

I stay worried about you. You know that I hope.

You have the soul and the gifts of a poet.
I always enjoy hearing from you, even when you are writing about how low you are. I apologize if that is a bad thing.

Mari

[Mari]

[B]http://depression.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ/Ya&sdn=depression&cdn=health&tm=23&f=21&tt=14&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.befrienders.org/support/helplines.asp -- international


Italy:
Centres

Samaritans - ONLUS
Via San Giovanni in Laterano 250
00184
ROME
Contact by: Face to Face - Phone
Helpline 1: 800 86 00 22
Helpline 2: Face to face by appointment only
Website: www.samaritans-onlus.it
Opening hours:
Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun: 13:00 - 22:00

NON-MEMBER HELPLINES
Telefono Amico Italia
CP 337
38100
Trento
Contact by: - Phone
Helpline 1: 199 284 284
Website: www.telefonoamico.it

[Mari]

W,
I once called a hotline here and felt worse after I hung up because the young woman on the other end of the phone basically told me to make an appointment with my pdoc.

I hope that most people have more training and compassion.
Mari

[waves]

oh hi Mari

it is so nice to have you here

the perfectionist in me is still fiddling with my post. something to do with legibility yet a desire for hiddenness so fiddle fiddle i should stop.

how are you? are you guys starting to breathe better with the move... or is the organizational stuff hitting just now... moves have so many phases.

i worry about you too. i don't think it is bad for us to worry about each other. it just means we care.

it also means we care a little about ourselves, at least a little, because that is a seed necessary for caring about others. this is a very deep reason to live that no one can take from us.

Mari, thanks for the research and feedback on your experience too. sorry that happened to you.

Most of all, thanks for being here.

a hug

~ waves ~

~

[Mari]

it also means we care a little about ourselves, at least a little, because that is a seed necessary for caring about others. this is a very deep reason to live that no one can take from us.

Waves,
You are right. Thank you for this.


We did the move fine enough. But I did not bother with some boxes. In a few weeks I will get back to the unpacking. I might wish I had furnitiure to put the stuff in. ....all very strange. We have more square footage, but the stuff is still a problem.

Well actually the kitchen is pretty big. And the washroom and pantry are nice. Hubby doesn't follow basic rules or organization. If I want something I have to ask him where it is because it is not in a place where a normal person might put it.

He likes to store food in the refrigerator. How about weekold turkey gravy anyone? Or week old ground turkey mixture with rice.
He tells me he promises to "cook" the food before he eats it. But it is a week old!!!!

Also, time to clean now. Or call in the professionals. ....Still working on which way it will happen. I don't care enough now to push. I'm focusing on trying to function. And it is working. I am functioning at a certain level.;)

Mari

[waves]

Oh, I am glad you are holding your own it sounds like.

Thank goodness i somehow tore through the small number of boxes that made it up (untrue - we still have some shoved under tables and... nevermind). Ironically, i'm lucky that they are not around me as with you, but out of sight and mind, in the cellar. our access is inconvenient either way it sounds like... cellar is 4 floors down, and some ppl helped with packing so i don't really know what's where either... and probably won't try to find out for a year or so knowing my history

anyway i am glad you are at par. i will catch up more reading at NeuroTalk I have been remiss as such.

take care

~ waves ~ 5 minutes to full rate phone dialup EEEK !!! dialing off NOW!

[mags]

This is wonderful...I am confused on who originally wrote this, but it speaks to me! Even though I am going through some really hard times right now, I am probably more positive about myself every day. This really lit me up and almost brought a tear to my eye. :D

I found rivers of hatred, swamps of ridicule and abuse. I found brambles and snares of denial and hopelessness.

After many years, I escaped to a clearing. The gentle breeze pushed away the old things and cleansed me. I drank in the fragrance of hope and saw with new eyes the beauty around me. I held the distant rainbow in the palm of my hand, and strength soared through me.

[waves]

dear Mags,

(((hugs))) it is so good to hear from you again - and that you have found a good therapist and feeling BETTER! :)

Bizi originally posted pter's full story (i only quoted piecemeal parts), in the introductory post to this thread thread... but it's gone? I'm conFUSED. Bizi?

Mags, really glad you checked in, and keep us posted. :)

~ waves ~

~

[bizi]

Hi Mags!!!!
I am so glad to see a post from you!!!!!
happy that you said you are doing better...what is helping if you don't mind sharing?
(((HUGS))))
bizi
edited because I just read your other post!
so glad that you are liking your new therapist....
therapy is such hard and needed work.
WE are worth it...
YOU are worth it!

[marijo]

Just happened upon your posts all of you. I write poetry only when in a certain way with myself. At other times I just cant. I have had several published in one way or another. The best was a poem of mine, in a hardback voliume of poetry, and on the facing page, is a tribute to Princess Di.
Thats not my main point however, and I will be very brief because I'm desperate for some shut eye.
All the time I was growing up, I knew I was the odd one out. Coudnt conform to the norm, failed more than half of my school exams, etc etc. Then I had a major mental breakdown, lasted for 4 months in the critical stage. Then I sorted out my life. Subsequently I have had, and up to this time many many kickbacks. Ultimately, I have found myself able to accept this particular of my absence ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sdz

[bizi]

WElcome and glad that you found us.
bizi