Sunday Bum Day

[resqgirl911]

I have ran my butt off in the ER the past couple of days. It seems like all I do is spend my time working. I need the motivation to pack so that I can move out. I am getting a new laptop Tuesday that my dad financed for me, don't know that it is such a good idea. It only has a 12 in. screen, but I guess it will be ok. He wants my latpop that is still broken to take to work. I am feeling very tired, and ashamed of myself. All day I have second guessed myself and I feel like crawling in a hole to sleep. I don't think I will ever be able to be a nurse. I have felt like crap in general the past couple of weeks, but I can't see anyone till I move out. I don't really think it will help at this point anyway.

[Boopers]

It sounds like you are working too hard. Is there a way you can slow down a bit? From your post, it is sounding like things are beginning to feel overwhelming for you.
That is cool you are getting a new laptop. I hope you enjoy it. Where are you moving to? I always hated moving. It is alot of work to move, not to mention expensive.
I hope everything turns out good for you.
Linda :)

[Singing]

Dear Resq ~

I think Linda is right when she says you are working too hard... with trying to get packed up at home and work full-time. Either one would be enough to tire anyone out and you are doing both.

Dear girl, please don't be ashamed of yourself. Be proud ~ you are doing what you are meant to do ~ grow up, go to school, get a job, find your own place and learn to live on your own... it's the natural order of things, the way things are in healthy families. Guilt is a powerful thing to have dumped on you but you cannot let anyone use it as a tool to control you. You've given so much of yourself for so long. It's time to take care of yourself now ~ physically, emotionally and spiritually.

For a long time, I was basically an emotional blank piece of paper. I literally didn't think I'd ever experience "happy" again. Slowly, I'm finding "happy", but finding it by allowing myself to be quiet and being away from negative influences.

You are a nurse and you will make it there, too. The first while of being a new nurse was that way for me, too. As you keep learning, your confidence level will grow. I hope you can be moved out ASAP ~ do you have some friends to help you? Once you start getting more rest, work will go much better, too. I don't know how you've managed on so little rest and so little time to yourself. Actually, you've done remarkably well for all that.

Hang in there... you are on your way to better things.

Sending hugs !

Renee