Just sad.

[newlyb12def]

I withdrew from nursing school today. Really sad for someone who strongly identifies as a nurse...

I spoke to the girls in my class (they're all dolls) today. I did not want there to be any secrets or rumors. I was upfront and honest (the abridged version) and even explained my up-coming surgery in detail. The school and my classmates have been extremely supportive.

I had to come to terms with this decision piece by piece, and my instructors helped me make the decision on my own. If my new DR can get my MS under control, I will return to the program next January. But if it's against my new neurologist's opinion and/or my disease remains active I will use my college credits towards another degree. I just need to be better.

No matter how bad I wanted it, my body is telling me that is just too much. I didn't feel stressed, but maybe I was? Maybe the neck-originating pain contributed? Only time will tell, but I look forward to the possibility of reduced pain after surgery because I can't even sit without agony.
Pre-op testing revealed ANOTHER UTI, although I tested negative at the beginning of my relapse. I'm glad I told them when they called with that report that I'm allergic to cipro--- that's what they had called in. I'm on antibiotics (bactrim ds) now and surgery is still on schedule for Wednesday.

Under increased pressure, I've begun the filing process for disability. I think that this is above all, the saddest revelation. I'm 28. I hope that I'm denied and am some how able to find a desk job where I can make enough to contribute to my household. I have a feeling that I don't need to get into the particular emotions involved here.

I have no idea how I've held it all together up to this point, and I don't even feel a hint of an impending breakdown. Could I be THAT resilient?
Or is zoloft THAT good?

I am walking for MS on April 18th in Nashua, NH. While I hope to walk it, I may have to be carried or wheeled part of the way. It's the point.
I can do nothing else to affect change for myself or a cure. I feel like I need to do something to actively revolt against THIS.
-Kay

[Annie1234]

Kay, I'm sorry but I cannot read your post without paragraph breaks -- could you please consider editing it to include them? Thank you. ~Annie

[brog64]

Hi Kay,

I am so sorry to hear about your need to withdraw from nursing.

I was a student nurse too and had to make the same decision 18 months ago. It is something that really upset me and another example of MS taking things away from me.

But there was no way I could stand and walk for an 8 hour shift. I know it was the right decision as now I use a rolly walker for short distances and am getting my first wheelchair next week.

I am still looking for the right replacement for nursing in my life but haven't found it yet.

I hope your health improves and you find a satisfying course to study.

Belinda

[lady_express_44]

The silver lining is that you didn't pay, and stress, through getting your education . . . then have to give it all up within a few years anyway.

Ok, so that's not such a GREAT silver lining, but perhaps if you had gone through that, you'd have another thing to feel resentful about.

Basically, that is what I went through. I finished my education in 1987, had spent 100's of thousands of $ doing so (including supporting myself month-to-month through that period), then 4 yrs later @ 31 yrs old, I was knocked down by MS.

I was REALLY mad. The schooling I had opted for was extremely grueling, and I quit every single day that I attended ... and that was before I was limiited by MS. Then the next day I would get up, and continue on, only to say I wasn't going back the NEXT day. :cool: It was the most incredible accomplishment to get through that, especially given the childhood demons I had to overcome to achieve what I did ...

When all was said and done, I did get to use those skills to GET jobs that I COULD do for the next 14 yrs, and I was paid premium $$ to do pretty dead-end work. No, it's wasn't very intrinsically satisfying, but I carried on as long as I could and I eventually medically retired on a reasonable long-term disability pension.

I remember when you were entirely determined to do this, Kay, no matter what other sacrifices you had to make to accomplish your career goals. I think you have come to realize that your health, marriage and future as a wife (sister, daughter, friend and potentially mother are more important at this point). There is still a good chance you may be able to get back to school in Jan, and/or find something more suitable . . . and you have the right attitude to make the best of whatever situation you may be faced with.

Take care of YOU right now.

Cherie

[cricket52]

I'm sorry you had to join those of us who had to give up our dreams before they came to fruition.

You are bright and compassionate. MS has not diminished who you are. Hopefully in time it will settle and you will be able to accomplish your goals.

[agate]

Kay, this is too bad, but you did have to do what you felt was best for you at this time.

I don't know how comforting this will be, but many of us on this board have had to change our ambitions and plans for our lives drastically thanks to MS. A few have already posted in this thread, and I'm another.

Though my field wasn't nursing, I've seen other people give up on nursing because they hadn't realized just how physically demanding it can be.

Good luck with your surgery--and I hope the UTI clears up soon.

[Jules A]

I'm so sorry to read this but I understand. Hang in there and please keep us posted. Hugs, Jules

[newlyb12def]

It was not an easy decision to make, but I did feel some relief after.
Thank you all.
-Kay

[Abby2006]

Sorry to hear Kay

Abby

[LaCeli]

Your not alone. Every once in a while MS robs us. You [U]have to [U]keep on keeping on.

Thoughts and prayers. Don't let MS win, always have the last word.

[newlyb12def]

Thanks for the support Abby and LaCeli.