My wife has MS and refuses treatment.

[grendel]

Just a quick into, my wife of 14 years was diagnosed with MS last fall. She has had significant attacks and has several lesion in her brain.
This has resulted in occasional physical issues (weakness, numbness, fatigue, eye problems) and a shift mentally where she became paranoid, depressed, occasionally manic, and has demanded divorce.

I am here to look for advice on how to help my wife and how to get her to accept treatment for the MS and for the mental disorders caused by MS. So far she refuses treatment...

[LIZARD]

Is it possible she's in denial and just needs time? I know the sooner, the better, but it sounds like she may not have fully accepted it yet.



LIZARD :)

[grendel]

Is it possible she's in denial and just needs time? I know the sooner, the better, but it sounds like she may not have fully accepted it yet.



LIZARD :)


I think this is probably the case.
If it were me, it would be one thing to be diagnosed, and another to be reminded daily by administering medication to myself. When there are no physical symptoms she can forget she has the disease.

Unfortunately it is still progressing, more rapidly than if she medicated. It is also putting huge stress on our marriage. The therapist believes I might have to wait until the disease getd much worse, at which point she will finally accept it 100% and begin medication.

I still very much would like her to start sooner rather than later, for her, our daughter's, and my sake.

[LIZARD]

I feel for you. :( I have always had neuro issues, so in a sense (even though I was very ignorant about them for a long time and was fortunate enough to do really well during that time), I was lucky because I didn't know what it's like to lose ability. Right now, I'm battling autoimmune hell :rolleyes:, but I can still make myself do what needs doing.

She's probably imagining the worst case scenario--that she'll deteriorate and be a burden to you, so that by refusing treatment, she'll go faster, but the fact is that some types of MS can be lived with very well. If she loves you and your child, she'll need to see that and take action.

Encourage her to make an appt, and make time to go with her. Have questions ready. Ask about treatment options, and encourage her to help you make the list. You both need to educate yourselves and work through this together. If you show her that you're a willing partner in her treatment, and she learns that there are options other than sitting in a bed rotting, she may face it with greater optimism and even vigor. :)

*hug and good luck!

LIZARD :)

[grendel]

Thank you very much LIZ, all the best to you.

A Japanese friend found a top researcher and doctor in Tokyo for me today. Perhaps my wife will see him...

[LIZARD]

I'm so glad I could help, even in a small way. :) Good luck to you both, and please check in some time and let me know how it went.


*hug

LIZARD :)

[Buttons2]

I'd just like to suggest that your wife join BT. I'd imagine denial has been discussed alot here & for many of us just knowing we are not alone in our fears,etc. has been a tremendous help. Wishing you both better days ahead.

We have a very active group on the Emotional Support forum & would love to have either you or your wife join us.

Good luck.....

[macoutlaw@mac.com]

Thank you very much LIZ, all the best to you.

A Japanese friend found a top researcher and doctor in Tokyo for me today. Perhaps my wife will see him...

Grendel,
I hope, and my prayers are with your family, in it's entirety!

An illness, when chronic like this, as you've discussed can do very unusual things to a person's thinking. What they show, can be the opposite of what they feel, or not. But, you are determined, or you wouldn't be here.
I think that your wife and daughter are Lucky, to have you!

I wish you all the best!

Pete
asb

[Buttons2]

Grendel,I sent you a PM.......