Silver_Wolf_Paws
02-26-2009, 10:00 AM
I had been here before, but I tried to remember my stuff and log in, but it wouldnt let me. I just decided to make a new account. My name is Danielle. Im twenty years old and was premature at birth, resulting in brain damage/ brain bleed.
I now have hydrocephalus and it really affects my everyday life.
People constantly tell me its all in my head, but I know its not...they just make me sound crazy.
I have depression, anxiety and bi-polar disorder. And I have hypochondria, which my friends used to make fun of me for. =[
The doctors have me on Lexapro, Abilify and I take Ativan when needed.
They've been talking about a shunt for awhile, which scares me to death.
But I guess it has more cons than pros. They've told me that it could possibly start another brain bleed or something.
The reason I WANT to get it done is because Im basically seeing everything like Im dreaming.
And this may seem a little stupid, but after seeing the matrix, it scared me to think that everyone I meet could just be a figment of my imagination.
I cant explain it.
Its like everything is TOO vivid. But that just the pressure thats being put on my brain from the access fluid.
It still feels real and its so scary.
I've thought about dying a lot in the past just to see if I would wake up and see normal again.
My anxiety is so bad, I cant drive and I cant go out of the house alone.
I feel like Im stuck and it'll never get any better.
Sometimes I feel like Im going crazy. And it scares me. A lot.
Sorry for the long intro. If this is in the wrong place, feel free to move it.
Nice to meet you all.
I now have hydrocephalus and it really affects my everyday life.
People constantly tell me its all in my head, but I know its not...they just make me sound crazy.
I have depression, anxiety and bi-polar disorder. And I have hypochondria, which my friends used to make fun of me for. =[
The doctors have me on Lexapro, Abilify and I take Ativan when needed.
They've been talking about a shunt for awhile, which scares me to death.
But I guess it has more cons than pros. They've told me that it could possibly start another brain bleed or something.
The reason I WANT to get it done is because Im basically seeing everything like Im dreaming.
And this may seem a little stupid, but after seeing the matrix, it scared me to think that everyone I meet could just be a figment of my imagination.
I cant explain it.
Its like everything is TOO vivid. But that just the pressure thats being put on my brain from the access fluid.
It still feels real and its so scary.
I've thought about dying a lot in the past just to see if I would wake up and see normal again.
My anxiety is so bad, I cant drive and I cant go out of the house alone.
I feel like Im stuck and it'll never get any better.
Sometimes I feel like Im going crazy. And it scares me. A lot.
Sorry for the long intro. If this is in the wrong place, feel free to move it.
Nice to meet you all.