Cry Tears
11-17-2006, 02:33 PM
I wrote this over 10 years ago after a 10 year struggle with illness.
Shattered Crystals
By Cheryl Young
My first introduction into the beautifully crafted Swavrsky crystals was a 25th wedding anniversary gift from my mother and stepfather.
It’s a darling little birdbath with 2 small precious birds with diamond filled eyes perched on the edge. When lights hit it, a rainbow of colors scatters around the room. No doubt a gift I will treasure the rest of my life.
For Christmas my husband gave me a crystal rose to add to my growing collection.
10 years ago my life had been turned upside down. I started with what I thought was a case of flu that I never seemed to recover from. My joints and muscles began aching and then the chronic fatigue would pull me down to where I felt reduced to shambles. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It’s arthritis like condition that causes you to feel like you have a constant case of the flu, achy muscles, headaches, Tendonitis, stiff joints and chronic fatigue are only a part of this debilitating disease
At times I am overwhelmed and am reduced to tears from the constant stress of the pain. There is no cure nor is there any medication that will take the pain completely away.
For people, mostly woman, daily life can be a struggle, and on the very bad days it can reduced a sufferer to total bed rest.
January of 1999, I had a simple gall bladder surgery. I awoke from surgery with even worse pain than before surgery as a nerve bundle was damaged.
That too has no cure.
There are some days that I can hardly put one foot in front of the other because of the pain and fatigue. Feeling sorry for oneself is easy with this kind of illness.
I felt shattered and useless. This wasn’t the “old Cheryl” who was once a vivacious bubbly person with loads of energy spreading rainbows and cheer where ever I could.
I had always been a hard worker. Caring for 3 growing children, a loving husband who traveled outside our state and battled mouth cancer. We had a large
5-bedroom home on acreage and I had a full time career as a successful real estate agent.
I took pride in canning during the summer and spent hours sewing and doing craft-work. I also enjoyed hiking, swimming and skiing with our children. I’d cook and entertain friends and family and hosted socials and church functions.
I taught primary division class at church and took part in social committees.
I was super-woman with a mission! I had the Lords work to do!
How could this be? Being reduced to daily pain and suffering?
How could God let this happen to me! How was I to continue to serve him?
Oh, Lord! I am feeling sorry for myself.
It is so easy to let bitterness and self-pity overshadow your joy in living.
And question Gods will in my life in this way.
How could I be used for His work this way? How could I do His will? How could I be a shining trinket for Him? How could God allow this to happen to me?
But then I think, why not me?
What makes me so special that God would save me from this disease and let some other person suffer instead.
Perhaps someone who didn’t have all that I am blessed with.
Perhaps someone who had small children, no husband and no income!
Recently my husband and I were in the Seattle area. While he was in business meetings I visited a local mall and came upon the Swarvsky crystal store.
There were beautiful pieces displayed in brightly-lit cases.
Each and every hand crafted piece is delicately made of the finest crystal.
Crafted so each facet shows off a rainbow of colors when lit.
As I gazed upon each shelf I nearly missed the humungous 3-dimensional box-frame hanging on the wall behind the cases.
It was filled with broken, shattered pieces of the crystal trinkets and oddly shaped pieces.
I put my nose up to the glass closely picking out every broken piece, once whole now broken, tossed loosely amongst other shattered and broken treasures.
There were pieces I’d recognized from the show cases, wings, faces, wheels and other assortments of parts that had been shattered and broken.
I pressed my face closer and found pieces of a birdbath, the roses like mine and a few other pieces I had now collected.
It was the most breathtaking “picture” I had ever seen.
I was mesmerized by its’ beauty. It was filled with pieces that had been shattered and broken.
An even more beautiful piece of artwork than the most intricate pieces that were on display. I stepped back to admire it.
I couldn’t take my eyes off of it and inquired about the price of such a beautiful piece of “artwork” But was told it was not for sale.
The salesperson said that a lot of people inquire if it’s for sale and that she could sell more of those than the whole pieces.
As I walked out into the mall I turned around and just had to go back for another look.
The next day I returned for yet another look. It was just so beautiful to me.
I kept thinking about my life and how I too have been shattered and broken.
Could God still use me in the overall big picture? Could I still shine for him?
Could others like me who have been shattered and broken make up such a beautiful picture.
There hanging on the wall was my answer. Yes, I still could be used for Gods work.
Yes, I could be just a part of the picture. Even in my brokeness God could still use me “Just as I am” now.
The pain from being shattered and broken has opened up new avenues for living light to enter and shine through me.
I am not the same person I was before. I am a new creature.
Broken, yes, but still useable.
We who are broken and shattered can even be a more beautiful creation than all the fine whole pieces. Even in our brokeness, our shattered lives and seemingly tossed aside we still can fit into Gods big picture.
If we would only let the master craftsman put us in the “whole” picture of life.
Yes we can still be used to become part of the most beautiful and priceless piece of artwork that outshines the small seemingly whole pieces. We become a living brightness and reflect the creator when a light is cast upon us.
We become a new creation set apart that gives us new value.
There are numerous things we can do despite our handicaps and infirmities.
We still can cast “rainbows” that reach out and outshine the finely displayed trinkets if we only will let Him use us.
His light can still be captured in shattered and broken pieces.
Being in pain we sometimes can turn inward to selfish thinking and self-pity, it’s a natural process of chronic pain.
But when we reach out to others we pull ourselves out of this mode. In reaching out we create a picture God intended for us. It’s not easy to be cheerful when the pain drains your every ounce of energy. There are numerous ways to divert our attention outside of self. Even if it’s only to smile at someone who looks gloomy, telling a stranger to have a wonderful day, write an encouraging note to someone who seems to be overwhelmed with working or in need of cheer, phone an old friend, visit a nursing home to cheer the elderly, buy flowers for a shut in. The list can be endless if you take the time to think of ways to reach out and scatter rainbows. We can make a difference in just one person’s life. We don’t have to have an endless list. If we reach just one! That’s all. Just one, can make a tremendous difference even in our own life because we allowed to be used by God. We must let Him use us for His purpose in our brokeness. If not we can become bitter and ugly, turning inward to self. Let the “Light that never fails” shine through you today!
The master craftsman fearfully and wonderfully made us.
Sin has caused His handiwork to break down.
The natural process of life can break and shatter us, Sometimes reducing us to tiny pieces that seemingly could never be used or of any value.
It’s not always Gods will for us to suffer; it’s what we do with our broken and shattered lives that is His will to fit into the plan of Salvation.
The picture isn’t finished yet! Shattered pieces can be beautiful.
Even more outshining than the unbroken and whole pieces.
Let God use you even in a small way.
There will be healing for the soul in finding self worth and the knowledge that we are part of His picture.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. Psalms 139:14
Cheryl Young
Aka CRYTEARS on BT forum
Shattered Crystals
By Cheryl Young
My first introduction into the beautifully crafted Swavrsky crystals was a 25th wedding anniversary gift from my mother and stepfather.
It’s a darling little birdbath with 2 small precious birds with diamond filled eyes perched on the edge. When lights hit it, a rainbow of colors scatters around the room. No doubt a gift I will treasure the rest of my life.
For Christmas my husband gave me a crystal rose to add to my growing collection.
10 years ago my life had been turned upside down. I started with what I thought was a case of flu that I never seemed to recover from. My joints and muscles began aching and then the chronic fatigue would pull me down to where I felt reduced to shambles. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It’s arthritis like condition that causes you to feel like you have a constant case of the flu, achy muscles, headaches, Tendonitis, stiff joints and chronic fatigue are only a part of this debilitating disease
At times I am overwhelmed and am reduced to tears from the constant stress of the pain. There is no cure nor is there any medication that will take the pain completely away.
For people, mostly woman, daily life can be a struggle, and on the very bad days it can reduced a sufferer to total bed rest.
January of 1999, I had a simple gall bladder surgery. I awoke from surgery with even worse pain than before surgery as a nerve bundle was damaged.
That too has no cure.
There are some days that I can hardly put one foot in front of the other because of the pain and fatigue. Feeling sorry for oneself is easy with this kind of illness.
I felt shattered and useless. This wasn’t the “old Cheryl” who was once a vivacious bubbly person with loads of energy spreading rainbows and cheer where ever I could.
I had always been a hard worker. Caring for 3 growing children, a loving husband who traveled outside our state and battled mouth cancer. We had a large
5-bedroom home on acreage and I had a full time career as a successful real estate agent.
I took pride in canning during the summer and spent hours sewing and doing craft-work. I also enjoyed hiking, swimming and skiing with our children. I’d cook and entertain friends and family and hosted socials and church functions.
I taught primary division class at church and took part in social committees.
I was super-woman with a mission! I had the Lords work to do!
How could this be? Being reduced to daily pain and suffering?
How could God let this happen to me! How was I to continue to serve him?
Oh, Lord! I am feeling sorry for myself.
It is so easy to let bitterness and self-pity overshadow your joy in living.
And question Gods will in my life in this way.
How could I be used for His work this way? How could I do His will? How could I be a shining trinket for Him? How could God allow this to happen to me?
But then I think, why not me?
What makes me so special that God would save me from this disease and let some other person suffer instead.
Perhaps someone who didn’t have all that I am blessed with.
Perhaps someone who had small children, no husband and no income!
Recently my husband and I were in the Seattle area. While he was in business meetings I visited a local mall and came upon the Swarvsky crystal store.
There were beautiful pieces displayed in brightly-lit cases.
Each and every hand crafted piece is delicately made of the finest crystal.
Crafted so each facet shows off a rainbow of colors when lit.
As I gazed upon each shelf I nearly missed the humungous 3-dimensional box-frame hanging on the wall behind the cases.
It was filled with broken, shattered pieces of the crystal trinkets and oddly shaped pieces.
I put my nose up to the glass closely picking out every broken piece, once whole now broken, tossed loosely amongst other shattered and broken treasures.
There were pieces I’d recognized from the show cases, wings, faces, wheels and other assortments of parts that had been shattered and broken.
I pressed my face closer and found pieces of a birdbath, the roses like mine and a few other pieces I had now collected.
It was the most breathtaking “picture” I had ever seen.
I was mesmerized by its’ beauty. It was filled with pieces that had been shattered and broken.
An even more beautiful piece of artwork than the most intricate pieces that were on display. I stepped back to admire it.
I couldn’t take my eyes off of it and inquired about the price of such a beautiful piece of “artwork” But was told it was not for sale.
The salesperson said that a lot of people inquire if it’s for sale and that she could sell more of those than the whole pieces.
As I walked out into the mall I turned around and just had to go back for another look.
The next day I returned for yet another look. It was just so beautiful to me.
I kept thinking about my life and how I too have been shattered and broken.
Could God still use me in the overall big picture? Could I still shine for him?
Could others like me who have been shattered and broken make up such a beautiful picture.
There hanging on the wall was my answer. Yes, I still could be used for Gods work.
Yes, I could be just a part of the picture. Even in my brokeness God could still use me “Just as I am” now.
The pain from being shattered and broken has opened up new avenues for living light to enter and shine through me.
I am not the same person I was before. I am a new creature.
Broken, yes, but still useable.
We who are broken and shattered can even be a more beautiful creation than all the fine whole pieces. Even in our brokeness, our shattered lives and seemingly tossed aside we still can fit into Gods big picture.
If we would only let the master craftsman put us in the “whole” picture of life.
Yes we can still be used to become part of the most beautiful and priceless piece of artwork that outshines the small seemingly whole pieces. We become a living brightness and reflect the creator when a light is cast upon us.
We become a new creation set apart that gives us new value.
There are numerous things we can do despite our handicaps and infirmities.
We still can cast “rainbows” that reach out and outshine the finely displayed trinkets if we only will let Him use us.
His light can still be captured in shattered and broken pieces.
Being in pain we sometimes can turn inward to selfish thinking and self-pity, it’s a natural process of chronic pain.
But when we reach out to others we pull ourselves out of this mode. In reaching out we create a picture God intended for us. It’s not easy to be cheerful when the pain drains your every ounce of energy. There are numerous ways to divert our attention outside of self. Even if it’s only to smile at someone who looks gloomy, telling a stranger to have a wonderful day, write an encouraging note to someone who seems to be overwhelmed with working or in need of cheer, phone an old friend, visit a nursing home to cheer the elderly, buy flowers for a shut in. The list can be endless if you take the time to think of ways to reach out and scatter rainbows. We can make a difference in just one person’s life. We don’t have to have an endless list. If we reach just one! That’s all. Just one, can make a tremendous difference even in our own life because we allowed to be used by God. We must let Him use us for His purpose in our brokeness. If not we can become bitter and ugly, turning inward to self. Let the “Light that never fails” shine through you today!
The master craftsman fearfully and wonderfully made us.
Sin has caused His handiwork to break down.
The natural process of life can break and shatter us, Sometimes reducing us to tiny pieces that seemingly could never be used or of any value.
It’s not always Gods will for us to suffer; it’s what we do with our broken and shattered lives that is His will to fit into the plan of Salvation.
The picture isn’t finished yet! Shattered pieces can be beautiful.
Even more outshining than the unbroken and whole pieces.
Let God use you even in a small way.
There will be healing for the soul in finding self worth and the knowledge that we are part of His picture.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. Psalms 139:14
Cheryl Young
Aka CRYTEARS on BT forum