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jaztsd
11-16-2006, 11:57 PM
Gus, my sweet, wonderful, 11 year old diabetic cat, went to kitty heaven this past Tuesday. He was a little off last Thursday and Friday, but was better over the weekend. Well, seemed better, anyway - he was actualy well on his way to kidney failure and ketoacidosis. I woke up Monday to a very sick cat, and a fair amount of cat vomit on the rug (after staying up with him most of the weekend - he was more active and eating when I finally fell asleep - thought it was stomach upset, and he was getting better).

Took him to the vet, spent almost $1000 that I don't have (some of you may remember I've been out of work for six weeks now) trying to see if he could be saved to live a live that was livable, and on Tuesday, when it seemed he couldn't be, I made the decision to put him down.

I took him to the overnight vet from the regular vet Monday, when we thought it was a diabetic crisis, and that his kidney enzymes were just reponding to that. I was up all night callling them every 2 hours, and took him back to his regular vet early Tuesday morning. By the time I returned to the regular vets, he was a little more alert, but he was still in bad shape, so I waited around (my vet is an hour away from home) in town to hear from the vet, because I has a bad feeling. The vet called me a few hours later, and told me his sugar and kidney enzymes were way up, and that Gus had stopped fightiing.

I went back to the vet, and held Gus for a while. He was pretty limp, and he just lifted his head and looked at me, and I chose to interpret it as him telling me it was time to go. I held him the whole time, through the injection and a little beyond, and the vet told me to just leave when I was ready, and they would work out the payment plan later - which was very sweet of him, since I already owed over $400 before last week's crisis.

Gus was diagnosed 3 and a half years ago with diabetes, and has been getting twice a day insulin shots ever since - I would often walk into my apartment with a $1.29 6-pack of ramen noodles in one hand, and a $36.00 bag of special diabetic cat food in the other. I don't doubt he had a happy life, and I don't doubt he was ready to go. Still, it's hard not to question myself, what could I have done better, could I have prevented this?

If I could give any advice to anyone reading this, it would be to get a pet. I had so much joy and companionship and love from Gus over the past 11 years. I imagine that I'll eventually get another cat - not planning to right now, but I suspect that sometime I'll just see a cat, fall in love, and take him home.

In fact, in my last post, which was to Chrystalina, I almost suggested she get Rae a cat for her birthday - but thought that may be a bit too pushy :)

Just wanted (needed) to share - he was such an important part of my life, and you are my extended family. Three and a half years is a pretty long time for a cat to live after being diagnosed with diabetes, and that's even after they get through the first six months or so. Still, it's hard. Been in bed most of the time since then, got up a few hours early this AM and posted a bit. Just got up again a little while ago. Plan to actually leave my apartment tomorrow.

Love,
Jan

argye
11-17-2006, 02:28 AM
Hi Jan,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am sure you did everything that you could have done to help Gus, and gave him a very happy life, but sometimes, it just their time...

Hugs,
Argye

NattyNat11
11-17-2006, 03:58 AM
My cat died recently too. I share your pain and loss. Just remember that you will always have fond memories and that the horrific pain you're experiencing internally grieving now will pass.

Best,
Natalie

baywatcher
11-17-2006, 07:26 AM
Jan, I'm so sorry that Gus didn't make it, but Gus will never really be gone. And you will fall in love with another kitty someday, remembering Gus, knowing how rich life is with a furry companion, finding that there is no end to the love in your heart. If only our pet's lives were more nearly as long as ours . . . and yet, we know it when we first welcome them in to our lives, know how much they enrich every day, and commit ourselves to loss and sadness. Thank goodness we never lose the courage to give love. Be good to yourself. Nancy

EE03
11-17-2006, 02:26 PM
Jan, I'm sorry you've lost such a good friend. I lost my lab almost a year ago, and its heartbreaking. She stays with me in spirit as I'm sure yours does too, so although we're physically separated, we're still together. Take care and give yourself time to grieve. Ellena

Jane
11-18-2006, 11:48 AM
Jan, Gus was a very lucky kitty to have shared his life with you. You have been such a loving and caring mom to him. In the past couple of years I have lost my 13 year old collie and my 14 year old lab mix, so I know where you are coming from. Sending you warm thoughts and prayers.

Jane

crysopac
11-19-2006, 01:36 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your kitty. Your kitty knew you loved him and cared for him. You are in my prayers.

crystalina

jaztsd
11-19-2006, 07:34 PM
Thank you, everyone. He did have a happy life. I'm rather obnoxious with a camera, so I have a ton of pictures of him. You can see some at the link in my signature line if you want. I'm sorry for those of you who have lost pets, too.

Love,
Jan

irishchick
11-20-2006, 01:25 PM
Hi Jan, I was sorry to read about your beloved Gus. I had to put down my cat Coco 2 years ago, and just recently got another kitten. It's not the same, and I find myself comparing our new kitty to Coco all the time. It has made me miss and appreciate coco all the more- we had her for 15 years.

It's hard, they become your family, not just a pet. I was having a lot of dreams about coco, and figured that was a sign of it's time to get another pet. My kids thank me every day for Tiger, even when he scratches them.

It will take time, but as Nancy said, he will never truly be gone. He will continue to occupy a part of your heart, so you will carry him with you wherever you go.

Fizzbw
11-20-2006, 03:25 PM
Hi Jan,

I'm so very sorry to hear about Gus passing away. I remember talking to you about him a year or more ago! Please please try not to feel any guilt, its because of your love and care that he had the life he did - dealing with his health issues is not easy nor something that lots of people would do, so he had a lot more of a wonderful life with you. At the end, when it is our time, its time - just wave him across Rainbow Bridge, and know that he will be around you all the time - loving animal spirits do not go far, believe me!!!

I can totally sympathise with your feelings, my dogs and horses are fundemental to my well being and give me a reason to get up each morning - they are undescribably important. However, if they go, however devestated and shattered I will be, there will always be space for another in my heart - the heart and love is not finite and while never replacing a loved one, a new loved one, (especially a rescue) is a wonderful healing thing. YOu will know when the time is right.

Grieve - you have suffered a loss, don't minimise it, but please, please remember the good times, what you gave Gus, and what he gave back - and celebrate that time with him.

RIP Gus.

Big hugs

Niki ***

southerngirl
11-21-2006, 09:46 AM
I believe you hit a nerve here, everyone can relate to losing a pet and how it breaks our hearts. I lost my cat in the summertime and I have her picture on my refrig and often look at it and miss her sooooo much. But I do have 3 other cats but she was my special one and I visit her in my backyard often.
Catherine

Silver Swan
11-21-2006, 11:01 AM
Dear Catherine:

I too lost a very special kitty several years ago. I now have another kitty, but no one will ever take all black Annie's place. She was a real cuddler and my new kitty isn't. But the new one has her own special qualities.

I do miss the warm little body, though. She would drape herself on my left shoulder and stay there as long as I was sitting down.

I miss you terribly, dear Annie.

Shirley H.

Rudy's Mom
11-21-2006, 12:17 PM
So sorry to read about losing your poor little Gus. I know how hard it is to lose our animal babies. I have 5 cats and often think I don't know how I could possible part with even one of them. Sheila (Oliver, Sophie, Maggie, Felix, and Mango too)

Fizzbw
11-21-2006, 12:30 PM
I forgot to add that we also lost a cat this summer - Willow. Unfortunately she just disappeared and we don't know if she was killed or if she has for some reason reverted to feral and is somewhere else - it would have been very unusual for her. It's very hard not knowing.

N***

angelgirl
09-12-2007, 05:19 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

I think I am the biggest cat lover in the world and I want to protect them as much as possible.

Cats have very sensitive livers. They do not metabolize in the same was as ours, or even in the same way as dogs. There are therefore many things that can cause kidney failure in cats and often it happens very quickly. I have researched this and written a book on it, after my cat (he is fine now!) became very ill.

If you would like to write to me, I will be happy to pass on some more information to you.

Angela

saraiderin
09-13-2007, 04:55 PM
I am truly sorry for your loss. Sarah

jaztsd
09-14-2007, 12:25 AM
I just logged in today after a long absence, and what a pleasant surprise to see that my post about Gus is still touching people. Thank you all :)

Love,
Jan

southerngirl
09-24-2007, 12:59 PM
after rereading my post I am mad at myself for not mentioning my cats name. Her name was Weizzle my son named her because she wheedled her way into our house. My husband did not want a cat at the time.
Also, she was gone for 2 days and I found her in the shed under many boxes, when I took her to the vet she told me she had gone out there to die, she would be dead from starvation in 2 days because she knew she was sick. Funny that she was aware of it, cancer is what she had.
I still miss her
Catherine