Husband with anoxic brain injury HELP!

[JennyMcg11042009]

In February of 2008 my husband hung himself I dont really want to go into the gorry details but he was in coma and now he has brain damage he has an anoxic brain injury surprisingly he is doing well i suppose although he is so confused at times he does not believe that this is the first time that he hung himself for some reason he says that he hangs himself to get back because he has a block on his brain and the only way to get himself back is to hang and that he does this every three years....the thing is this is not true he has only hung this one time and i dont understand why he thinks this...i try to explain things to him but he thinks im stupid...he doesnt believe anything is wrong with him at all except the fact he feels he has a block on his brain but he believes that this isnt due to the fact his brain went without oxygen and he will not see anybody to help him because he does not think anything is wrong with him... he walks alright but his balance is a little off...I am really starting to have a hard time because this is all that he talks about...they say with his injury that he wont have memories he does have memories of us being together and he remembers stuff of course not as good as he used to but for some reason his past includes that he hung himself every three years and i just wish that he would stop believing this i got the medical records to try to prove to him that it simply is not true but he thinks someone is hiding them from him I do not knowwhat to do or how to presude him to see someone to help him.. The saddest part of the story is that when he was in coma i found out i was pregnant and i just had his son in November and I just want my sons daddy to come back I know he wont be the way he used to be but is there any way to stop these delusions????????????????????????????????????????? ??? IF you have any ideas or explainations of why he believes this please respond thank you for your time! :)

[moose53]

((((((Jenny)))))),

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/moose53/MINIS/HUGS/diddl-maus-044.gif

Welcome to BrainTalk. I'm so sorry that you find yourself here for these reasons :( You've got a hard road ahead of you.

We've got a couple of forums here that you might find helpful: Traumatic Brain Injury (http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=269) and Survivors of Suicide (http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=67).

I'm extremely concerned about his talk about hanging himself every three years. I've got extensive history with suicides (on both sides of the issue) -- my Brother committed suicide at age 21 and I attempted for years and years and years to follow him (menopause and better drugs and therapy got me through all that).

I'm thinking that your husband should, at least, be on some sort of drug, like Prozac, to alter his mood. But, I have no idea how an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) would react with the brain injury.

Jenny, I can't stress this enough -- I believe that your husband is at an extreme risk for suicide. I am not a professional; no one here has the ability to diagnose anyone from a distance. My concern comes only from my own personal experiences.

I saw this recently: http://www.physorg.com/news143896479.html. I think it might be a good idea for you to get in touch with the doctor, Dr. Joe Z. Tsien, mentioned in the article and find out if/when they are doing clinical trials on humans.

You might also want to look into any courses at your local adult education center -- courses for teaching yoga, relaxation, meditation (even dancing or exercising), things along that line. Maybe he would go, if you went with him. I'm thinking along the lines of putting some more 'positive' experiences into his thoughts and also giving him some tools for coping.

((((((Jenny)))))) <<-- (those are hugs). I can imagine, based on my own history, how much pain and stress your entire family is under. My heart aches for all of you. Try to give your son positive experiences involving both of his parents -- even if it's something as simple as bath-time or playing with toy cars on the floor and rocking-and-singing. All of these things are going to give your little boy the warm, fuzzy feelings and memories he needs with his Dad. AND, children have a way of reaching people who are in pain.

Also, I'm thinking that since the two of you (the three or you) are just starting out that you're probably not living too "high on the hog". You probably need something just for yourself that's going to give you some tools for coping. This organization has been around for over seven decades: Recovery, International (http://www.recovery-inc.org/index.html). 'Dear Abby' and 'Ann Landers' used to recommend the organization very highly in their columns.

The meetings are usually free, except for a slight cost to clean up the church hall after the meetings. Dr. Low's books are used for the meetings; but, you could borrow the books from your local library or read over someone else's shoulder until you decide if this will work for you.

Decades ago Dr. Abraham Low felt that people who had just gotten out of a psychiatric hospital needed somewhere for them to go to learn how to cope with being 'outside'. Interestingly, his ideas translate well for everyone: no matter how depressed or unmotivated you feel, you can always move your muscles to accomplish some small thing; accomplishing something as simple as getting up and showered and dressed and fed every morning give you a feeling of accomplishment and self-worth that will grow throughout your day and make your days easier; and MOST IMPORTANTLY, we cannot control the behaviour of others.

Sign up for the newsletter from Recovery and see if it's theories work for you. It might be a useful tool for you in learning how to cope with your new life.

Bless you all, Jenny. I pray for health and safety and happiness for all of you. Please-please be encouraged by the fact that there is so much research being done in the area of brain injury -- there just might be cures or treatments in the not-to-distant future that will give you back more of your husband. In the meantime, love the one you've got and try to help him find the peace and the support that he needs. Don't forget about yourself and your child, though. Make sure that you line up support and friendship for both you and your boy so that you both have resources to hold you up.

BIG HUGS.

Barb