. Help me please. I can’t bear it anymore

[gabriel4097]

I know this sounds pathetic but my boyfriend just left me. He wont tell me why all he said was that we wouldn’t last. I love him. He was my life. I really want to die but I cant stand to leave my mother behind. She suffers from depression too. I’ve been on 4 antidepressants. Yesterday I was at my psychiatrist and she was going to put me on something else. I’ve recently taken prozac so I don’t know if that has anything to do with it. I don’t want to leave but I’m afraid I have to spare my mother. I just can’t take it. I’ve been crying since yesterday and I haven’t eaten. Please someone help me deal with this.

[JAVISI]

Gabriel,

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Especially with Christmas right around the corner. You need to find a way to love yourself and not be so dependant on another person for your feelings about yourself. You are worthy and worth a lot!

I am glad that you have your mother but she should not be your only reason for wanting to live. It worries me that you say that you want to die. We are only on this earth for a short time and we need to try to make the best of it.

I know that is tough when you already have problems with depression. You say you se a psychiatrist but do you see a counselor? I think that would be of great benefit to you!

I would also encourage you to post on the emotional support forum, you will find some wonderful ladies that will listen to you and try to help you out the best you can! Please keep posting sometimes just getting your thoughts out helps!

Please do not hurt yourself or if you truely feel suicidal, Tell someone and get help. That is not a option. It is a permanant solution to a short term problem. You are worth living, so please tell me that you won't hurt yourself!

Hugs, Javi

[Naominjw]

(((((( GABRIEL )))))))

Gabriel, Gabriel, please know that as acutely painful this is - like shards of glass tearing huge gaping holes in you and you are 20 feet down in a black pit that there seems is no chance of climbing out and will be forever.... it will pass. The black eternity of pain is an illusion. For now--yes, it hurts so bad and your boyfriend giving no more of an explanation is the epitomy of cruelty. We human beings need explanations. We need closure. He denied you that. And that sucks, it really does. But this will pass, even though right now it doesn't feel like it.

There is no shame in checking yourself in to the hospital if you need it, or going to a religious organization and asking for fellowship and help.... or coming here and sharing your despair.

I am so glad that even in your pain you can think of someone else. Sometimes selflessness--doing for others--is what life is about. When I felt most empty, is when I sometimes could give of myself most completely. Your mother needs you. I bet others need you as well, and if you can't think of anyone else, well.. then it is time to find those in need.

Each of us touch a multitude of others in ways we cannot begin to fathom ... at least, we don't usually really understand until we are so much older and hopefully wiser.

You are grieving. Embrace that... and embrace yourself. Accpet the pain and accept your grief and know that it is right and proper for now. And the winter will give way to spring.

Oh Gabriel.... you are not the only one crying for your grief. Others have read your cry and have added their tears. ((((((((( HUGS )))))))))

-"Naomi"