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View Full Version : So mad, I think overall, no one will give a crap...


milivica
12-18-2008, 10:05 PM
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/12/17/seclusion.rooms/index.html#cnnSTCText

It'll be a story on CNN, overall, I don't think much will change. If there's one constant in history, no one gives a crap about the disabled weather child or adult, cognitive disability or mental disorder. 'The World' doesn't give a crap any more than it does about all the different genocide that's occurred since Hitler.

This sure brings back memories of all the fighting, even going to jail, trying to get rid of that so called time out room. No one did squat, from the Office of Civil Rights who came out from Chicago to investigate, to the Wisconsin Coalition for Advocacy (ha! no help at all) all the way down the the police, no one cares if autistic kids are locked up, as long as it's called a 'time out' it seems to be quite legal...as is all the mental and physical harm that happens to them due to the 'time-outs', and bear in mind, it is the incompetence of teachers that create the child being overloaded and getting the time out. In the end, I contacted the United States Dept of Education as well as the United States Dept of Civil Rights...they referred me to the agencies that already didn't to squat. I persisted both on the phone and in emails, to no avail.

Even loving well meaning teachers who simply have never gotten the training - I actually met one of those who had a brother with special needs so was loving and kind to my son like he deserved...she still didn't know what to do for him but at least knew what not to do.

Since this is finally getting press, maybe I'll once again bring up Vincent's story, since it is still occurring to other kids (Vince is way past getting time outs). Maybe print all the negative stories I can get on seclusion rooms - certainly there are no positive stories on them cause if they worked there'd be evidence by improvement of our children, not decline and frustration and as Vince put it, "being treated like a zoo animal." Maybe send these stories and Vincent's and the photos I have of the seclusion rooms and chairs with belts, to the local churches and officials. I want to see an attack of conscious, but I'm doubting I know how to create that, heck, not their kid, not their problem, ain't that how folks think?

Sorry, I'm not even in a bad mood per say, but seclusion rooms are just not something I can stand hearing about. I can't believe I ever bought into the notion that school needed to use them or my horrible terrible son wouldn't be able to go there cause he was so rotten and badly behaved and disrespectful...duh, he has autism...be nice if he was all those things cause that would sure take some wonderful theory of mind.

This poor family, can you imagine? School killing your child, can you imagine? I can't imagine. Then the whole legal process they've endured in addition to their grief? I can just hear the trial in my head, how they'll vilify the child and his parents, and the teachers will be the poor widdle saintly victims of the child. Awww, the poor teachers are so overwhelmed...so that makes it ok? What about the kids? I'm sorry but a time out room...we can fly to the moon, split an atom, and can't think of better than a time out room? Don't think so. And, for God sakes, I delivered a woman to them with all the answers!!!!! It's not like they didn't know what to do, they didn't want to do what was right, just pass the kid along, throw him in a room, no biggie, cause no one cares it would seem.

Kristen (ColeysMom)
12-19-2008, 08:43 AM
OMG!

Mili I'm sorry I couldn't even finish reading that...got through half, and then just couldn't even read your comments beyond it 'bringing it back'

I just want to PUKE!

We've had this conversation before so I know you know that we both feel the same (well minus me be personally touched by it...but of course it makes me think about Vince in a room like that too...GAK!) but I won't bother going on...WTF is wrong with these people, I just don't get how ANYONE could think this is a good idea! I get the whole frustration thing, and complete limit of options...but C"MON! Where is the common sense here!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_2_5.gif

So what I DID want to add is that I'm sorry that this is bringing it back to you...I just posted that I'm having my own bad experience haunting me...it TOTALLY SUX at this time of the year to have such negative feelings...I don't know the answers...extra hugs for Vince maybe, do me a favor give him a BIG squeeze for me, huh!

I'm thinking of you and hope you can put this out of your mind and build some of those positive episodic memories (is that right?) for yourself and the kids this season...Love you sweetie, HUGS!

Naominjw
12-19-2008, 09:44 AM
My daughter (not autism, but with "associated characteristics") needed a quiet place of her own to calm down in her own time. Not locked up somewhere. Not as punishment. Usually the kids had someone sit there in the room with them. Not with my daughter though, because her wails could continue for hours and what she wanted was just to be left alone. But they door was open. When she was "all done" she could come join the class.

I cannot IMAGINE her in such a situation. Even one time would have traumatized her for life, and she would not be the wonderful young adult she is today--happy, healthy, in college, with friends, engaged, etc.

And you are probably right. Who is to care about this? And with budgets tightening all over the place people will care even less about "those" kids. But by investing in good quality care and education for "those kids" we help them, their families, and all of society.

I feel sick. And now I have to go get some tissues.

-"Naomi"

Keggy
12-19-2008, 03:21 PM
It is another sad example of how people with difficulties are treated badly. I know how you feel because I see it every single day. It makes you sick.

Moldy.. you have the passion and the anger to work against this. Maybe that is what you are meant to do, or at the very least help others to do. Maybe "Johnathans law" needs to be written? This is the way it happens, people hear something, are sickened by it, and take action. These seclusion rooms are not rare, and school professionals pretending to understand mental health issues has to stop.

You may think you are in no position to do something, but you are.

milivica
12-23-2008, 12:59 AM
AFTER the holidays, I'll be back to ask what. Dunno why I can't let it go. If I do, then it's like I'm saying what they did to Vince and to the other kids is ok with me. Ok, be back to ask after the holidays.