Is suicide worth it?

[Survivor60]

I used to be extremely suicidal attempting many forms of taking my life. On one occasion I actually succeeded but after being pronounced dead they saw me breathing again. lol. Remained in a coma though for one week. Was it worth it? As I reflect back I would have to say unequivocally "NO". It may be a sad world we live in. I mean there seem to be a lot of terrible crimes being committed, the decline of certain elements of virtue, and a way of life known by past generations fading away more and more. Maybe so but the fact still remains that there is a reason for life. We don't have to understand it but it just wouldn't make sense otherwise.
One of my favorite movies is "The Green Mile". Seen it? Quite a story. An innocent man condemned to death for a crime he didn't do but looked forward to being put to death for one reason. All the sadness and evil hurt him so. Similar to what I was saying above. Before he was put to death though he did fulfill a very important purpose. Saved and extended the life of a man and a mouse. The man went on to tell others of the ramifications of an innocent man dying prematurely and the cost and effect it had on many others. As a matter of fact his death ended up ending the lives of 3 others. Was that worth it? I have thought hard on this matter and just feel that maybe as hard as it may seem to live at times, it is still necessary BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT LIES AHEAD. The numerous people that I have had a positive impact on and them on me would have all been missed had I succeeded in my own demise. Would that have been worth it?
The position of a suicidal person is most always that of hopelessness. The lack of options and foresight of new possibilities of change and happiness are not contemplated, yet, if the suicidal person could only be shown that "change" does happen. Time alone with no other factors accomplishes that by the physical, mental, and emotional changes that WILL occur due to the aging process. Our metabolism slows down, stresses lessen, and a mellowing of the mind takes place. Slowing down can mean appreciating more and worrying less. I do believe the most important change though does take place within our being by other factors as well. Without going into them I will rest this thread now leaving perhaps a little food for thought. Are you able to think of other factors that change our outlook with time?

[Lara]

I'm not at all fond of any of those 'Dead Man Walking' type movies.

I thought 'The Green Mile' was very dark. It left me with dreadful feelings of doom and gloom. I remember parts of The Green Mile (unfortunately) but I can't remember anything about suicide in it. I should go read a review or synopsis again to get my memory working. I live in a society where execution is not part of the judicial system of punishment. My main thoughts when watching those movies was some incredible acting and some horrific punishments from one culture to another.

There are lots of reasons that people attempt suicide. Unfortunately only those people really know why and even more unfortunately, those who do succeed, well their families and loved ones will never know. This might sound strange to you, because you've said otherwise, but I don't believe that people who do kill themselves necessarily feel or show visible hopelessness over a long time frame.

I'm sorry, I don't really understand your original question. "Is suicide worth it?"

Worth what?

No. Suicide is not worth it. Suicide is death. Finis. It's worth a lot of pain and anguish and guilt and despair and years of sadness for the people it leaves behind. How can suicide be worth anything? If a poor lemming jumps off a cliff, it doesn't think "is this worth it?", it does what it does instinctively without conscious thought like we have.

[Survivor60]

Anyone that understands suicide understands whether or not they think suicide is worth it or not. Not a hard question for those that have been there at all. Sounds to me like you haven't been there and I hope you never do. Since this thread is really aimed more towards those that do understand suicide maybe more understanding is forthcoming. Those that don't understand I'm very happy for you that you don't. Keep it that way. Living happy lives is what we are all striving for. As for walking the green mile all those that have filled the shoes of the deadmanwalking know all too well what pain and reality and hopelessness is all about. No mystery there but sure wish there was. Being in a hopeless position is no laughing matter. Can't even grin. Can't even look up from the ground. Can't even move. If there is one thing suicide victims and suicidal people do understand more than anything else it is "hopelessness". It defines "no options". It is the final despair, the no way out, and that suicide as an escape will end the pain and hopelessness. Hope this is understandable because it is very serious and very final to say the least. So returning back to the positive aspect of the original intent of this thread "Is it worth it?" are there options that can change hopelessness into hope over a period of time that will defeat suicidal tendencies?

[Lara]

Anyone that understands suicide understands whether or not they think suicide is worth it or not. Not a hard question for those that have been there at all. Sounds to me like you haven't been there and I hope you never do. Since this thread is really aimed more towards those that do understand suicide maybe more understanding is forthcoming. Those that don't understand I'm very happy for you that you don't. Keep it that way. Living happy lives is what we are all striving for. As for walking the green mile all those that have filled the shoes of the deadmanwalking know all too well what pain and reality and hopelessness is all about. No mystery there but sure wish there was. Being in a hopeless position is no laughing matter. Can't even grin. Can't even look up from the ground. Can't even move. If there is one thing suicide victims and suicidal people do understand more than anything else it is "hopelessness". It defines "no options". It is the final despair, the no way out, and that suicide as an escape will end the pain and hopelessness. Hope this is understandable because it is very serious and very final to say the least. So returning back to the positive aspect of the original intent of this thread "Is it worth it?" are there options that can change hopelessness into hope over a period of time that will defeat suicidal tendencies?

Excuse me??? :confused:

I said I didn't understand your question. I honestly didn't. Forgive me for my obvious stupidity.

Your question was "Is suicide worth it?"
My answer was - No. Suicide is not worth it

Why you wrote the response you did is beyond me. How do you know what I know?

I shall refrain from posting in future.

Would that suit you better if no-one replied to your posts at all?

I was just trying to understand what you meant by those 4 words.

[ejbpesca]

My stepfather shot himself many years ago. He may have thought it was worth it after nothing in his world could be brought under his control and we suspect he had been given a death sentence anyway of terminal cancer. I don't think your question can be answered.

[Fig]

You ask if there are options that can change hoplesness into hope, and stop suicidal tendendencies and drives. I believe that this is possible. Where there is life, there is hope. I say this while I myself am a survivor of attempted suicide and I live with suicidal ideation. I know the pain, the helpless, hopeless feeling, the wanting everything to just be over. But.......Is it worth it? I don't think there is an absolute answer to this. For me, I'd say no. Tomorrow could bring a cure. I just do what I need to do to get through each day. Marion

[Buttons2]

It's me but I just had to add something to my name cause someone decided to "take it" from me!

Deep question-to say the least!

I'm gonna say that for those that do succeed it must have been worth it for them,we will never know!

Remember Army? How we all gave support & encouragement for him to hang on? I've no idea if he decided in the end to let go or if God finally took him?? I DO know that he kept ME from giving up around that time.

What we can do is keep always in our mind that if we succeed in suicide there's no coming back, there's no second chance. We won't be around to explain to all the people who knew us why we left them.

I have to work very hard to stay out of the black pit. And when I say that BT has literally saved my life I mean it.

Just knowing that every morning I can log on & connect with my cyber friends is beyond description to those that have no idea/concept of suicidal ideation.

I made 2 attempts many years ago,if I'd succeeded I would have taken my youngest son with me! I'd moved away from my family & was in an abusive marriage,felt completely alone & had nobody to turn to for help. Now we have crisis lines/centers,the internet & (possibly) mental health professional help. Are these resources helpful? I have no idea myself.

I've suffered for nearly 40 years with depression. I've suffered from having a family member commit suicide & it took me all of 2 years to shed my own quilt in not reacting to the danger signs,I was the last person to talk with him on the phone & it was horrific to get a call a few hours later telling me he'd blown his brains out.....

Suicide is a final solution to a temporary problem. This is what I keep telling myself. The people left behind are never going to "be okay" with it. Any sudden death is tragic for those left behind,suicide can never be considered "worth it" by those still alive! So hang on!! Buttons

[kennethhoff]

I think it's a good question and worthy of an honest answer. My humble opinion is yes. I say this because no one can ever know the life of another. Is a person in intractable pain fron cancer or parkinsons who wants to take their life because there is absolutley no quality left of life left wrong? Life and death are choices. Only we can decide if we want to continue living, no one else should have that right.
I too have had many bouts of deep depression and have come close. But the survival instincts are very strong. That is how we are created in my belief. The body and mind fight hard to find hope. But even now I battle with debilitating pain and find myself asking those same questions. What IS quality fo life? Is it merely existing? I personally believe that this world is a dream and the physical body is not who we are. Nor the brain, nor the mind. I belive we are spirit. And I pray each day to find the will to continue when all hope of a cure is lost. Call it selfish, self-pity, anything you want. But until you have walked in anothers shoes, you will never know what quality of life that person must endure. Right and wrong are judgements. Let your God, or Buddha or Jesus or Allah, etc.. decide. I do the best I can do and try to live each day as it were my last. Someday it will be.

[suede]

I rarely talk about this but apparently feel the need after reading your question and the relpies.
First let me say "The Green Mile" is one of the few movies I have watched many times.
I have been suicidial I believe most of my life, I remember even as a small child the thoughts and plans I made.
I have made many attempts in my lifetime and like you was once pronouced dead only to be revived that was in 1996 and since have changed in my way of thinking and feeling. Isn't it weird I know I twisted my way of believeing in to the fact that hey if I tried and it worked it wasn't wrong it just meant it was my time, I no longer see life in that twisted light any longer.
The one thing I do know is that I have 3 children that are all suicidial and I am so ashamed of myself for having done what I did in 95 and what I put them and my DH through, It's really hard to talk to to your children and tell them how much life has to offer and how suicide is so wrong when you have put them through such a terrible ardeal as I did.
I have since done a lot of research and studing trying to figure out why I have had such suicide tendencies and have found that suicide tendencies can be inherited, I can't argue that, I know little of my family history but I do know that my children have the tendency so.
Also h=after much research I know now of suicidal tendencies I had that I never knew were, such as driving in accsess of a 100 miles an hr and reckless of mixing drugs and alcohol and much more.
After all I have learned and been through I'd love to be able to say I would never try again but I can't I don't believe I will I know I have little desire to go on but not thoughts of suicide, I know that the last time I tried and was brought back that I had not been planning it or even thinking of suicide when I did that and then was the first and hopefully the last time it will ever happen like that.
As to the question as to is it worth it, I believe the only ones that could know are the ones that are no longer here, however I have to believe no after seeing first hand the effect of suicide can have on the loved ones left behind.
Linda

[millgirl]

Very interesting. I firmly believe that a person suffering from a terminal painful illness has the right to commit suicide. But suppose the person is not terminal. suppose one suffers from chronic intractible pain. Is that something one should have to live with? Who decides that? there may b a cure someday. Is that a good enough reason to continue to suffer? An important consideration is the impact of a suicide on others. Does my spouse need me? do my children? How much? Do their needs trump my suffering? I don't know the answers. No second chance is a major obstacle. Another obstacle is not knowing if the paln will succeed. I am very much afraid of a failed attempt. BTW, i have never made an attempt. so far my creteria have never all fallen into place.

Recently, i set a deadline. if i don't feel better by x, i don't want to live. I did feel better so the issue became moot. Well yesterday, my doctor called. Tests r negative and he has no suggestions for coping with the pain. do i set another deadline? i don't know. i was hoping to get myself to a place with peace that doesn't preclude living. I don't want to die. i know that. i just don't want to live in pain.

[kennethhoff]

Millgirl-

I agree with you and I know how you feel. It is a difficult thing. Most people really do not want to die. All they want is the pain to stop. Be it mental OR physical. Like you, I also have intractible pain and have tried whatever I and other docs can think of. Next year will be some type of surgery. ADR, infusion pump, something.
When your gone, no seceond chances. I was even thinking this morning, as bad as it is, as long as I am alive, there is hope. It may be very small now, but it does exist. I think when you have tried everything possible, and that's usually a long list, then the question becomes even more important. When even surgeries fail, the last stop in my mind is a pump. Enough pain medicine will kill anything. Even a bad headache:)
But it is worth a try. Medtronics is the company that makes them. I may do it myself next year since my quality of life is nil at this point.
But at least I wanted you to know someone knows exactly what you feel.
Ken

[millgirl]

Ken, thank u for your post. I am not a candidate for a pump. I have my headaches under control, at least for now but the pain meds are causing constipation. I have tried everything out there for the constipation and i am not controling it very well. Besides that i have a large diverticulum in my esophagus causing me no end of grief. GI doc says surgery is not an option.

It just never ends. I have so many problems it is hard to keep track. I just about begged for my knee and shoulder arthroscopies. the doctors were telling me it is ok if i just want to live with the pain and disability. Who wants that?

I never tell the doctors how i feel. i don't think they would understand.

[Jill]

Yes, interesting. I am someone I guess from "the outside" because outside of some dramatic thinking when I was a teenager, I haven't had serious thoughts of suicide.

I can attest to how it ISN'T worth it for the people left behind. I came upon this for the first time in high school when my best friend's chronically depressed mother shot and killed herself in the house with the children home. What that did to the family was terrible.

I married a man who I feel was probably suicidal most of the time I knew him and probably about all of his life. It wasn't until we had been married for fifteen years and he started spinning out of control in various ways that I saw it. The car accidents and other high risk behaviors made some sense. A year after our marriage ended he called me to apologize for the hundreth time. That night he hanged himself after an argument with his girlfriend. Her nine year old girl was in the house.

Yes, I believe that if someone essentially has no quality of life, then they should be allowed to make this choice with some dignity. I have known people who still fight to see every new day in the most dire of health circumstances, so I don't see suicide as primarily for health issues most of the time. I think it is more the mental pain.

I can't see how it would be worth it for the one who suicides because it is then just over. I don't know anyone who has been touched by suicide who could say it was ever worth it. I have to believe there are better options than leaving such destruction.

[simby]

in my case, i really didn't want to die. I just didn't want to live in the abyss, with pain and despair at my side, any longer.
Thank God it didn't work.

So, to answer your question, imho, no, its never worth it.

Just some days its so very inviting.

[RustyD]

In 1998 I sat down with a bottle of gin, and three hundred one grain phenobarbitol. I was found 2 days later, barely alive. I died three times before my 40 days in the hospital were over..

Was it worth it? For me yes, but obviously for god - no. The pain I lived in physically and emotionally had been on my mind for weeks. As did the thought of suicide.

That night when I sat down, when I finally had made up my mind, I was very peaceful. The decision was made.. I had not set a date or a time, in fact that day had rarely thought about it. But that night, something just clicked and said, this is it..

Would I do it again? It is possible. The Chronic Pain and loss of who I was, still is a problem even though I am on major pain meds. Unfortunately too many that live with chronic disease end up taking their own lives. Then is it suicide or euthenasia? We do put our pets out of their misery that suffer, yet the rules seem to be different for man..

This is just my opinion and my history. I advise everyone that is considering this regularly to seek professional help.. I think the biggest thing for me was the loneliness.. No family, friends disappeared.. a story many are familiar with..

As to being worth it.. Ultimately it is each of our decisions to make.. For those of you who have family and friends, the impact on them is terrible. I too have seen that first hand.. Consider them in your process of deciding..

[Brenda45]

Yikes! Being a person in pain too....its nice to know my thoughts are not alone.
In such an isolated world of pain, suicide comes to my mind alot! But then, so does the questions of what would it do to my family? And Im not brave enough. What if the other side is worse MORE pain ? and the punishment to taking ones life with the Lord? I don't think suicide is the answer, but as one other person put it , It sure is inviting!!!
God Bless and I hope everyone is strong enough to hang on and see what He has instore for us after this life. May strength & wisdom be your guide here on earth.

[Buttons2]

Hi Brenda, just wanted to welcome you to BT, hope you will find some worthwhile forums here & make some new friends.

I worry about Survivor, the guy that actually started this thread. If you're out there Jim, please keep in touch!

Been several months since reading this thread so I went back over it, today I'm not suicidal, what bothers me is that I have no way of knowing when I'll be plunged into the despair that brings on the suicidal thoughts! It can happen in an instant it seems. Everything just piling up on me & I sink into what I call the black pit of despair.

Almost a year ago I adopted a dog, he is literally what keeps me going-that might sound strange to some people, believe me it's the truth. My kids are grown,my family doesn't live nearby,my friends have their own lives & are scattered over the country.....I have a big mutt that needs me. Whatever it takes to keep hanging on.....

Bless all of us,Buttons

[Brenda45]

Hi Buttons, and thank you for the welcome. Im an old timer from way back and haven't been here for years. Have no idea what brought me back, I guess sometimes its just comforting to know your not alone.

Im worried about survivor too. i pray he is strong enough to keep on going. God Bless his aching soul.


And your so right about animals and they're UNcondtional love. Im so glad you have something to hold on for. and again thanks for the warm welcome.