Tired and not ready for this. [Archive]

houghchrst

11-28-2008, 08:11 PM

Mom has been moved out of rehabilitative services center back to hospital today. Cognitive function next to nil compliments of idiot doctors who are quicker to write a scrip rather than read a patient chart and prescribed her morphine which makes her unable to think or function after 3 days and she tried to get out of bed 3 times without help and fell on the floor. So center informs me they can no longer handle her and she needs to go to hospital. Get to hospital and she is still incoherent like yesterday when I visited her at center. I told them to change meds then. Never dreamed she would try to get out of bed again. Good thing I asked for an xray at hospital or they would have never known for at least another day or two that when she fell on the floor she fractured her pelvis and that is why she was in excruciating pain. Not just because of her back. CT scan shows a spot on her lung that didn't use to be there, hoping it is just a bit of fluid in the lungs but doc really didn't sound that way when I mentioned it.

So I sit in ER all day to make sure that she is taken care of because she babbles on and gives wrong info and actually told a lab nurse her last name was MacLane. It's not LOL! She had the kindest, most wonderful, efficient male nurse. One of the best I have ever seen and I actually told him so. Then when I am sure she is getting a room and all tests have been done and she is warm and has pulled everything out and off that she can ie: IVs, Picc line, wrist bands, phone home finger, then I finally go pick up my child from my brother and head home.

Now we wait for her head to clear. 2, 3 days, then some physical therapy and she will go back to rehab facility. We will start all over again. I think.

I know I usually don't post here but I guess I am earning the right. I really don't want it. I have begun carrying the patient advocate papers she had drawn up naming me in my purse. Just in case. That way if I have to get them out and wave them in front of some impertinent doctors face then I will.

I am scared, I know I am losing my mother. It is going faster than it should. I know that it is because of her drinking in the first place and it is her own fault.

I just am not ready for this, I guess nobody ever is.

Buttons2

11-28-2008, 09:07 PM

Oh Christina,I'm so sorry this has happened! Try to think positive,I realize that might not be possible but she is hopefully going to improve (in spite of the nitwits that let her fall!).

(((((hugs & hang in there))))))

waves

11-29-2008, 07:22 AM

I am so sorry to hear about this. I don't really know what to say. I know i would be scared all to heck myself. But Pati has a point, try not to lose hope. Try to take things a day at a time... indeed, an hour at a time, or less. Stay in the present tense as much as possible. (i know, easy to say:rolleyes: ... all you can do is try anyway). Staying in the present actually doesn't automatically happen... you need to bring yourself back to the moment, whenever your thoughts run away with themselves imagining worse scenarios.

i hope the spot on the lung is something readily treatable or transient. doctors must always remain kinda reserved... they can't ever give reassurance unless they have 100% info that something is "nothing" so, do not lose hope because the doctor sounded dubious. it is their job to be dubious and dubious-sounding when info is preliminary.

You are doing a great job keeping after the changes and mishaps and incompetence your mom is going through. And yes good idea to have the advocacy papers on you.

i'm sorry i am not present at the same forums you choose to post. i did a search for your posts and found this... had to reply. i am having a tough time moods are left right but not center it seems, but i will try to keep an eye on this thread.

in any event, in case i have trouble posting, know that you and your mom will be daily in my thoughts and prayers.

and... here's a big hug from me :o ...
http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif
~ waves ~

p.s. yes you are a caregiver and have the "right" to post here,

houghchrst

11-29-2008, 01:50 PM

Well mom is in her room on what they call a monitoring floor. Called first thing this morning because I knew that the nurses had not been clued in as to what exactly what was going on with her. Of course they knew some of her problem was over medication but did not know that she is fully functional normally, or that she fractured her pelvis getting out of bed at the center. She had told them she fell down the stairs :rolleyes:.

She is sleeping a lot and refusing to eat but as long but as long as she is sleeping then I know her poor muddled brain is trying to recover. Tylenol only for pain which for now will have to do, because as long as she is not moved she is not in severe pain, yet. They have put her on a heart monitor and I asked why and they said just to keep an eye out. She must be getting somewhat better because she hasn't pulled out the leads or ripped out her IV :eek::D.

So later on I will go up and inform the new shift nurse what is going on. The worst part is that my mom will start to become aware and wake up tomorrow or Monday morning and wonder why she is where she is and will be freaked. Having almost no recollection as to what has gone on for almost the last week.

thanks guys for letting me go on, I am sure I will be doing it often here.

tic chick

11-29-2008, 06:21 PM

from one caregiver to another.....

2311

jeannie

waves

11-30-2008, 04:32 PM

Hi there, Christina

just thinking about you. Checking in to see if there were any news. I know you might be too tired to post too. I will check in again. ;)

Hope things are going for the best. And please take time to take care of you, along with everybody else.

love~n~hugs

~ waves ~

Buttons2

11-30-2008, 05:05 PM

Take it one day at a time Christina. You know all about that. I'm also thinking of you & hoping you can have a few stressless days (is that a word?).

I'd probably ask again about her lung just to have some reassurance ya know? Maybe get a second opinion? Or another x-ray?

It's a good thing she's sleeping,give her body time to heal. Why would the nurses not know she fell out of the bed & broke her pelvis? Aren't these 2 places in contact with each other or what?!!!

Hopefully things will go smoother than you anticipate when she becomes fully aware of her surroundings.

On a side note I have to say I also pulled out all the tubes & threw a fit when I last had surgery! Not a good thing to lie to patients ya know.....

houghchrst

12-01-2008, 01:27 PM

Hi all, saw mom yesterday, she was so glad to see me the second I took her hand she started crying and said this was all her fault. All I could do was tell her that we could fix this. Notice the "could". She was almost completely lucid though there were one or two left field comments.

The nurses were just looking at the patient chart that said she merely had a fractured pelvis, not how she did it and then when she first went in she was telling them that she fell down the stairs and all kinds of things like that so there was some confusion. She didn't fall out of bed. She was getting out of bed though she wasn't supposed to and trying to walk around. She was out of it and claimed at the time that she was going to the bathroom but who knows, she could have thought she was going to have a cigarette.

I haven't had a real chance to talk to her and see how much she remembers. I had CJ and Shortcake with me yesterday because we were out to do some things so when it was okay with her and she had a few minutes to recover they came in. I don't know if I will make it out today with the weather like it is. Today seems to be a pain day too.

So hopefully we can start over and get on the right path but you never know and I am not holding my breath.

Thank you guys.

Nana4&cntn

12-01-2008, 07:27 PM

How did I miss this? Christina, I wish there were magical words to help you in this. She is in for a long road with a crushed pelvis, I hope they can manage pain without knocking her out.

Sweetie, it is always seems to rain Hippo's when family is concrned. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, I am also praying for your mom to have a sucessful recovery!

I think you are doing a wonderful job, taking on the role of Daughter and Advocate. I wish you all the best! Are your brothers helping at all? I sure hope the one who kept shortcake can help more.

Sweetie, all I can say is to take it minute by minute. Have they said if she will need surgery to fix her pelvis? I just can't believe the rehab place gave her access to get out of bed!

I wish there was something else I could say to make this better for both of you! Please know I am sending prayers your way!

Take care of yourself the best you can! ((((((((((((((((((christina)))))))))))))
Kathy

Lavandula Canadensis

12-01-2008, 10:46 PM

{{{{{{{ to Christina & your mom }}}}}}}

http://dl8.glitter-graphics.net/pub/623/623558o9ymyrvf15.gif (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)

joy

12-01-2008, 11:17 PM

Just thinking of you christina and wishing aoll the best like all of us are doing right now for you and family.

waves

12-03-2008, 02:34 AM

I was glad to read your mom's mental status has hugely improved and you were able to connect with her. That is one good thing!

I wonder if they will keep her in the hospital with the fracture of the pelvis... what is the plan for that? is surgery required?

I am wary of that rehab place since she was allowed to get out of bed ... unmonitored and unASSISTED. I wonder if there might be a different rehab facility available to her?

You take the days off that you need. Your health is important. I know you put others first... and mothers and caregivers do seem to do that, sometimes losing themselves... but even in that perspective, remember you need to be yourself as fit as possible to help others.

I wonder if you could include yourself as someone you are a caregiver to. Some psychological gymnastics for you. But, in reality, we are our own caregivers before anyone else is.

Anyway, keep us posted on mom's situation. You are both in my prayers.

((( hugs )))

~ waves ~

Buttons2

12-03-2008, 12:44 PM

Thinking of you & your mother. ((((HUGS))))

joy

12-03-2008, 12:49 PM

Christina I hope there is something that can be done for both you and your mom. She can't go back and do anything for anyone ever again. Sounds as if her heart was way to big for her body to manage things for a long time to me. Explains a lot of course but habits are hard to mend.

Just proceed as best you can and keep us in the loop please. It happens that way, seems when things are looking up, yo get slapped back down again. But be hopeful please, I think my hubby's got a bit of the doldrums himself. He watches too much of the news and knows all our savings are gone, kaput, and we both are already retired, or he is, I was disabled long before retirement days.

Ood thing was, he was the provider and I realy wanted a job so I could be arounbd people. I had babysit for people and to get more money for lawyers after we adopted the second kid, so I wanted a paying job. Well the kids pay off in blues stuff more than sweetness stuff moist days, thank God for grand kids, huh! Well later for y'all. But have to lok for something to keep you going.

welsh

12-04-2008, 08:56 AM

Christina hunnie Im not trying to scare or offend you but please please ask them to check if the shadow on your mom`s lung is pneumonia, as this is such a common thing to happen after breaks of the pelvis or the hips in particular in bed bound patients !!! And nowadays it is so easily treatable with antibiotics either iv or orally,end of !! Sweetheart how I wish I lived near you to help and assitt you and even let you have time out as you too need to look after yourself too for the sake of both your mom and you, let alone your children. I only worry `bout ya as your such a dear friend to me hunnie and ya know that,goodness knows the times youve been there for me hun...Sending you loads of love n best wishes hunnie, Demi

Jo6

12-05-2008, 05:49 PM

my dear, I had no idea your Mom had progressed this much. I'm so sorry the both of you are going thru this.

Caregiver Support is just that! I should have checked more often. I hurt for you as well as your Mom. MIL broke her hip over a year ago and hasn't taken a step sinse. The day after the surgery she had a stroke. now she can't function on the right side at all.

She is in the last stages of Alzheimer's Disease. I am not suggesting your Mom has AD. Please understand that. The broken bone could take awhile to heal. She has to be frightened of all the new things coming at her.

Christina, you have GOT to take care of YOU! The hospital will care for your Mom for awhile. Take advantage of the time you have. You are indeed a caregiver and a darn good one at that!!

My love and prayers are with you for Mom as well as Christina *cg14

my love, Jo

houghchrst

12-05-2008, 11:17 PM

Mom has gone back to the center tonite. The fracture of her pelvis was very small and they have her taking calcium and Fosomax. They will not be doing surgery. She says her Laminectomy is fine and the infection is pretty well gone, so is the spot on her lung which was just phlegm I guess the said.

She almost didn't go because when I called her today she said that the cardiologist wanted to keep her until Monday. She was napping and her heart stopped, just for a moment and then when it started back up it shot up to 160 then dropped to normal. Well it was her wishful thinking because after some tests and monitoring they released her.

Waves it was not that she got out of bed unattended, if she had been in her right mind she never would have gotten out of bed but because she was so out of it because of the medication she just got right up like she was going to the bathroom without calling (button) for assistance and fell to the floor. Laws here in Michigan state that the nursing homes are not to restrain the clients so she didn't have bed rails. It was not a hospital facility, just a rehab facility and they had no idea. So I don't blame them. I blame the last doc she saw before she left the hospital that didn't read the chart that said not to give her Morphine.

Joy she said to me that she had the option of getting a hospital bed at home and going out to physical therapy but she knows what will happen so that is why she opted to go back to the center. I am so relieved. This place really does have a wonderful physical therapy center. Then when her insurance no longer pays for her inpatient she can continue therapy there on an outpatient basis. I told her I or my brother would take her 2 or 3 times a week no matter how many. The social worker also suggested that we attend sometimes so that we can learn how to properly help her get up, or in and out of bed.

Jo one of my biggest fears is that she will get home and sit there in her lazy boy and just quit. That is one of the first things I thought of when I heard about her pelvis. I know the statistics for those type of injuries at her age.

Demi you are in my heart, I know you are thinking of me/us and your prayers are felt. That is plenty.

She just doesn't seem that old to me. Just a little more than a year ago we were shopping for flowers for her yard.

Wow am I tired lol.

Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers. They are welcome and much needed.

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

dawnmn

12-06-2008, 12:50 AM

((((Hugs)))) that's all I can say. After going through it with my mom, I know how it can be.

Buttons2

12-06-2008, 12:20 PM

Christina, I'm thinking of you everyday for whatever that's worth! Wondering about your brother,is he planning to stay @ her house? I'm glad she will stay in rehab for awhile longer,a good place to heal & not be able to drink! Also relieved to hear it's a small fracture & she won't need surgery.

(((((HUGS)))))

joy

12-06-2008, 01:06 PM

Christina I don't know which I'm the happiest about, your mother finally getting some help or your brother cleaning himself up and doing a LOT better. I'm hoping that this is just the beginning for your whole family to heal and come together.

Families are what it's all about for me. And sadly I know just how far they can fall apart. Even without much of anything to blame it on. But that's what makes me happiest, is to hear that it is working for someone else. And Christina, you deserve it just as much as any of us do. Here's hoping things keep going in the right direction.

BYW, just how old is your mother? I know age really doesn't have all that much to do with arthritis but some start going downhill before age 30 even!!! I did.

houghchrst

12-07-2008, 08:12 PM

My mom is 63 but she hardly seems that to me. I saw her again today and she is in good spirits though her roommate is a bit*hy old bird and is constantly complaining and ringing for the nurses. Cranking her TV up then complaining when my mom watches hers. They made her get out of bed for a change and participate in some goings on and the lady was not happy.

My mom said she is going to give it until Wednesday and if she is not happy with how things work out then she is going to rent a wheel chair and come home and do outpatient therapy. I don't know how she plans to do that. Right now she is using a bed pan for kripes sake. Someone stole her slippers while she was in the hospital. I took everything out that was worth anything and it never occurred to me that some idiot would steal a pair of slippers. Anyway she went back during the skeleton crew for the weekend so service is slow lol. We will see, even if I can get her to stay for two weeks then I think she will be much farther along.

She started having some pain and problems with her back and feet when she was in her 50's.

Buttons2

12-08-2008, 06:03 PM

Christina, hope your mom will stay put for awhile but we all realize a hospital is not the best place to be! (or is she back to the rehab place now? I can't recall).

Just curious,but has she wanted to discuss her drinking problem yet? Some of her nerves might have survived the years of booze abuse & be coming back to life now. Has anyone considered getting her on B12?

You're right that 63 isn't that old. Did I tell you what my son said when he saw the pic's of me & my sister? He said she looks older than me & yet I'm 59 & she just turned 50. It's the booze! She weighs less than me but her face was all puffy & she looked awful. She asked me one day about her feet feeling prickly & of course shrugged off my comment that alcohol kills brain cells AND nerves.

Take it as it comes dear,so much of this is simply out of your control.

houghchrst

12-09-2008, 03:07 PM

Mom is back at the center. She doesn't talk about her drinking but I had mentioned when I signed the papers for her to be there that I would like a psychologist to visit her.

The doc that was visiting her when she first hurt her back put her on B12 but that didn't last long.

Buttons2

12-09-2008, 06:19 PM

How about pushing for her to get a B12 shot? Alcohol has depleted her B vits & alot more.

OT, but guess who called & has a broken nose from being attacked on the streets? HM's daughter! Wanting to come here of course but I said no way. My sister's visit is still too fresh in my mind for a repeat of drunken behavior.

waves

12-09-2008, 07:38 PM

Well, i guess i've been out of it for more than a couple of days... or i missed your post or something (arghhh!!)

Well, i am VERY glad about the fracture being small, and the spot being phlegm and things just sounding overall much more positive for your mom, not the least of which her not needing the surgery. Yes i do hope she will stick it out at the rehab place for a couple of weeks.

I agree about the B supplementation, but if the doc stopped, they may have tested her and she may be ok. still, B's are "building blocks" for some neurotransmitters but need to be taken in balance with each other, and other stuff like magnesium and vitamin c. zinc is also heavily depleted by drinking and smoking, and works with vitamin B's also. it's all intricate. but they can definitely check for b12 deficiency, and b1 b2 b6 are the cardinal work-togethers for the rest.

anyway, i feel relieved for you. i know you must still be worried, but things sound a WHOLE lot better than before. the unknowns are fewer, and what is known is more positive certainly than some of the fears that were there.

~ waves ~ with healing wishes for you and all of your family ;)

Nana4&cntn

12-10-2008, 12:42 AM

Ah Sweetie, I sure hope you are taking care of yourself and getting enough sleep, I think I read you are mid flare, so these things are very important!

I am very happy tho hear the spot on the lung was pflem, also the pelvic fracture was small. I would imagine PT would be painful with the pelic fracture, small or not.

I can't rememner if you have power of attorney or not, but if so you should talk to the doc about the reasons you believe she should have it. Even if you don't you can talk to the doc and ask that he tell her it is medication to help heal, it really is the truth.

Usually places like she is in will get her back to where she is able to care for herslef (at least here) I woulk think that would take a good amount of time. She will probably need to have on going PT when she gets home also.

I am keeping you all in my prayers! I hope you have a nice hot bath and a good nights sleep!

Love ya

houghchrst

12-13-2008, 12:17 PM

Saw mom yesterday morning, surprised bright and early right after taking shortcake to school. She is actually within a 2 mile radius both from my house and the school so shooting almost a straight shot after school drop off is easy.

She wants to talk to the social worker about staying there longer and what her options are because her insurance will only pay for two more weeks and she knows she will not be ready to come home. This pelvic fracture was a huge setback. If it weren't for the fracture she would probably be walking a bit already. The way it was explained to me when she was signed in was that she would have to have no liquid assets in order to qualify for Medicaid on top of her Medicare and they would pay. My brother is legally listed as Power of Attorney? when she passes, I think that is what it is called. You would know Kathy, he is to be in charge of all the financial stuff. At first it was to be me but I am not mentally capable of that so I was so glad that she changed it to him. He is very good with money and all that. I handle the medical.

The other day when I was there they were getting her dressed and as they moved her she was in such pain I could hear her down the hall. I asked her about her pain meds and she said she gets them twice a day :eek:, they come in the a.m and ask if she needs one :confused: then in the p.m. and do the same :mad:. So I went down and asked what she was getting, I knew they changed to Percocets on my recommendation but I had a sneaking suspicion that she was only getting 5/325. Sure enough the nurse said that is what she was getting :eek::mad::mad::eek:. I was so mad, that is what you give someone with a sprained thumb not a damned fractured pelvis. No wonder she was in such pain. So I told the nurse she needed to contact the doc asap and have the dosage raised and that my mom needed to be dosed on a regular basis. IDIOTS!! So the next day when I went the doc had doubled the dosage and she was getting them like she was supposed to. Finally getting some pain relief.

I don't know why she didn't stick up for herself. If it is this matyr complex she has, yes I know it is part of her mental illness and I was actually accused of the same by an old therapist LOL, or if she is just old fashioned and figures whatever the doc says ...........

So I am relieved that she is not coming home yet but I have no idea how we will handle Christmas without her. My oldest brother said we should bust her out of there for the day. Maybe I could have Christmas here and she could lay in my lazyboy and my youngest brother drives for Your Ride so he could arrange for pickup and take back. Man am I ready to deal with Christmas at Chris' house LOL.

Ah you guys I am rambling now. Kathy NO I have not really had a chance just for me to relax unless you call laying in bed in pain in the evening before bedtime watching TV, me time. I have not spent enough time here at BT either and have fallen behind.

I hope you all are doing well. Jeannie if you read this I hope you are doing well and getting a chance to relax and that your mother is doing as well as can be expected.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs to all}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

joy

12-13-2008, 12:22 PM

It is good to hear from you Christina. I know there is a million things to be done, & that makes it all the more appreciated that you fill you in on what's going on with you. You'll make it. We have not done a thing in prepration of having guests in our house next week. Not bought any gifts either. But Christmas will happen whether we are ready or not.

houghchrst

12-13-2008, 12:22 PM

Pati I am so sorry about hm's daughter. How awful. I guess somewhere I missed that his daughter drank. That was the precipitator for her broken nose?

I am glad that you put your foot down. Tough love is hard.

Nana4&cntn

12-13-2008, 10:46 PM

Christina, Boy I wish I had the answer about how long your MOM will be able to stay in the hospital, usually it is 30-45 days with madicare. The social worker should be able to start her admission to the day she was admitted for the fractured pelvis. Additionally she had been under medicated so that has slowed her progress. I do believe the Social Worker has some work to do. It would be irresponsible of them to release her before she can stand or is able to at least be able to sit comfortably in a wheelchair.

I also feel it is the Hospitals responsibility to treat her as long as necessary as they did not send specific instructions to the rehab. They may have, I seen to remember they did, if that is the case your brother should be suing on her behalf, for the fractured hip. It was shear negligence on their part. That doesn't help the immediate though.

I did have a friend who had some serious medical problems here and medicaid kicked in, I know I was surprised at the time, they did. Mainly because he owned a house. I don't know your mon's financial situation and don'e expect you to share that with me. Is it possible for you to talk to Medicare and explain the situation to them? Or your brother would be best, since he has POA.

I have a few more ideas, maybe you could call me and I would call you right back so the call is on me! Call it a Christmas gift, please do call! Love ya sweetie!

Pati, I am also tough love was used for HM daughter, was he able to do it on his own? Did he need help from you as to what to do? I am Happy you will have a nice quiet Christmas minus alcohol!

houghchrst

12-30-2008, 12:34 AM

Well looks as though mom is coming home on Wednesday. She is really not ready, her PT person knows it but her insurance is done and she can't afford to pay out of pocket. Actually she does have the means if she really tried, to stay for at least 2 weeks. She is able to stand with help, walk the parallel bars turn and sit. That is it. She keeps saying she can stand with 2 people but who the hell is this second person she is talking about. I will go up tomorrow to make sure everything has been finalized.

I am not looking forward to this.

Buttons2

12-30-2008, 03:06 PM

Christina,this doesn't sound right to me.....but then I'm rather ignorant of how Medicare,etc. all works. On the other hand she's been abused (in my opinion) by the medical profession. First let her fall & break her pelvis,then mess up her pain meds!

Am I right in thinking YOU will need to help her physically? What are they thinking? Can she qualify for some type of in the house help? (caregiver) How will she be able to get dressed,bath,etc? I've never had a broken pelvis but it seems to me if she's still in pain she can hardly be expected to do normal everyday grooming,etc.

Appreciate that you take the time to keep us updated. I think some ranting might be in order about now.....so let it go! We're here for you.

P.S. I had no business bringing up HM's daughter on your thread,the saga continues so I'll post on the alcohol forum.

Hope things go smoothly for your mom & someone will pitch in & help!

joy

12-30-2008, 03:14 PM

I was wondering myself if she would qualify for elder crae. But it may be like it was when they came out asking questions about my mother.

Never was I as depressed as I was then. With all the question they asked (at THAT time) it was ME more so than mother who was feeling helpless. It was I who was in the boot & was suppose to be DOWN and staying off my feet. It just brought back to me how bad my own health was at the time. But at my age I was unqualified for any of it. and at age 63, I imagine your mother is unqualified herself, at least she would be for our programs here at any rate.

I know when my PN first came out in the open, I was so shocked to learn that even if I felt that bad, knowing that NO insurance company would take me, that I was NOT qualified for any and it hit me just how bad having something like that was. No insurance company wanted any of it at all. Then it sunk in just how bad this crud could get!! Not things I wanted to realise at all. Just wanted to close my eyes and it all go away!! Not gonna happen tho!

houghchrst

12-30-2008, 09:33 PM

My mom has talked to the doc that did her back surgery and mentioned filing suit regarding her meds being screwed up which led to her fall. It was not the center's fault but the fault of the doctor that prescribed the medication before she left the hospital. The center did not know that she was going to get out of bed, she had been instructed not to do so but because she was not of her right mind due to the meds she did anyway. At the center the most they could do was put a bed alarm on. By that time it was too late, her pelvis had already been fractured. They did xrays immediately but on her surgical site to make sure all rods and such were still in place. She never indicated any pain in her pelvis until the hospital and I asked for xrays to be taken.HE told her that if her pelvis has any trouble healing due to her osteoporosis then she may want to look into it.

She is going to have visiting nurses coming to the house for OT and PT.

Actually Pati I have no idea what she is thinking. I know she is sick of being there, but she keeps saying "I can get up and down with two people". Wow that is great so am I supposed to run to your house to help my brother every time you have to use the bathroom.

He can do a lot but his back and right knee and leg are so messed up that I have been begging him to go to the doctor. Yeah well, in one and out the other. He has been living with my mom too long, he handles his health care like she does.

I have no problem being a help but she is by no means ready. Even another 2 weeks would be better than now and she would have to do some fund transfers but she can afford it. It would be worth it.

So I have her wheelchair and will meet the transfer people at the center.

I just keep going back to how there is no reason for her to be in this position, this is all her fault and it makes me so angry that I am going to be held responsible to see that everything that needs to be done gets done.

Crap. I made myself cry again. I hate this. I want it all to go away. I just want to be normal and lea

Buttons2

12-31-2008, 07:23 PM

Christina,helping your mom shouldn't be an option. You say she has money.....well let her spend some of it for help. And I realize good help is hard to find.

Can she use a walker? Or will she be in a wheelchair? As for your brother,well I'm thinking he's better off than YOU are so let him figure it out? Get her one of those toilet seat cushion things if she needs help getting on/off the toilet?

I wish I could just whisk you away to a nice beach somewhere & your worst problem would be getting a sunburn!:D:D:D

Don't let all this smother you & drag you right down into that pit! Tell yourself you're OK until you begin to believe it somewhat.

(((((hugs))))))

houghchrst

01-01-2009, 12:26 AM

Mom is home. She and I talked about her option of staying longer and she didn't want to stay because she didn't want to spend our inheritance on the center. I could have cried. I told her that at least another month would have made a huge difference and it would have been nothing really. Krikey she has her banker transfer 5 grand at a time to have major things fixed or for Christmas shopping that would have been more than enough. I couldn't care less about the damn inheritance in comparison to her health. I think after that first trip to the bathroom she realized she was a bit premature.

My brother who lives with her knew she was coming home and when and of course made sure he was not there, instead at his lady friends drinking up his Christmas money. I don't know what I was thinking. I was the one who handed out the gifts I don't why I just didn't buy him some gifts, stick from mom on them and let that be that. God, hindsight is.............painful. Instead the oldest brother, the one who I least expected to be there was there to help and had the house unlocked and he and the neighbor man had the driveway snow blowed.

We have a walker at the bathroom door and she has her wheelchair but she is not strong enough to get up by herself to the wheelchair. She can wheel to the walker, use the walker for short stints like to the toilet but cannot pull herself up.

Pati sure would take you up on that beach lol.

Buttons2

01-01-2009, 02:28 PM

Well Christina at least one brother came through! I'm guessing you'll be over @ your mom's everyday to check on her? I hope she doesn't live too far away. Is she glad to be home finally?

Take it as it comes,just try not to overdo!

((((((hugs)))))))

P.S. I had to get my dose of sun watching the Rose Parade,cannot recall when we last had sunshine here!

houghchrst

01-02-2009, 12:39 AM

Oh Pati, my mom sat in a messy diaper all day long because she didn't want to ask me for help. I told her to call me for anything. I know my brother can't do it all. There are some things that she may not want him to do.

We went grocery shopping for her about 6 this evening and when we got back my brother took me aside and asked if we should ask her about changing her and getting on different clothes. She slept in the lazy boy and still had the same clothes on since I brought her home yesterday. I said 'you mean she is still in the same diaper since yesterday when we helped her'. Yep. I had been there at 1:30 and she said nothing so I figured her and my brother had been taking care of it. She is so damn stubborn, she waits for us to ask her but must have been telling him she was fine or else he waited for her to say something. It was horrible, we got her cleaned up real well but she needs a shower. I will have to see what I can work out. I told my brother to call us tonight when she is ready to go to bed and if need be we will go help get her comfortable in bed.

She was stronger today than ever and I am sure it is because she is home. She is feeling better psychologically. Wound care was out today, PT will come out tomorrow and discuss a schedule. I would like to be there for that.

Thank you Pati for letting me rant. You are a great listener, friend.

{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

Buttons2

01-02-2009, 02:37 PM

Christina, I'm feeling very sorry for your mom right about now. I'm close to her age & cannot imagine asking my son's to change a diaper......even a daughter if I had one. She must have been sooooo mortified. PT is one thing,but she needs daily caretaker in my opinion.

I'm glad she's home,didn't seem to be getting better in the hospital. I can understand that. I asssume she's still sober?

I hope this year will be a turnaround for her. She's too young to just give in or give up! And she is blessed to have you as a daughter & hopefully she lets you know this.

Just think,if everyday she can show some improvement then you can both see light at the end of the tunnel.

You began this thread saying you were tired & not ready. Well I'm pretty sure you will remain tired but you have met this challenge head on & give yourself alot of credit for do
ing whatever possible to help her.

((((((hugs))))) and truly hoping for the best possible outcome to all this!

Nana4&cntn

01-28-2009, 08:32 PM

Christina, how is your mom doing? I meant to ask you yesterday when we talked. I have kept her in my prayers, and duh, just haven't asked!

Have the Doc's said just how long it takes for a pelvis to heal? Well, geeeee I have a ton of questions!

waves

01-30-2009, 01:03 AM

i have checked here for an update periodically but found none... figured you had your plate overflowing between this and also other issues...

still, how is mom? and how are you holding up with her situation?

love

~ waves ~

Buttons2

01-30-2009, 02:13 PM

Yes I also hope she's doing OK. You don't need the plate to overflow right now!

houghchrst

02-04-2009, 11:22 AM

Hi all, sorry it has taken me so long to get back to this thread, been kind of a space case lately. Mom actually is doing great, her pelvis only took about 2-3 weeks to heal the fracture was so small. She is walking on her own a bit though she uses her walker and her wheel chair most of the time. Her physical therapy was put on hold for a bit because there was some confusion about her brace that she is supposed to wear but that will be up and going again.

The Zoloft that she is taking is a Godsend. It has changed her so immensely. Her outlook on life, her daily mood has just done a complete turn around. My brother is still staying there but I am paying her bills and doing the shopping. She is slowly but surely getting better. Her wound is taking a long time to heal but it is getting there.

Buttons2

02-04-2009, 03:16 PM

Thanks for the update! I'm so glad she's doing this well. When I was first taking Zoloft it was like night & day,and it worked for me immediately! I called it my "happy pill" I couldn't stop talking! I got my personality back!

Never mind that after 2 yrs I became suicidal & stopped taking it cold turkey. Everyone reacts differently ya know? Now I use B12 to help with depression.

waves

02-04-2009, 05:31 PM

Christina,

Thanks for checking in, and it's really great to know your mom is doing so well! :) :) :) Tell her i'm rootin' for her... and Zoloft's one of my fav's too :) Yes it can be a real lifesaver. I'm so glad it's working out for her. Keep an eye out for signs of hypomania... (read on to Pati's section) since - and i don't know if bipolar runs on your mom's side - but if so, given alone it could produce a manic switch at some point.

Pati,

i just have to say this... "couldn't stop talking" sounds like a hypomanic symptom... and given what happened later... wondering if bipolar runs in your family. Those with bipolar sometimes can't take SSRI's like Zoloft... some can, with a mood stabilizer. Even if you are not bipolar but have major depressive disorder, and have bipolars in your family... you might be predisposed to react with hypomania to some antidepressants. when hypomania is mild, and "pure" (i.e. not irritable) then it just feels GOOD and one can be really functional in that state... i.e. would not occur to them that they might be "too" happy... or that it is an indicator of possible mania. i'm glad you did not get manic, lol. i'm sorry for the later experience with the Zoloft. It is pretty much my standby antidepressant, tho i have to have a mood stabilizer with it. Wellbutrin worked better but is not available where i live :( - again tho i still need a stabilizer with that.

hugs to the both of you, and one for your mom, Christina!

~ waves ~

joy

02-05-2009, 02:30 AM

Christina I am glad your mother is doing better, really glad.

Waves my doctor said enough to me to cause me concern before he put me on Zoloft years ago. I "reckon" I did okay on it when I was on it for all I know, LOL. I am wondering tho, would you name some of those mood stabilizers? Me4aning I am not familiar & not thinking clearly at the moment as to what is one of those things? thanks

Buttons2

02-05-2009, 01:05 PM

Waves,you bring up a good point. I'm the only person I know that had an INSTANT reaction to Zoloft,the very first day I took the pill! I began @ a low dosage - 50mg & after a year was increased to 100mg. I didn't really want to increase but my doc said most people take 200mg!

I've asked myself if I might be bi-polar,I can just be going about my day and WHAM,suddenly I'm deep in a hole of depression for no apparent reason! I've also wondered about my mother,she's totally wacky these days but when I was growing up she ran hot or cold with her emotions. I used to watch out for her "nice" times cause then she'd turn right around & stab me in the back for no reason.

She's in her 70's now & refuses to take her meds for nigh BP & thyroid. Insists she doesn't have high BP even though she's already had one small stroke. I did alot of research about thyroid disease & realize it can cause some types of dementia,she sure has signs of that & her refusal to take her meds is just plain nuts!

add*a*girl

02-11-2009, 01:12 PM

*cg14 dear christina
i can relate so much with you.I'm new here so i hope i'm not forward jumping in but my heart made me feel for you.
you will be supplied with the energy and you will know what to do it because you love mom and she loves you.my mom passed on dec. 17.she became very sick conjested heart failure 3 yrs before.She should have died then by all she went through.
she had a little apt 2hrs away .i tried to get here to live with me.she got back to here place and did absolutly everything to stay.we all had to tend to her she only wanted a 5 min visit 3 time a week by a nurse. (very stubern)I did have a great time towards the end staying over and such getting to realy know her! till the end.67 lbs it was over within 24 hours at the hospital.

I know there will be ups and downs.I believe we are helped and watched over
from above.Things work out somehow.my mom said always"everything happens for a reason"

I pray for your strenth.I don't know people here yet.But I just had to enter this thread.
bless you
marion

Nana4&cntn

02-13-2009, 11:54 PM

Christina, Thanks for the update! I am so happy your mom is getting so much better. Even with you doing the shopping and finances I am sure it is a huge relief that she is doing so much better.

I hope you are feeling better also!

hugs, love ya
Kathy

houghchrst

02-16-2009, 12:03 AM

Marion thank you so much for the pop in and welcome to BT. Emotional Support is usually my spot but have not been in much for many reasons.

I am truly sorry about your mom, I can't imagine losing mine though with all that has happened I am a bit more prepared (?), I guess, for when it happens.

I am hoping that now that mine has had a proper awakening she will take care and be around longer.

It is very kind of you for the support and the comforting words.

Isn't it funny how some of our parents almost regress into the stubborn 4 yr old as they get older. We become the parent and they don't do what we tell them, they think they know everything and are always right, they are quite good at making us feel guilty if we reprimand them. The older they are the closer to being angry toddlers some get. My mother actually said to me today, wow I did not know that, I about fell out. That rarely happens lol. She is supremely stubborn. Very intelligent and not afraid to let you know it lol. Guess that's where I get it from.