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GinaMarie
11-19-2008, 07:13 PM
I think I can do this now without crying.. :(

I was tore up for a long time trying to decide what to do with my precious Grace. She was my heart. But.. she was getting to strong for me. She also was getting to strong for Adam and DEFINITLY to strong for Noah. Noah couldnt take her out potty. We had to take her out front on the leash to go potty because my backyard's fence was not high enough and I couldnt get to my backyard easily. When Noah took her out she would start running and ended up dragging him across the lawn on his stomach a few times. :( She almost took me down a few times especially if I didnt have my full attention and focus on HER. I also felt back keeping her in the house ALL the time and pretty much the only time she went out was to go potty and then come back in. I couldn't hardly get Nathan to take her out on walks and when I took her out on the powerchair it would hurt my back at times and a couple times especially if I didnt have the seatbelt on she almost pulled me out of the chair. She needed LOTS more exercise and training and I didnt have the money for it. :( So I felt she needed a better home than we could provide for her. We saved her life and gave her the best we could for 10 months.. now I guess it's time for her to move on. :(

Grace is with her new family.. :( She went on Friday. She is with Nathan's girlfriends family. If it doesn't work out then I will place her with a German Shepard rescue but Nathan didnt want her to go to the rescue (cuz then he wouldnt be able to see her). I wanted her to go to the rescue.

They do have a chihuaha also and a dog park just a couple blocks away and have taken Grace there already to play and Grace loves it! The people seem to love her according to Nathan. Im going to see if I can get their phone number so I can talk to Hannah's mom and make sure everything is ok.

I have cried so much the past few weeks with losing Ashley (my bird after 21 yrs) just two weeks ago and now Grace.

Im just starting to get used to not having Grace jump up and follow me everytime I get up to go to another room or to the bathroom or to hear her whine in the morning if we aren't up when she wants us up. The spot where her crate was is still a big empty spot here next to my recliner. Was kinda hoping she would have come back Sunday for me to have to call the rescue. Some of her stuff is still here so I still have reminders of her all around (AND LOTS Of her hair all around still. lol).

We were watching a quick video of Grace last night and the way she tilts her head when you say something she wants. It was funny cause she used to really bother the kitten and chase her and started pawing her and on this video clip Grace whines because I keep asking her if she wants to eat. I was playing it yesterday and the kitten was around.. Well the kitten I think has enjoyed Grace not being around and is enjoying the peace. lol Well when I had the speaker up and all the sudden she heard Graces's whine.. "rofl" She about FREAKED OUT Her head shot up and eyes got big and she ran. lol It was so funny... Can just imagine if Grace came for a visit what she would do. lol

I'll see if I can post that video on here.. Its so cute the way she tilts her head to the side when you say something she wants. Then we knew it was what she wanted.

My dad said why dont you just get a small dog then if Grace was to strong for you.. I told him that it wasn't just her being to strong. We dont have a good backyard fence and we cant go out of town when we have a dog. I've told my boys each time they bring a dog home that we just arent the type of family to have a dog unless it was like a service dog that legally can go with us. So. right now we have MY two cats and the kitten Jon left here which I want to find a home for. The kitten terrorizes my old cat and I dont like that. She is too old for that. PLUS she is getting at the age to start coming in heat and I DONT want kittens!!

When my old cat (Myacis) passes on, I told Noah I would like to get a Ragdoll cat. I like the big lazy cats. But not til Myacis goes. She doesn't like when new pets are brought in.

So lately I've pretty much stayed quiet and to myself so I dont seem like a downer to others.

Here are some pics I took of Grace the last day she was here..

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/GinaMarieH/Grace%20Moriah/GraceandNathanonNathansbed.jpg
Grace and Nathan

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/GinaMarieH/Grace%20Moriah/Gracechoosingwhichbooktoread8-14-08.jpg
Which book should I read?

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/GinaMarieH/Grace%20Moriah/Graceasleeponthebooks.jpg
All this reading has wore me out..

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/GinaMarieH/Grace%20Moriah/Graceeatingherlastmealhere8-14-08.jpg
Grace's last meal here at home.

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/GinaMarieH/Grace%20Moriah/Moriahstandingup-1.jpg
A VERY SICK Grace the day we got her in Jan...

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/GinaMarieH/Grace%20Moriah/Gracehearssomething-firstbirthdaysm.jpg
A MUCH HEALTHIER Grace on her 1 yr birthday in Aug!!

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/GinaMarieH/Grace%20Moriah/th_Gracesheadtiltwhenaskedabouteating.jpg (http://s57.photobucket.com/albums/g210/GinaMarieH/Grace%20Moriah/?action=view&current=Gracesheadtiltwhenaskedabouteating.flv)
Video of Grace tilting her head when she hears something she wants (like EAT) lol

I miss her so much. :(

milivica
11-20-2008, 02:24 AM
I know there is a feeling of loss, of grief too, multiplied especially after losing your dear bird of 21 years. When you can't manage all the physical and/or emotional needs of your animal then giving her to a family that will is an unselfish act of love. Believe me, I know what it's like to do what is right for another, even though it kills you to do it.

I know loss, I know grief, I know emotional bonds broken hurt unbearably. I wanted you to know, I understand the feeling of loss - even when there hasn't been a death. The good news is though, Gracie is not going to experience your sense of loss. If you can find comfort in that, in knowing Gracie is not grieving...she is adjusting, and striving to fit in her new pack, she is in the here and now, missing you I'm sure, but not dwelling like humans do. You saved her life, and will forever have places in her heart that you and your family shaped and nurtured with your love. That won't be changed or diminished, but with her new 'pack' it will grow.

You did what she needed, not what you needed. That's love. Focus all you can on her life, her new joys she wouldn't be able to do in your pack, the park and things like that which she's doing now, focus on her feeling joyful to help you through your time of loss and grief. Maybe your son can snap some pics of her enjoying herself for you to see to give you some relief, some healing.
Keep us posted dear lady,
Lisa

Kristen (ColeysMom)
11-20-2008, 09:30 AM
I agree 100% with Mili.

I am SO sorry that you've had to go through all this!!!!

Sheeshhh, this board is starting to look more like a grieving pets board than an autism board.:(

Will you be able to visit Grace, or Grace visit you from time to time?