Help...going crazy

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

I know this is going to seem like a stupid or minor thing, but it's driving me NUTS!

I feel like this decision is SO huge, when I try to minimize it, think only logically, I feel mean.

Ok, so I need to decide what to do about my 15 yo cat whose thyroid is failing.

On the medical side of things...

Her thyroid labs are showing only minimal elavation, however her symtpoms are indicating a MUCH more pronounced issue. She is not eating much, she is drinking water like a fish, peeing like there is no tomorrow and constantly looking for attention.

She's an indoor cat, so has a box. I use scoopable stuff but she's peeing so much that it is not scoopable. However I can not save the cash by going with the cheeper non-scoopables because her outputs are so odorous. I've also had to keep a puppy training pad outside her box because she fills the dang thing up so fast that she then starts peeing outside the box...something she has NEVER done in the past.

Ok, so she's become a giant pain in the arse, but what old lady doesn't, right?

I don't want to put her to sleep because she's a pain in the arse, ya know.

So we've tried a thyroid med, which she did not tolerate. We reduce it, and again she did not tolerate it. The vet doubts it's effectiveness if it's reduced again, and there is no evidence that suggest that a smaller dose would be more tolerable anyway.

Alright, so there is another drug, but it's a temporary thing, and no one really knows how temporary it could be. It doesn't help the thyroid work better, it just helps to reduce the damage to other organs, like those we are seeing with her kidnies. Eventually the thyroid will overpower the drug.

There is one more treatment, which is expensive, and we doubt she'll be able to handle with her age and anxiety level...radioactive iodine. Even if we did this she'd end up on meds again, and sorta in the same boat we are right now. This is basically off the table, anyway. There is no way I'd be able to convince DH to pay for this, and honestly I can't justify it either with a 15yo cat.

Alright, so another option is do nothing...until things get so uncomfortable for her that we make the ultimate decision.

Or we make it, say after the holidays regardless.

And then there is THAT whole delemma...UGH, dealing with the kids. And frankly I'm freaking at the whole idea without even factoring in that.

I just feel like this shouldn't even be MY decision, I don't want it to be, but I don't want her to suffer, and then she IS a giant pain in the arse!

So, I started looking into the whole idea of euthanasia and kids...I feel more comfortable about dealing with the issue with them, after reading a lot of literature. So I think (minus my own emotional response to the loss) that I'm prepared, with one exception, for which my gut (or maybe my fear) tells me one thing but the literature something else...

It basically tells you to be honest. Don't suggest that the cat got out. Don't say something like 'put to sleep' or 'gone to heaven' that we need to be frank...'Munchkin's thyroid stopped working, it wore out' but here's the glitch...

It goes on to suggest that we explain that WE made the decision to euthanize her (in advance of the event) so that she wouldn't be in pain anymore (which technically she isn't, so I think I'd need a better phase)...but besides that, I'm feeling like I shouldn't tell them that I made this decision or that it was (or is being) planned. I feel like Coley would obsess on this, but I'm not sure if it's MY discomfort about the whole 'responsibility' that has me reluctant.

ARRRGGG!

Now or later...and then how to handle it with the kids????? All while NOT feeling comfortable with it...

Right now I'm hating being an adult...I know in the grand scope of things, this isn't big...why does it feel so monumental?

Please help me sort this through...

[callyflower]

Sorry about your kitty. My 16 yo cat did the same thing last year and I decided to have her PTS as she was not a real "touchable" cat so treatment options were not there for us. She also did not "hit the box" but about 25% of the time, if ya know what I mean...sigh.

I told my dd that she (and 2 other pets we've lost in her lifetime) was sick and had to be taken to the vet. The vet then helped her to die, so she'd no longer feel bad, as there was nothing he could do to really make her better. This kind of shoves the whole thing on the vet. You can then have the discussion about "fixable" and "unfixable" stuff.

Good luck,

Cally

[Isabelle]

the vet found that her tyroids are irreversible damaged? there are some homeopathic remedies, hormones supplements, acupuncture for animals, all of them will make her feel better for a while.....sorry to hear the news!

i have 3 cats, the oldest: 18 years (skinny, grouchy, not in great health); the second is 17 (the vet couldn't believe her age it looked like a younger cat) and the third one is 9 (morbidly obese), and now we adopted 2 dogs: a doberman/german sheppard mix, about a year by now and her sidekick and "teacher" a beagle of 5 years.... life is at its fullest! :rolleyes:

oh! i am certified long time ago....

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Thanks ladies!

Cally, that's a great way to explain things, thanks!!!!! I also need to be careful about how I explain Euthanasia (pets only) too...he's still having nightmares about Audrey hurting herself. This is something we will deal with with the psych, but the fact that he is still stressing over it, although it has gotten better (he's not dreaming about her dying, rather that she gets hurt badly and the dreams are much less frequent) I'm just afraid that this could add fuel to a fire still burning, ya know...your suggestion I think would work well!

Isabelle, she's hyperthyroid, so hormone replacements aren't an option...just meds that slow it down...that's the med she didn't tolerate. The way the vet explained it to us, was that her body is working on overdrive, so it wears out quicker...kidney failure and cardiac deterioration are the most common areas that are affected first. Clearly she's showing the signs of stressed kidneys, so..... The other med will reduce this stress, but the question is by how much and for how long...I suppose it's worth a go...but in a way I feel like I'm just torturing her.

The 2 attempts with this other meds only made her horribly uncomfortable, and now her symptoms are MORE pronounced. I'm kinda feeling like, leave her alone and wait for after the holidays...

UGH! This is the first pet I have been responsible for making this decision for. My last cat was 18, and was a family pet that we got when I was 5. I did participate in the euthanasia, knew it was time, all that, but it was my mom's responsibility...I feel like I just sorta agreed, and went to support the cat through it, ya know...

This is really hard!

And then, like we were just discussing last week...when I think about all that she has been through with me...

A horrible 7 year relationship & break-up
purchase of my first very own property
pregnancy, move, engagement, premature birth...OMG! I rushed home after my discharge showered, grabbed stuff so that I could return to the hospital...I found the poor thing was locked in the closet...she had been there with no food, no water, no box (and she didn't mess) all by herself through a blizzard for days....I just held her and whaled...I felt terrible plus all of a sudden realizing that I locked my little baby in the closet and I had a fragile baby in the NICU...I swear I was torn between leaving her everyday after that...for 6 loooooooooong weeks of NICU vigil! I felt so inept, and like I needed to make it up to her...course I NEEDED to be with Coley though...

And then on & on from there...all that we've been through...and Coley just LOVES her!

OY!

[callyflower]

Just tell Coley that the vet will give her a special liquid in her little kitty arm that is only used by veterinarians for the purpose of helping them die. Then there shouldn't be any worry of him thinking ANY medicine may kill you.

Also, I would not recommend he witness the euthanasia. Viewing the body afterward would likely be a good thing if he asks to do so. My daughter always WANTED (and was allowed) to see and participate in the burials.

Thank goodness all my current pets (2 dogs, 3 cats) are young!

[milivica]

Deciding when the balance between quantity and quality of life tips so far so it lacks too much quality, is so personal and so different and difficult for everyone. I wish you my best with this decision. My advice is that the best way to make it, is probably to imagine you were the cat, ask yourself how you would want to be treated. If you were the cat, would you want to live as you are now, would you want to be put to sleep, what would you want if you were her? If you can answer that you'll have your decision.

Hopefully the reality of expense won't enter into it, that's just the worst. As far as inconvenience like all the peeing, like I said, what if you were the cat? If you make a decision based on HER, on what you really believe she would want, you're making the right decision.

When my kids were still very young, though I was generally very open with life, death, and mating/sex, I was not truthful to them about our animals being put down. What I'd do, and this is just a me thing so might not be right for your family, was lay the deceased pet in it's bed looking comfy, and smear glitter glue up the wall like how smoke swirls and tell the kids the sparkles were from the angels wings when they'd come to take the pet to heaven. I didn't want my kids to fear death or see it as ugly or scary. As a kid, I couldn't understand that it wasn't murder to put an animal to sleep and felt no comfort in their 'peace' from being put down, and for some years translated that into what could be done to me if I was in pain (which I usually was - bad GI stuff). For my kids just as birth is, I wanted to make death as unscary and even magical like a birth into heaven - even though it was terribly hurtful to miss a pet you love.

I've always thought death wouldn't be nearly as painful if we could open a window to heaven and see our loved ones happy, see some tangible sign. So, I felt the glitter glue, did that. Tangible proof that our pets were with angels and happy. Honestly, sometimes I'd stroke the glitter glue path and cry, comforted by my own made up story. So, if a pet died (remember we had soooooo many) I'd put sparkles or glitter glue by the pet, Vince or Carmen would spot it and say "Sparkles!!!" so they'd have sort of a gentle heads up that their pet was gone...but not 'dead'...their body's were dead, but not their spirit our soul.

Good luck,
Lisa

[MaryEvelyn]

WOW I like what Milli did.

The first, and only pet so far, that I had to have PTS was a Pug named Bosco, he had Pug Encephalitis. Kyle was there when he was PTS and we both held him. I told him that as the animal was put into our care by God we sometimes have to make the decision about whether to leave them in pain or to help them on to heaven. I also explained how sometimes they do not appear to be in pain but are just confused and frightened. I talked to him about how we are in Gods hands and he makes the decision for us when it is time to go to Heaven. I also told him that we take them to the vet and let the vet make the final decision as they are the Doctors and they know when the time is right. Bosco did not appear to be in pain but he no longer recognized us and would soon be in a lot of pain. Kyle was with him when he went to sleep and was comforted by the peace he saw on Bosco and by the fact that I explained to him the Angles are always waiting when someone dies to carry them up to heaven.

[The Pogue]

Have diabetes been ruled out in addition to the thyroid issue?

I have a diabetic cat, whose symptoms were extreme thirst, heavy urination, and weightloss despite voracious hunger - even bullying my big Chow/Shepard mix away from her food bowl! The vet tested his blood sugar, sure enough, it was very high.

We put kitty on prescription cat food (high protein, high fat, low carb) and I give him insulin shots twice/day. It's a very easy regimen to manage. The diabetes care kit was expensive for an initial purchase, but day-to-day costs are minimal. He's doing very well (despite also being FIV positive - feline AIDS).

I don't have an answer to the thyroid issue, but if there is something else going on in addition, fixing that may make other things fall into place. Best wishes.

[The Pogue]

I just re-read, and decided to share my experiences with euthanasia. I've had two beloved pets euthanized; a cat I brought back to the midwest from Alaska, and the world's sweetest cocker spaniel. Animals have evolved to mask their pain. When they no longer responded to my affection, I knew the pain was to the point where there was little or no quality left to their lives. Then, it was time to end their suffering.

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and ideas!

I haven't got time to respond properly right now...I just got off the phone with the vet and Coley will be home in 15 minutes.

I just need to get this off my chest, ya like it might go away after I type it...I'm on the verge of tears here!

Well, I said I didn't want to make the decision...careful what you ask for girls!

Well, the other med, is so temporary that it will likely only get us a couple months...and get this, it costs $100/mo!

ACK! I'd never get DH to go for that!

The vet is even suggesting that for that money we go for the radioactive iodine...which there is just no way...she's 15, what sense does that make!

Then there is one more procedure that is an old procedure, but one that she thinks could be a good option, the only problem is that she doesn't know if there is anyone willing to do it...

basically, out-patient procedure which injects the thyroid with alcohol, to kill it, but there are possible complications, and then she'd be on hormone replacements, at $30/mo...

I already know what DH is going to say!

Which isn't the bottom line of it, I mean I do have a say, but what the heck leg do I have to stand on? It's all emotional at this point...

I guess we'll be riding out the holidays and then...

Alright, I gotta get myself together...I've got 10 minutes left before Coley gets off the bus...

KJ

[GinaMarie]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kristen}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Kinda knowing how you feel since I just lost my bird two weeks ago after 21 yrs and then I hadn't told anyone on here yet but Friday I gave Grace away. I have cried so much the past few weeks. Im praying for you for peace, comfort and guidance thru this. I have a 14 yr old cat also who is getting up there in age and I dont know how long I have with her either.

HUGS, *hug
GM

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Oh Gina, I'm SO sorry! Why did you give Grace away?



So, Coley came home and I told him I had something VERY important to talk to him about.

I told him that I had spoken to the vet, and that she tried very hard to find another medicine to help Munchkin's thyroid work again, but that she doesn't have anything else that we can give her.

He just gave me a puzzled look, so I said, that means Munchkin is going to get very sick.

He then made a pouty face and went off to play. I was thinking, alright, maybe this won't be so bad...

Then before bed he came over to me on the couch while I was petting her and said: Ohhh, I don't want Munchkin to get sick. Why doesn't the vet have something to help her to not get sick?

I knew I wasn't going to get a better segway than that, so with a deep breath I said, well there is one other thing that the vet can do.

"What?"

"It's called euthansia. It's a special shot, a tool, that Goddy has given to vets to use for animals only. It will help Munchkin go to Goddy to be an angel so that she won't have pain or be sick anymore."

Well, that just started the whole thing

"No I don't want Munchkin to go to Goddy, I will miss her!"

...we were both bawling...he was up until 9:30 asking questions and crying...

At one point he did start asking about his fish...he wants to know when he's going to get them back and asked if Munchkin will come back...

I told him that Goddy gives the VERY best and the most perfect presents, just like when Goddy gave Mommy and Daddy him, and some day Goddy will give us a new pet to take care of, but that it won't be Munchkin. I told him, that Goddy gave Mommy Munchkin to take care of when I needed a buddy, but now we can't take care of her as well as Goddy can. So she needs to be an angel, soon, so that Goddy can help her to feel better, something that we cannot do.

UGH! That was hard.

I was surprised he didn't end up in our bed last night, no nightmares or anything.

Me on the other hand...ugh! :(

btw...I feel the need to explain "Goddy"... I don't use 'baby talk' with Coley, never have (no birdies or whatever-ies either). I don't even really talk with exaggerated tone or anything. Although I do see a difference in his 'response' when I do talk like I work in romper room (does everyone know that show?)...something I've been trying here & there...but it doesn't feel at all comfortable to me! Anyway, back to "Goddy" ... Coley has 16 cousins on DH's side, all nearby and most older than him (oldest 14)... they all use this term, and so now so does Coley :rolleyes: ...it makes me cringe everytime I hear it.

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

While we talked about everything last night, Coley asked if he could see Munchkin go to Goddy...

Now I need to clarify with him a little bit more on whether he meant, could he actually witness her journey, or whether he could be there for/with her.

He knows it's a shot, I told him that it will look as though Munchkin is going to sleep, but she's really going to Goddy. And that nothing else happens.

But he asked again after that explanation if he could see her go to Goddy.

I'm also planning to discuss this with the vet.

I've read a few documents that say it can be done with a child Coley's age, but some others that feel that it's not a good thing.

And then there's my fear about when I went to put my last cat to sleep with my mom, UGH! It was terrible, firstly she didn't really like being touched, so it was just a horrible experience for her, which really upset me knowing that she was having such a terrible 'last moment' ya know...and I think that made it worse for her. But then, OMG! It didn't take, and she actually needed a second shot. It was just terrible...she was a tiny thing too...probably less than 8 pounds, lord only knows what happened there - maybe the tech missed the vein because she was protesting so much! I dunno, I just can't even tell you how much of a goon scene it was...

So I need to find out, providing the vet or a tech is willing to do this with him present, how Munchkin did with her labs as a judge of how bad she may react to a shot. And I need to make sure that there is NO WAY we (me or Coley) will see Munchkin go through what Oreo went through.

So aside from all of that...opinions? thoughts? ideas? suggestions? comments? Please be honest...would you allow this? Or how would you handle it?

Right now we are debating, the first weekend in December versus after the new year. The hard part is all the holidays, then Audrey's b-day is the last week of January, and Coley's is the second week of February ...UGH!

I'll post again after I've spoken to the vet about this.

[Aspigander]

Wow. Sounds like you have a difficult situation on your hands.

Did I read you said earlier in the thread that it is hyperthyroidism? Not hypo, right? I don't know if you do anything with Yahoo Groups, but I read somewhere that there is one called HyperT or Feline HyperT or something like that. I have no experience with that group, don't know how helpful or active they are, but thought I'd throw it out there.

I hate to say this, and I mean no offense, but I'm not so sure you want to put it all on the vet (i.e. vet found something unfixable so recommended euth). I don't think you want to make Coley afraid of vets, or worse, doctors. He has his own fair share of issues, correct? I would be kind of worried the whole thing might make him fear that he might go to the doctor and have the doctor find something "unfixable". Not sure if that would happen or not, but just something I might be concerned about. I mean no offense and am not trying to freak you out.

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Oh, don't worry about offending me...besides nothing you said was offensive anyway...please I wanted your thoughts and I appreciate them all!

So to respond, I've been trying to be VERY careful, I'm afraid too of him misinterpreting things...particularly since he does spend a lot of time at the Drs himself and then of course he's still dealing with a trauma from last December when his baby sister flipped off her changing table and fractured her arm...initially he was having nightmares of her dying, but they have become less frequent and have changed into her just getting hurt bad enough to require an ambulance.

So, I did make sure that I told him that euthenasia was for vets only and to use only on animals. I told him that it was mainly because animals cannot communicate as well as people, so it's difficult to help them until their 'sick' or 'pain' gets very big.

He also understands that Munchkins thyroid (yes it's hyper) is 'broken' and that her body doesn't like the medicine that would make it work again. And that leaving it untreated will wear down her whole body until it's all broken. I explained to him before that the thyroid manages her energy and that right now it's making her body run very very fast, which is wearing everything out (her heart, her brain, her belly, her veins, etc). He understands...luckily this process has been going on since July, so as we went through the steps of it, I was able to explain things slowly to him.

First, she was drinking and peeing alot. I thought it was going to be a UTI...didn't tell him that, but I explained why we needed to get her checked. Her body was telling us that something wasn't right.

Then when we got back: "The doctor took some blood and is going to see if everything is working properly"

Then the next day after the vet phoned with the labs "Munchkin's thyroid is working too fast.... so she needs medicine to make it work at the right speed..."

Then a couple days later the medicine came and then a couple weeks into it, she reacted and back to the vet we went....then we stopped it for a while, then back to the vet for more labs, on & on... So I think he get's the whole idea that it is manageable, but that Munchkin is sorta past help...that the vet tried her best but now we are out of options...which means now she will get more & more sick...or...

When it comes up again I'll make sure he understands that euthanasia is when the vet can't help anymore, and that it is only for animals so that they don't suffer...if she wasn't unwell (and getting worse) then the vet wouldn't make this decision.

I guess there is a step here that's missing...UGH! I'll need to think about how to phrase this with him...clearly we could just not bring her in for this, he'll figure that out...he needs to know that we have chosen to do this because we don't want Munchkin to get very sick and be in pain. So yikes, I can't leave it all on the vet. Well I guess that went out the window as soon as I told him what euthanasia was...he'll put it all together.

[mrsdoubtfyre]

It is very painful. The vet we use will not let the owner be present when
they put the animal down.

The last cat I did (my husband took two of them over time)...had cancer.

I wanted to be there. But he said that animals sometimes seize, and they lose control of their sphincters, and it can be very unpleasant to have those images in your memory as the last ones of your dear pet friend.

So we buried them in a special part of our garden, which has just flourished over the past 20 yrs with ivy and spring bulbs and lily of the valley.
I have two cat statues there too, marking the area. We took an old pillowcase with us and brought our cats home that way and buried them in that for a shroud.

I do think handling the death of a pet is important for kids. They have to learn someday, somehow. But watching the procedure? I just would and could not do it.

Here is a picture of our cat memorial place:

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

I talked to the vet yeasterday afternoon. I told her that we had pretty much made the decision that we would be euthanizing Munchkin. She was actually really nice, I thought she'd try to push the radioactive iodine more, but she didn't.

We talked about timing. Without doing labs, based on her behavior, the vet thinks that Munchkins heart is beginning to be affected more severely. She did hear a murmur in her physical, but further testing wasn't done because everything pointed to the thyroid, and generally managing the thyroid will 'correct' the cardiac issues. The plan was to get her thyroid well, then recheck her kidneys & heart functions to make sure that they infact 'corrected'...

So, she feels that now with her current, 'pain-in-the-arse' personality and all that goes along with it, that her heart is getting worse. She's likely hyper & anxious. So we need to make the decision, now, before things get really bad for her...or we treat her heart and do it a little later.

DH & I decided that we will give her the heart medicine to give us one more holiday with her. :(

I also spoke to the vet about the process of euthanasia and the idea of Coley being there. I told her about my experience in the past and my fears for Coley, etc.

Get this...

This is her normal process...and mind you this is the same place that euthanized Oreo...course that was 20 years ago...

She will take Munchkin to the lab and place a cath. This way insuring that she's got a good vein and that we don't have to see her getting 'stuck.'

She also gives a mild sedative at times, Munchkin due to her anxiety will get one. She did mention the gasping for air thing, which is a reflex not a struggle, but can be upsetting to see. And she mentioned the 'twitching' that can occur for the same reasons. She said the mild sedative should reduce the chances of either happening.

Coley & I can hold her, while the serum is injected into the cath, letting her 'go to sleep' in our arms, very peacefully.

Then they have a greiving room with a bathroom and a couch that me & Coley can sit in until we are ok.

She was not at all opposed to the idea of Coley being there. And I felt like they have gone a long way to offer this ability for children. I was completley amazed...and felt a ton of weight lifted off my shoulders.

I still need to talk to him more to make sure this is what he really wants...plus I still would like to get all your feed back...particularly knowing the 'set-up'...does that change your minds (for those of you who didn't like the idea)...is this a similar to your experience (for those of you are ok with it)?

Thanks for all your thoughts!!!!!

[mrsdoubtfyre]

This is really true. My friend's cat had a hyperthyroid thing, and had the radioactive iodine, but the kittie's heart gave out soon after. It cost a huge amount of $$ for the tests and treatments. And the kittie didn't live much longer anyway.

Our cat that I took in, had hyperthyroidism and surgery for it. They asked if I wanted a biopsy and I declined. (the surgery was really expensive back then, more than a weeks pay!) Turned out it was cancer after all, and it spread to her lungs, and nothing could be done. We were advised to just keep her comfortable but she became very thin and weak, and then I just knew.
She was purring when I took her in...the vet said heavy purring can mean pain for cats. So I didn't watch..he was against it. And I was crying anyway.
It was terribly painful for me, I can still cry about it if I let the memories come back. Putting a pet to sleep is really hard. We've done 3 over the years, and now our oldest is 21 and getting very old. The vet heard a murmur and thinks our kittie has cardiomyopathy. So every day seems like the last to us!

I hope the passing goes easily for you and your family.

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

That's pretty much what a friend of mine told me too. She basically explained that the thyroid working irregularly can really 'beat-up' the body, and we aren't really sure how long Munchkin's thyroid has been hyperactive. Particularly with my focus so narrow over the last couple years.

I've said before that I often felt bad that she was so neglected, that I really didn't know what was a worse fate, giving her up or keeping her. I suppose like most pets she is forgiving, but it doesn't make me feel much better about the likely discomfort she's been in all this while.

Anyhoo, so my friend told me that she's seen many cases where the surgery didn't go well, and the expense was realized at great loss, and then many cases where surgery went well, but too much damage was done...the 2 big examples she gave were exactly the ones you mentioned MrsD...the big C and damage to the heart. Generally the kidneys will revive. It's very common I guess.

So that pretty much sealed it...I mean how in the world could I even entertain the surgery...any hopes of convincing DH to shell out that cash...well it's just irresponsible really.

I am very sad, I will miss her a lot. But I will be glad to hold her while she goes. Whether or not Coley is there. I'm still on the fence about it, but am very glad that their set up has changed to allow this option. Now we can consider just Coley and the reality, not anything else, ya know.

I think this could be a hard thing for him, but it's going to be hard either way. Could this help in some way...I know I'll feel better knowing Munchkin had love right up to the last second. Does Coley feel this way too? I also know that 'seeing' is believing and sometimes that can help too. But it is hard, is it too much for a 5 almost 6 year old? Would I really be saving him pain...sure the real images, but surely his imagination will conjur up some too...would they be worse?

That's pretty much where I'm at. I sure would love to hear Keggy's take on this too...

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Just wanted to give you guys a little update...

Munchkin's been taking the heart meds...she hates it, and put's up a good stink each time...I've never seen a cat try to spit something out before...pretty funny!

Anyway, she's doing much better on it...not so much of a noodge...she's much calmer and we are all able to give her affection much easier. She's also eating better and drinking less.

Coley has made a couple comments here & there about, "when Munchkin goes to live with Goddy..." and telling people she's "going to live with Goddy after Christmas..." His head goes low, but I think he's processing it well.

I think I'm going to need to refill her prescription just before Christmas...I think...if I need to do that it'll be another 30 day supply...if she continues to do well...I know it'll be hard for me to pick a day...but the longer I wait after Christmas the closer we get to Audrey's and then Coley's B-day...

So, that's about where we are...I'm really glad that we are getting one more holiday with her! We put up a stocking for her, and I bought some stuffers for her as well...no toys though, just treats...cleaning out her stuff is gonna $UCK!

Thanks again girls for helping me think all this through!

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Ok, so today is the day!

She did so well on the cardiac meds over the holidays that we refilled it in hopes that we might get a few more months...

Saddly it only gave us a couple weeks. :(

I tried denying that and changed her dose timing thinking that would help...it didn't!

Finally, all those symptoms came back full force...she's drinking excessively, peeing all over the place and just an overall nudge!

I haven't even told Coley yet. But we have talked about him being there...it's clear he DOES want to.

UGH!

So I had to finally break down & call the vet to make the appointment. I was hoping for next week or whatever, but between our schedules & hers tonight was the only thing that worked. We could have had a different vet, but DH felt with everything that's gone on, and all that she knows about us, it's best that she take care of all the details...

He's right of course, but BLAM! Here's the day.

I've got just over 5 hours left with her, and I feel so terrible...I don't want to be 'too' upset in front of the kids...so it's just easier to not give her any attention, for which I'm now feeling guilty...

Dagnabit! This sux! I gotta just hold my breath and do this!

[RathyKay]

(((Hugs))) I hope things go as well as they can. It's tough to lose a pet.:(

[Aspigander]

Sorry to hear that things have come to a head, and a little bit suddenly it seems (I know it was the expected outcome, but it sounds like it may have come on more quickly than perhaps you had expected).

If you'd rather not answer, that's fine...but may I ask how it went? Mainly how Coley did?

[Mother's Heart]

(((Kristen))))

[Kristen (ColeysMom)]

Thanks Aspigander! And Kathy!!! And MH!!!

I've actually been wanting to talk about it, but feel kinda funny about that.

I miss her, and keep thinking I see her in the corner of my eye, but oh, that's just one of Coley's toys, or something else, ya know...one time I thought I heard her meow...she used to do that when you'd walk into a room she was in, like "Hi"...so it's a bummer to realize, DANG, that's not her!

Anyway, Coley did pretty good. I think there was a lot of nervous energy where he was bouncing off the walls before it all happened...and after he was sad...we had her cremated too (CHA-CHING!), we talked to Coley about it and this spring he wants to plant her a memorial tree and bury her near it. I'd like that too.

We took lots of pics with the kids & her last week too. My mom called and reminded me of somehting that made me smile...

When Coley was home shortly after the NICU, mom & dad came up to visit. DH & I went out, for something, an errand of some type while mom & dad watched Coley...well Munchkin apparently wasn't comfortable with mom & dad's ability to watch Coley and paced around him and stood by monitoring their sitting skills the whole time. Mom said she felt like she was being 'observed & cratiqued' the entire time!

She was such a little mom...she'd do the same thing for me, sorta too...like if I was doing stuff while he napped, Munchkin would stand 'guard' over him, and as soon as he started to wake, she'd let me know...who needs a monitor???

She was a great cat!!!

Right after the euthanasia Coley cried, and was pretty quiet and sad when we got home. The next couple of days he brought her up a lot, reminded Audrey she was gone, and announced a few times that he missed her more and more as time went by. :(

That was hard on SO many levels!

He's doing better now. DH brought home a developed roll of film and Coley looked at them and smiled. You could see he was thinking nice thoughts...that felt good!

I have a little picture in a tiny frame of my Oreo-kitty the one I put down in college - the one I mentioned was a horror show. I told Coley that I keep that picture in my dresser, and every now & again when I stumble onto it at the back or bottom of my drawer that it's nice to just remember how special she was to me, especially when I was little. So he asked if we could do the same for Munchkin for him...we have some great pics to choose from. Maybe I'll post one so you can see how dang cute she was too!

Ok, I'm starting to get wishy, so I'm gonna stop.

Thanks again for asking!

[Isabelle]

(((((((((hugs)))))))) i understand, we went through so many deaths of our dear pets, we spilled so many tears could make an ocean.....((((((hugs))))))))