Aspigander
10-27-2008, 05:44 AM
Hello everybody. I am a Michigander who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (hence the username of Aspigander) almost nine months ago. I was 24 then, 25 now. While the diagnosis was kind of a relief, I'm finding it kind of difficult to figure out how to cope in a world where you are expected to be neurotypical. Particularly, I'm finding things difficult with my NT mother, who (understandably) is long since tired of all of my idiosyncrasies.
My mom had wondered off and on throughout my life if I might have some form of autism, however the diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome wasn't widely known back then, and I had a couple other disabilities that might make the AS difficult to diagnose (and from what I've gathered it is often originally misdiagnosed as something like ADHD, which is one of four diagnoses that I had been given as a child). I have a visual impairment, which means that non-verbal cues can be missed, so it was very easy to attribute that to the VI. I also was born with some facial/oral defects, which means I had a delay in learning to talk. and learning to talk is not associated with AS. From talking to my mom though, it appears that it was not my brain that had the problem learning to talk -- it was purely difficulty in forming the right sounds that needed to be formed to actually make the word I *thought* I was saying. So any delay in learning to talk seemed to be related to the oral anatomical issues.
My mom works at the elementary school that I attended, and when I was 19, she attended a workshop on autism, came home, summoned me, and said (it could have happened yesterday I remember it so well): "I think you have Asperger's disease." We have, of course, both since learned that it is more accurately termed a syndrome rather than a disease.
I poured myself into researching AS online, and sure enough, it seemed to fit. In fact, it seemed to fit very well. Meanwhile, my mom looked for professionals that were experienced with the autism spectrum, but there was a problem. Autistic disorders are a pediatric diagnosis, and I was 19 at the time and thus an adult. I asked the psychiatrist I was seeing at the time, but again, it's a pediatric diagnosis and he was not a pediatric psychiatrist, so he couldn't say either way. I imagine he might have entertained an investigation if he also worked in pediatrics, but he only worked in adult psychiatry, so was not comfortable saying either way. Finally I kind of gave up looking into it online, since no professional would look into it, even if I had it I figured I was just too old to be diagnosed. I was still in high school, and, since I was in the special education system, I asked the SE department to look into it. Of course, I already qualified for disability services, so why add another disability? The school social worker did look through my file, going all the way back to preschool, to see if he could find anything that might have indicated that an investigation might be warranted, but could find nothing and could do nothing more. So I just kind of gave up on that idea.
I had stopped going to mental health professionals soon after. Not that they really helped me much throughout my life. However in early 2008 it was very apparent that things just aren't working. So, with reluctance (after all it hasn't been helpful thus far), I looked online for a psychologist and found one that I liked the profile of right away. I asked my mom to go to my first appointment with me which she did. I also took a list of I think about 19 items of issues. She looked at the list. She asked me some questions. She asked my mom some questions. Then she said:
"I'm wondering, after looking at this list and from what you and your mom have told me, has anybody ever mentioned the possibility that you have Asperger's Syndrome?"
My mom and I just looked at each other and kind of chuckled. We then explained the issues we had when we'd first suspected it. I wish I'd have found her five years ago, because it didn't make sense to her that no one would look into it. After all, she said, it doesn't go away when you turn 18.
Anyway, I do realize that this forum has an Asperger's Syndrome section, but the Autism section looks like it might be a little bit more active, and since it is classified as an autistic spectrum disorder (though, according to my psychologist, some professionals struggle with that), I figured my posting here might not be too far off base.
My mom had wondered off and on throughout my life if I might have some form of autism, however the diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome wasn't widely known back then, and I had a couple other disabilities that might make the AS difficult to diagnose (and from what I've gathered it is often originally misdiagnosed as something like ADHD, which is one of four diagnoses that I had been given as a child). I have a visual impairment, which means that non-verbal cues can be missed, so it was very easy to attribute that to the VI. I also was born with some facial/oral defects, which means I had a delay in learning to talk. and learning to talk is not associated with AS. From talking to my mom though, it appears that it was not my brain that had the problem learning to talk -- it was purely difficulty in forming the right sounds that needed to be formed to actually make the word I *thought* I was saying. So any delay in learning to talk seemed to be related to the oral anatomical issues.
My mom works at the elementary school that I attended, and when I was 19, she attended a workshop on autism, came home, summoned me, and said (it could have happened yesterday I remember it so well): "I think you have Asperger's disease." We have, of course, both since learned that it is more accurately termed a syndrome rather than a disease.
I poured myself into researching AS online, and sure enough, it seemed to fit. In fact, it seemed to fit very well. Meanwhile, my mom looked for professionals that were experienced with the autism spectrum, but there was a problem. Autistic disorders are a pediatric diagnosis, and I was 19 at the time and thus an adult. I asked the psychiatrist I was seeing at the time, but again, it's a pediatric diagnosis and he was not a pediatric psychiatrist, so he couldn't say either way. I imagine he might have entertained an investigation if he also worked in pediatrics, but he only worked in adult psychiatry, so was not comfortable saying either way. Finally I kind of gave up looking into it online, since no professional would look into it, even if I had it I figured I was just too old to be diagnosed. I was still in high school, and, since I was in the special education system, I asked the SE department to look into it. Of course, I already qualified for disability services, so why add another disability? The school social worker did look through my file, going all the way back to preschool, to see if he could find anything that might have indicated that an investigation might be warranted, but could find nothing and could do nothing more. So I just kind of gave up on that idea.
I had stopped going to mental health professionals soon after. Not that they really helped me much throughout my life. However in early 2008 it was very apparent that things just aren't working. So, with reluctance (after all it hasn't been helpful thus far), I looked online for a psychologist and found one that I liked the profile of right away. I asked my mom to go to my first appointment with me which she did. I also took a list of I think about 19 items of issues. She looked at the list. She asked me some questions. She asked my mom some questions. Then she said:
"I'm wondering, after looking at this list and from what you and your mom have told me, has anybody ever mentioned the possibility that you have Asperger's Syndrome?"
My mom and I just looked at each other and kind of chuckled. We then explained the issues we had when we'd first suspected it. I wish I'd have found her five years ago, because it didn't make sense to her that no one would look into it. After all, she said, it doesn't go away when you turn 18.
Anyway, I do realize that this forum has an Asperger's Syndrome section, but the Autism section looks like it might be a little bit more active, and since it is classified as an autistic spectrum disorder (though, according to my psychologist, some professionals struggle with that), I figured my posting here might not be too far off base.