How do you start a relashonship after abuse without being in fear

[Kashis]

someone asked me how do I start a relashonship after abuse when I feel like an abuse magnet how do I move on without being in fear of ending up with another abuser anyone who has moved on and got into a new relashonship anyone who can answer this question I need your help as I am not sure how to answer this one I am going to do reasearch but for now posted here to see if anyone has answers on how to move on Krissi

[tic chick]

krissi,

i think this person has to find out why she took the abuse in the first place. does she have self-esteem issues? unresolved issues from childhood, like was she abused as a child?

you always repeat relationships until you learn why you are drawn to the same type of person.

i really think she would benefit from counseling and not getting into any relationships for awhile until she figures out the reasons she chose the wrong person.

(((hugs))) krissi, for helping others,
jeannie

[Kashis]

The self esteem is the first thing I nailed on this question and also told her to focus on her rather then a relashonship for now and talk to friends of a person if she chooses a relashonship find out about past girls etc and now there is also away in most states to run free backround check to see if people were charged I know wi and mn do and also No Carolina so I am sure most have this so I am going to let her know this too but if anyone else has moved on and what they went through can offer things to it be great

Thanks again Jeannie I knew if I posted I could help this girl get answers and you hit it on the head the same things I told her so I am on the right track I am going to do a internet research on this as soon as the dang migraines passes I am trying so hard not to go to the er but its beginning to get harder and harder 2 days in a dark room sleeping is starting to depress me terribly as one can only be in the dark for so long before depression kicks in as there is nothing more I can do for this so as soon as I get more information I will post it as always Krissi

[Kashis]

I have decided to do a favor to all who are afraid to date due to abuse I am going to try to go into public records for whatever state and look up the person at least to see if they have any charges of assult of any kind I will do this free of charge for anyone who was abused and wants to start new and is afraid all you have to do is pm me with a name of the person and the state and I will see what kind of results I can find

since there is no dometic violence list this is the best I can do to help so people can move on once again so please pm me if your interested Krissi