Running away & Possible Aspergers?

[Heather]

Hello everyone,
I usually post on CN about our 3 yr old with severe disabilities. Now, I am concerned enough about his 4 yr old sister to need suggestions.
Ariana is in her second year at a special preschool, which provides extra security and therapies for sensory integration and psychological counseling. In the beginning, she barely qualified for this restrictive preschool, based on 2 points of deviation in Social Adjustment. We are still in a diagnostic limbo, with possible ADHD and RAD. She is high functioning and physically strong. However, Ariana seems to be subtly sliding down the developmental curve, as time goes on, in critical ways.
SHE HAS NO FEAR!!!
This used to manifest as breaking and running off to chase after anyone or anything that caught her attention. We spent all of our time in public chasing after her. She would sometimes even scream and act like WE were the abducting strangers when we tried to peel her off strangers legs!
Since she was only 14 months old when we got her and never formed a normal bond with her birth mother, we tried to trust that she would outgrow the running. We practically lived in lock down and outings were difficult.
Ariana has been getting stranger awareness training at school. Our bonding seemingly grew and her urge to bolt, while with us, ended. She still needs more supervision than typical, for a 4 year old and pretty much demands line of sight, or at least sound, awareness.
Now, we have a terrible new developement. Ariana is sneaking out at night, in the dark! She is stealthier and even quicker than she used to be during the daylight too. She has been picked up 3 times down the street.
I'm a light sleeper. She's not neglected.
Help

[peglem]

I see 2 problems here-1.) She's not sleeping well. Most of us here have dealt with that problem at one time or another. 2.) She's leaving the house at night. I give my child melatonin every night to get her to sleep. It doesn't seem to work for everyone, but it has been a Godsend for us. Then, way up at the top of the door, we installed this locky thing- I'm not sure what its called, but it is a small metal plate on a hinge that swings into place to block the door from opening. I tried to find you a picture from Home Depot, but couldn't find one. So far my daughter has not been able to reach it to get it open. She doesn't run out at night (so far), but somebody left the lock open a few days ago and the neighbor from across the street came to let me know she was in their house dancing under a ceiling fan. At least she had her clothes on!

[milivica]

She's not neglected.

I'm sure that's an UNDERstatement. Although parents/neighbors whose children don't have these types of behaviors love to judge what they think YOU aren't doing...seems 'can I help' is never in their vocabulary.

My first idea might sound far fetched, but I'd have a sleep study done...I did so on my son. Go to a pediatric neurologist, hopefully one another parent can recommend. It took some arguing and 'inconclusive' testing, but finally I got the 24 hour sleep study. This was to try and figure out what all the waking up was about, to rule out Landau Kleffner (seizures) in his sleep. Which it did...but some parents discover that's the reason for their child's waking.

My son did eventually get meds that helped with his behavior/aggression, and the side effect of that was him finally sleeping. I would think though, that getting a good night's sleep alone would be part of the reason for his improved behavior, not the meds.

Until then, you'll have to secure either your house, or the door/window to her room for safety and sanity sake. There was a point where I did lock my son's door, it was a terrible decision...looking back though I'm glad I did considering what could have happened if I hadn't. In his room I had snacks, water, a fire/smoke detector, and put the seat from our potty onto a bucket from home depot in case he had to go, and, a security camera for me to see/hear him and him to see/hear us (we sleep in the basement, the kids got the bedrooms).

Good luck with all of this! I can only tell you our experiences, not saying what you should do, only you are the best judge of that.

Welcome, come back soon,
Mili

[DoIhaveto?]

My autistic son runs away a lot! He has somewhat of an obcession with doors. He's been down into the road a number of times, which totally freaks me out. I felt like I couldn't shower and I didn't want to switch him out of a crib until I had a real solution.
We have tried a number of things, from using a safety gate on the front door, till we could finally change the deadbolt to key entry only. I feel like a warden in my own home, but better that than a dead or missing child. One thing that has helped him be a little more intependant about knowing where his boundaries are, is he understands what a stop sign means. We put a small laminated stop sign on the inside front door, and they use one at school as well. Anytime he walks to the door, he says "stop" and then goes to find something else to do.

You must find a solution that fits your needs! I can't stress how important it is, and you need your sleep! Once you find a way to corral your child, then I would deffinitely look into the sleeping problem.
Good luck.

[Heather]

Thanks for the tips everyone. I told DH to bring home a new lock tonight.
It's not a case of Ariana waking up in the middle of the night though. KNOCK
ON WOOD! She has been sneaking out in the evening and very early this morning. Once she is tucked in for the night, she sleeps well. That wasn't always the case. When she first came to us she had sleep disturbances and wandered at night, so we had to lock her in her room until she turned 3.
Mili, You are so right about attitudes. I usually get the evil eye instead of sympathy.
Ariana has other differences that used to seem less pronounced, even though they're not an emergency. She fixates on things and will even shop lift, if we aren't careful. We try to avoid shopping with her because it's just too difficult and distracting.
She does hand flapping a lot, especially when she's over or under stimulated. Mostly, she disguises the flapping as pretend flying now, I think because she's picked up on reactions to her aimless flapping. I don't know what's sensory or OCD, posturing, or what. She has always moved both hands together whenever she does anything requiring quick effort, like brushing her teeth, sweeping, spraying etc. She clings too tightly and tugs hard when holding hands on walks. She also can't keep a regular pace. She will run, then stop and run, then stop, weaving and darting between people. It's exhausting, trying not to crash into, or be tripped by her, but she seems exhausted and whines when she's not speeding around like a Tasmanian devil.
Ariana TALKS non stop, usually about nonsense. She has obsessive topics like dinosaurs that she endlessly babbles about, wherever we go. She's in a world of her own, in a sense, oblivious to whethor adults are exchanging important information, or I'm trying to concentrate on driving, or whatever. Yet, she's also very demanding that the responses are what she wants to hear. Ariana is also an obsessive little graffiti artist. At 2 it was upsetting but cute when she drew on walls and funrniture. Now, that she's going on 5 next April, it's much more annoying. She draws pretty obsessively and goes through tons of paper and crayons, but she prefers pens and we can't keep them away from her, no matter how we try and she'll draw on anything, including herself.
One more odd behavior of hers is HOARDING. She takes all manner of things and squirrels them away in her favorite hiding places, under her bed and under the dining table, which has an elongated, raised base. She destroys what she takes sometimes.
If Ariana is Autistic it's not the typical type. What do parents here think?
Heather

[peglem]

What is her history w/ strep infections? The reason I'm wondering is because you mentioned some obsessive behaviors. Strep can sometimes cause an autoimmune reaction that results in OCD and movement disorders. Its called PANDAS, which stands for pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with strep. How does she act when she's sick? Does she get lethargic and slow down, like most people, or does it make her hyper, like my kid?

[cckids]

I have to admit that 7 years ago, I met my hjusbands nephew Mikey and they all told me he was autistic. I wanted to argue...the kid talks (and swears) even though it doesn't make sense sometimes and he's repetative abotu all disney....he also touches and hugs everyone. This completely violated my impression of autism...

What I've learned in the last 7 years...my brother's not wierd, stupid, or trying to commit crimes...he's HFA (high functioning autistic)...so is my oldest son (well asperger's)....so is my brother's son who we adopted. two of my cousin's are diagnosed with Asperger's.

I read a book recently about high funtioning autism that tried to describe the differences and similarities from asperger's and all the other stuff that just comes along with it. The mood swings, the poor sleep, the ADD behaviors, the OCD behaviors can all pretty much be covered in the Autism label....most good providers do not just look for "typical" autism anymore and do recognize that autism is a spectrum of variations.

[Heather]

Thanks Peg?
Ariana IS sick now. She came down with a sudden fever yesterday. Yes. she usually does get letahrgic, at least when she has a high fever. It's sadly ironic to enjoy the break! It makes me think a viral prodromal effect could have made her behavior worse in recent days.
Anna, Im going to get that book on high functioning Autism. I think it may run in my family too. My designing engineer father has always marched to beat of a different drummer. He has always been terminally late for everything. I also have a nephew who seems to be borderline AS and my oldest son (Ariana's birth father) has certain tendancies, including social awkwardness and "tardiness" with obsessive artistic abilities.
Another trait of Ariana's is difficulty with transistions. She needs "transitional objects', kind of like Steve Martin in "The Jerk". Getting her to leave anywhere causes her to grab everything in sight, until her arms are full, if you let her. I try to bargain her down to 2 objects max. I usually have to dress her, because asking her to get herself ready to go anywhere throws her into a panic.
Ariana is still relatively subtle though. I've been around kids diagnosed "on the spectrum". They all threw more dramatic fits, with frequent meltdowns. Most of the time, simple strategies do work with Ariana, it's just exhausting always needing to implement them and explain them to people who don't get it, whatever IT is!
We have an annual appointment with her Psychiatrist next week. Ariana sees a psychologist regularly, at her preschool, who made the referal. Maybe we'll get some diagnostics, if not a diagnosis.:confused:

[Heather]

Oh yes, Anna.
Ariana touches and hugs. It was another of our earliest concerns, right after the running/wandering. Not only did Ariana have no fear of strange Adults, she would get right into their space and hug them, until we got the school to work with us on that. Untrained people rarely would get that it was a problem. Even our current social worker, who Ariana didn't want to let go of, when she first met her, thought it was simply endearing. I tried to point that out and she dismissed it with, "Oh, that's ok. My son's the same way."!
Ariana likes other kids, but doesn't sense their boundaries. On a playground she associates with the rowdiest child and often can't find a playmate who tolerates her intrusive energy, so she chases around whoever she fixates on. It's heartbreaking, actually. I feel sorry for her when little girls act appalled and Ariana doesn't pick up on their vibes. Sometimes a devious, bullying type will order Ariana around and she'll blithely follow along. Other times, Ariana will completely ignore/avoid me and vie for the attentions of another parent, even to the point of pushing their own child away from them!
We get enough avoidance, because of Aidan's obvious disabilities and feeding tube. People avoid us like the plague. It's almost comical. Someone should secretly film us at the park. We could make a documentary about disability phobia, with us following children and their parents around the playground, from one area to another. After we arrive, everyone quickly moves away, soon inventing reasons to leave the park.:(

[cckids]

Both of our boys do it. The oldest drives me nuts because he's more like the affectionate touch type. It's just getting creepy with him sometimes. The younger is now using touch ALONG with words to talk to someone or inititate converstation. I'm just excited that the words are coming along with it because in the past he initiated all interactions with physical contact (and not very nicely)...