Do you tell people you have BP?

[Pamster]

Just curious as to whether others here share that info with people or not. I don't mean totla strangers of course, but I mean does it matter to you if people you hang around know or do you call it something else like manic depression or just depression? :(

I find myself feeling ashamed of the BP II dx and I don't know how to approach it sometimes. I know family should know and they do know, but like friends? Should they know? I think I remember a topic like this before BT went down so forgive me for reporting something that was already discussed, probably into the gorund since this is kind of a touchy subject. :confused:

BYW I am feeling good these days, it's just this has been on my mind lately. Should we worry about talking about it like say I see a pain management doc, should I always feel like I wear a badge of shame because of the BP II dx every time I go in there? Because I do a lot of the time, I feel like they are expecting me to be all depressed and I am not most of the time. But when I am oh boy is it hard to cope with. :o

[Pamster]

Hi Tracie,

Thanks so much for your reply, it made me feel better to read how you've accepted the dx yourself. I am familiar with lamictal because my son has seizures too and has been taking it for over three years. It's helped control his petite mall or absence seizures and you're so right, so many people do not understand the different types of seizures that there are. Even I don't grasp all the different potential dx's of types of sezures.

As for the BP, I know some folks here take Lamictal for BP and I think my son himself has mild BP because he can go from hapy to crying-though he is autistic too I don't think it's related to the autism-and I think the lamictal helps him with his moods. I take abilify as he does too but his is a much lower dose then mine. I have finally found my middle with the help of Abilify, and I know just what you mean by that comment about the great support of people on this site. I am new to this forum, but not to BT, I have been coming for the autism forum for over 6 years and I love this place.

Thanks again so much for your reply, I do feel a twinge of shame when I mention my BP II to the pain management doctor I see, but it's only because I am afraid of being stereotyped by them and getting treated differently because I have BP II. I feel when I tell people I'm interacting with that I have BP II I am trying to educate them about it, just like I do if I talk about my son's multiple dx's.

I mean like the medical transport drivers we have for two hour long drives to my son's specialists or the aides who come out to help me with him. It's funny how I feel more uncomfortable talking about it with my doctors then I do other people. Go figure.

[Me BP?]

Hi Pam,

Not sure about this. I just was diagnosed and I haven't told a single person. My family is not around so I don't have them. But friends, coworkers, my boss..haven't said a word. I'm afraid and even more I'm afraid they will treat me differently.

I know I'm all over the place with this but I guess the answer is no and why? I have no idea.

[Pamster]

Yeah I don't have many real life friends so telling online friends didn't bother me too much because they probably knew it was coming because of how I acted, you know? Depressed one week and then high on cloud nine the next. I don't think when I told them that anyone was surprised. I think I would have more problems telling co workers and friends IRL then the people I chat with online.

You're not all over the place though BJ so don't feel like you are from what you posted. It's ok to share what frightens you about it, I think I totally understand, I am on disability so I don't have to work thank God, because I know I would NOT tell an employer or co-workers because it's really none of their business. Don't feel like that is wrong or decceitful because I don't think they would be very open about a dx of BP or even anxiety/depression if they had it. I mean can you imagine an employer telling us their dx's? I can't. :p

[Me BP?]

Thanks Pam for reassuring me that it's not wrong to hide it from people. I'm so afraid of how I'll be treated. I want to be treated the same, no different from anyone else.

You're not all over the place though BJ

You have no idea how many times I wrote this over. :D

[Pamster]

I am glad it made you feel better, I know if I was working, seriously I would NOT divuldge it because I know people definitely hold stereo types for what they envision a dx of BP meaning. I should have clarified when I originally posted the thread, but since I don't work it wasn't on my mind, well it was but I kind of assumed it was a situation where most of us would not volunteer info like that to co-workers and employers.

Maybe I am wrong, but that is what I think most of us feel, that to volunteer the dx like that leads to trauma for us and discrimination in the workplace which we do not need. I know it's different with family and friends, but even they might have stereo types in mind that we would have to work against and educate them about BP, which after you just get a dx on you need to first educate yourself which is tramuatic enough. Or at least it was for me.

[bizi]

I would not tell anyone at work for the above stated reasons.
This is confidential information with only those with a need to know. like your boss only if you get sick and need to be hospitalized or if it is effecting your work performance.
I am in the health care system and tell no one of my bipolar because I am well regulated with meds and am not sick...I also work alone at this time going into private facilities. Yes everyone has a preconcieved notion about mental illness. If you feel the need to tell someone you can jsut say that you are anxioius or depressed or have panic attacks or night terrors or what other symptoms that you may want to share. This is usally information given to get support. You may not want to be getting support at work...only if you need to.
that is my opinion....
bizi

[AncientWolf]

I usually don't actually. I have run into a lot of misconceptions about bipolar or mental illness in general. Some people listen, but too many kept their misconceptions.

I think also I see it as rather personal. It's something my closest loved ones know and support me in, but in public I am good at smiling. This is a personal view and of course some people will feel differently and that's totally cool.

Peace,

Daniel

[martians8mybrian]

i rarely tell people. Don't see the need. I don't tell people I have fibromyalgia and i don't tell people that either.

I have a medical condition. That's it.

There is plenty of ignorance and stigma out there.... I would pick my opportunities to challenge it very carefully.

The best weapon against it is success. It won't matter a hill of pig poo if my aunt peggy knows.

who to tell..what to say... all those things are normal questions when someone is newly dx'd. i did it too.

and... if you think you should tell someone, you can spend time thinking about that...you can always tell someone tomorrow, but you can't ever un-tell them.

[Pamster]

I am glad that I am not the only one who thinks you should be wary of who you tell. I know that I only tell someone who I think can be understanding, usually because its come up and they mention a family member or another friend with BP that I will say I have BP II and I really don't mind discussing things with you guys here on the forum. But in person it's harder to discuss some things about having BP. I am really grateful for the forum here and for being able to share my bad days along with my good days with people who understand.

[vette]

I have to say, i agree with the camp of "be careful who you tell" on an intellectual level, just wish i could stick with that idea! i remember showing my mum the letter from Psych in Scotland... Her response was "just shows he knows NOTHING about you, there's NOWT wrong with you, you're just a DRAMA-QUEEN!!!" I then decided i would NOT tell ANY of the rest of my family! :-(

i sort of swing between "heads" ... sometimes I feel i'm "the advocate & educator" and feel as though i have to tell the WORLD, and dispell all the stigma & preconceptions about mental health issues... Then i decide i want to be "mrs normal" and not tell anyone. Though, i tend to tell too many people for my own good! Strange, now i think about it, i've hardly told ANY close friends, though, mostly strangers or "new" friends!

When i DO tell folks, i always add that i'm "well medicated" though!

My last psych before i moved from Scotland back to England dx'd me BiPolar 1 & Borderline Personality Disorder, then when i moved, my new psych (Dr-I-Don't-Like-To-Dx) said i'm Recurrent Depressive Disorder. Who knows!!!

Oh, dear!... i DO need to learn to stop waffling! Soooooooorrrrryyyyyy :-/

Be well,

'Vette x

[Pamster]

Hi Vette,

THanks for the reply, I definitely understand the waffling between thoughts of "Educating the public" and "It's none of their business" for lack of another way to put it. I am lucky my mother is supportive of me and understood when I got the DX that it wasn't something to be ashamed of once under control it was just another DX is all, since I have chronic pain on top of being an amputee, having had the DX before of depression/anxiety/panic disorder we were all somewhat prepared for a BP II DX.

Nice to make your acquaintance, and I am sorry that your mom and the rest of your family can't be more understanding, it's NOT something we can control on our own without medication. At least I couldn't...And I doubt that anyone else with a BP or BP II DX can control it without the help of medicine. I've been stable for a couple of years now with only a few episodes of mania, nothing really earthshattering or anything thank goodness. :)

[CODDLING REQUIRED]

I was diagnosed only a year and a half ago.At first I told a few people and what I found was that the first time we had a disagreement, that was the first thing they used against me.I suggest that you keep it to your self.Only in a case where it is relevant should you even bring it up.In that I mean as in a family situation where your medical history may be important, not just for your own best interest, but theirs as well.
It amazes me how many people judge you differently...even close friends.

[Pamster]

Yeah I think what someone else said fits this situation, you can only tell someone about it once, and you can't 'untell' them so beware who you talk to about your dx. Nice to meet you CODDLING REQUIRED. :) I think I have only had the dx for just about two almost three years. I still someimtes have trouble with it emotionally. :o

I am really lucky my mother has been so supportive. I would feel just awful if she used it against me. But rather then that she's seen where it really does help her understand how and why I acted like I did in my twenties and early thirties let alone the teen years. :p

[ODAT]

Since I'm now on disability and don't work, I don't worry too much about who knows that I am bipolar. If it comes up in conversation with someone, then I openly discuss it. Like I do my fibromyalgia. I consider it like I do any other illness. I understand that most people don't have that luxury. I've been in the same stable relationship for 31 years, my kid is grown, I don't care what people think of me and I enjoy educating people about my conditions if they are interested. I have run into people that are shocked when they find out. Most are simply curious, some are rude, some are idiots. I don't worry about them.

For those of you who are single, young, working, or parents of young children, the decision as to whether you reveal that you are bipolar to certain people is much more complicated. Since your medical condition is private information. You should feel guilty by not revealing it. You wouldn't tell everybody if you had vaginal itching would you! Now doctors are a different matter. If they are going to prescribe medication, then they have to know about your bipolar if you are taking medication for it.

Even if you are not taking medication for your bipolar, it might be a good idea to tell them. For example, I have bipolar and fibromyalgia, I just read a research article where they found that these two conditions are inherited together in certain families. My daughter also has both conditions. In this case it is important that my doctors know I have both conditions.

:)Pam

[potatobug]

I used to blurt it out to everyone I knew.Now I am a bit more resered,I dont reveal to people I work with(though now I am a homemaker and don't work)and it takes a while within a relationship with a friend to be able to judge whether or not the particular friend is someone I would share this with.I think that most of the people I am close to in my life are aware of my having BP disorder,but I dontmake a point of living my illness when I am well.Or being my disorder, meaning that I try to focus on my health and wellness, and other aspects of what makes me well, me.At this particular time I am a bit overwhelmed by my symptoms and am having a difficult time separating them from who I am.I am currently pulling myself together from a period of mixed episode/withdrawal from celexa that was pretty ugly for me.But like others have said it really is a personal choice of whom you want to make privy to an insidious illness that can easily take over your world.


Patty

[NIKI209]

I Dont Really Like Talking Or Telling People That I'm Bp. Im Pretty Embarassed By It. My Boyfriend Has Got A Serious Problem About Letting People Know About My Problem And No Matter How Many Times I Tell Him To Be Quite About It, He Still Has A Tendancy To Blurt It Out And How Hard It Is To Deal With Me. I Told My Mom Myself When The Doctor Diagnosed Me With It And She Started Saying "i Knew It! I Knew Something Was Wrong With You!" Like I Was Some Kind Of Disease Or Something. I'm So Glad I Found A Website To Where I Can Relate To Other People On. I Have A Hard Time Dealing With Myself Sometimes. If The People I Love Are Putting Me Down For It Who Knows What Other People Would Say. Im Extremly Embarrased Telling Other People!