so excited

[Kashis]

I have been asked to write for a new magazine coming out on dv victims and survivors in oct due to it being National Domestic Violence Month but there is more news I have also been asked to be a internet radio host to talk about dv and other topics this all came about from my domestic violence page right now its volenteer but if it takes off I will get paid I just am bursting at the seams and wanted to share some good news
I will keep posting the more I find out I am so happy Hugs Krissi

[tic chick]

krissi!

WOW!!!!!!

krissi, i am so excited for you! you would be an AWESOME voice for domestic violence survivors!

the material you have posted here (how to tell if you are being abused, how to leave safely) would be great to use in either mediums.

congratulations,
((((jeannie)))))

[blossom4th]

Wow Krissi!!! :D Congratulations! :)

[Kashis]

risingabovemagazine. com this is the name of the magazine this is just starting out but I am listed in the staff under Krissi for all who want to check it out and find out more Hugs Krissi

[cheyriver]

Congratulatins Krissi!

I also believe you will be an awesome voice for victims and survivors out there.:) Please keep us updated. :)

[Kashis]

If it wasn't for all of you i wouldn't have this chance to make a difference you gave me the strength to touch on all topics to create my page an I know this is a sign that I can my self confidence is high my self esteem is awesome right now I don't want you to think I am bragging you all just don't know how honored I am to be asked to do this and ever more so to have friends like you to give me the support I need to encourage me and help me belive I can do this I love you all and would be lost without you Thanks all without you I couldn't do this alone I truely belive this is my calling Hugs Krissi

[CanRelate]

I'm late to the game....but congrats on the opportunities to get the word out. I read your posts when I am able... heavy, but critically important info. You surely have saved some lives....quite literally I am sure...

Warm regards,
CanRelate

[Kashis]

I have been taken off the magazine due to conflicts of me still being married not that my husband didn't get 3 yrs of help mattered and 7 yrs of working on change I SUGGEST NO ONE TRY THIS EVER BUT I AM OK AN STILL A SURVIVOR

She didn't think I was suitable for the magazine that I couldn't help anyone and pretty much calling me a hypocrate judged me and pretty much saying I haven't risen above abuse and I am not a survivor so thats all I can say on that as I don't want to get into it to much but she said people wouldn't belive me writing if I was still with my abuser who is a recovering abuser an hasn't touched me in 9 yrs I am a one in a millon chance of this happining I find that out on oprah but I really wish this wasn't about me as the information I have given is what i lived through and to help others so they can get out and stay out before there dead I know you all have appreciated my work and that makes me feel great

I am going to start looking at other magazines to write articles for that I could get paid for this time around and see what happens but will keep fighting on my own and posting here and on myspace I will not stop due to one incident I look at it as her loss as I have so much good information and was ready to roll and help all I could but I am not good enough for her so thats the way the ball bounces I feel judged and humiliated an that hurts but I am good I have put my life on this page and well being honest was the wrong thing maybe but I have no reason to hide and lie we did our councling and he went to jail anger managment and all kinds of other programs to get help he no longer said I am sorry as what is what most abused hear he said I need help and I will get whatever help I need if we can have a chance I got lucky he faced attemted murder charges but because I pressed charges it was 2nd degree assult and lots of help I left I drained the bank and stayed away till the help was given I lived in fear for along time after that an now I am ok he told me its gonna take along time for you to forget what I did if ever but if I work on getting better will you try to forgive me but what my life had to do with this magazine I have no clue I can't say I am not hurt but I must move on and keep doing what I do best helping those who are in abusive relashonsip stay alive and keep there kids alive to gain self esteem know what kind of abuse exists on top of all else so thats that Hugs Krissi

[Kashis]

after hearing all this and you guys don't want me posting let me know as I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or have anyone else hurting me I went through this enough Hugs Krissi

[Kashis]

The real Krissi now what do you choose
This is me
Hi my name is Krissi an this is me I have been beaten and abused by a whole family I thought this was normal and ran away then I got out I found away I got pregnant at 14 and found some one who would always love me to make the hurt go away and to comfort me but little did I know he came from an abusive family He thought this was normal just as me the cycle goes on as you will see



We drank an did many drugs the abuse started we were to young the abuse grew stronger and little did I know this wasn't right it wasn't normal I called for lots of help back then from everyone who said they were there that they were my friend no one came no one called I was stuck in abuse and took many falls

Now after 22 yrs all has changed its was 9 yrs ago I stopped the pain I sent him to jail and shocked him to all reality that I was human this wouldn't be never again would he try to kill me He called on the phone and said to me not what I always heard not that he was sorry

But the words he said I never expected I have a disease thats been neglected

I didn't know that this was wrong and I want to get help I will do it alone I will do it myself but if I do can we try to make things better and leave the past behind It took years and my brain was injured to complicated and damaged I had to list all the memories of all the bullsh**t

I faced him eye to eye and told him I couldn't ask why as there was no answer there was no way to explain why I was beat so bad it affected my brain day in and out for seven years I had to search and search and cry many tears I had to live with it all again with the man who did this being my only friend

He got his help I will not lie its taken years and I am still alive I don't live in fear or anger no more I let the past go its buried and dead that person I married was the man I met

so many days of so much pain and now dealing with living with trouble with my brain we came together and he helped me through I belive him again when he says I love you

There will never be many like me that has an abuser get the help he needs I was lucky and don't recommed staying with an abuser but nobody would help me way back when

I didn't have the choices that victims all do there weren't shelters for me to turn to I didn't just go back in any easy way I lived in fear for 7 yrs day by day by day

But I am a survivor in a whole differnt way I have risen above and left the violent way Just becasue I chose to stay doesn't mean I don't want in home terrorism to stop in anyway

We are all different and can't take it no more my choice to live was dying on my home floor I wasn't gonna take it the cycle had to be broke I wasn't going to be abused I wasn't going to have my jaw broke

We were so young I don't think either one of us knew better we have been through hell and back and grew together its been 22 yrs since the day we began to walk down the aisle hand in hand

In home terrorism out of my life cause he got the help to see me as a mother a friend and a wife not someone to throw me around smash my face into the door as I am so hurt and falling to the floor

So what I write I am still with this man he spent years getting the help to step up and stand

So by running this page am I wrong becasue I am telling you to get out and move on I took it for a very long time I almost died to open my eyes

now I see so many others that have lost there friends there sisters there mothers

I have Survived in many ways but some may not think so as I am with a recovering abuser today



So does that make me a bad person for wanting to fight for it to stop I lived it all my life going through what many still do I don't want this to happen anymore I have been black and blue

Its not going to stop it won't go away the abuser has a disease and don't see it that way

He will tourcher you in everyway an knows what buttons to push to keep you at his feet do as your told or your going to get beat

I don't want anyone in the danger that I once was I couldn't get out at that time I tried what I thought was the chance

but now I am posting helpful information here on the web and listining to what you went through some of you have stopped the black and blue some by leaving and getting away



But some still are out there and choose to stay what my kids saw and they remember is just awful to me what I was dumb enough to take and let them see

So just because things are ok for me I highly suggest get out get freed

Call me a hypocrite as I lived through

but I see nothing wrong with trying to help you I understand I was there I know how to listen I know how to care I remember the pain know the flashbacks to I still jump at the drop of a spoon

I have learned how to live in a different way no violence no abuse I made sure this will never happen again and now its my turn to spread what I learned by experience and faith I was you once I was in your place

I will do everthing to help you cope

but its now up to you to decide if I am a joke

so now you know I am still married but the life of violence Is now gone he got the help and I grew strong

But now i have the option to make a change for all the things I ever wanted but couldn't rearrange I am now here because it still mattered No more wounds no more black eyes I will help you out of all the lies

I want to help do what I never could get out get help and make you better because if there Is anything I have learned through this all is I really do matter

[cheyriver]

Krissi,

That magazine woman must have her head in the clouds. Your husband got the help he needed and most men who abuse won't admit they have a problem or seek help. I would hope she would have thought wow this is inspirational etc etc.

I'm so sorry they turned you down. But I think there will be other more suitable offers that will come your way. You will be a great spokesperson for abuse victims and survivors out there. Hugs to you. :)

[Kashis]

Thanks for all your support all of you as this got me down but I am coming back by keeping on doing what I have been doing so I am gonna be here more topics will come and my page will continue you have all inspired me that I am making a difference and don't give up Hugs Krissi

[joy]

Krissi I too am late in joining in here on this. I have enough sense about you to know that you are no longer being abused by your husband or you would not be with him! It is a shame that their choices are so slim and their loss I think. I say just keep up the good work you have been doing here and I'm sure other places, especially in your own situation. Yeah for Krissi!!

[Kashis]

You guys keep making me cry with your kind words but it gives me the strenghth to keep working and making a difference and I wasn't going to but took the magazine off my myspace page as I don't belive in it as I was judged I feel there are others out there that the same thing will happen too and its not right I wasn't going to do this and decided that it was something I had to do I thought about it for awhile I didn't want to do it out of a childish reaction in spite of being upset I wanted to do it after I thought about things for awhile so no longer is that magazine a friend of mine and I am going to continue to do what I do best keep on posting information to help others as this isn't only about my life its about alot of lives and people that aren't so fourtunate as I was I can keep searching for helpful posts and keep helping people learn from mistakes I lived and now are put away and over with Hugs Krissi

[joy]

Good!! I am glad to hear you will keep on helping here and perhaps other places as well that you may know of. I believe it may enfore and make you stronger as well as help others who may be seeking strength or answers of how to help themselves or loved ones.